Collector’s Guilt?

[CrystalSnowflake]

I think anything can be taken to unhealthy addiction level problems for a person. Unless you are breaking the law to obtain it, not meeting your other adult obligations, neglecting family/spouse,  etc , then people have not real business complaining about what you do with your time or money.

I also look at what other things do I choose to spend money on. Personally I don't buy clothes or shoes often, I don't buy makeup or get my hair and nails done. I don't go to the movies much. I think I really only spend money on video games and ponies. Even ponies I haven't spent much money on lately since my G3 collection is only missing super rare and a few repose ones.

I honestly think everyone has a collection of some sort. photos, cook wear sports equipment etc to support what they like or have interest in. Some people just don't understand hobbies and collections they deem to be unimportant or frivolous.

[Leave a Whisper]

Don't feel guilty about it. Who cares what they think?

 One: These things are going to exist whether you, or any of us collect them or not. And if they're older and sitting on a collector's shelf, or being handed down to a kid then they're not in a land fill are they?

Two: It's not like you're karate chopping 5 yo kids in the store to obtain them.  You're not clearing up entire aisles,  or making deals with a supply truck to scalp them either.

Three: Some people in the world are just Negative Nellies, who won't stop until they've made the people around them miserable too.

I've had family members get so frustrated with me about collecting. They just kept picking at me until I declared loudly "Right, that's it, I'm going to get cocaine!"
Mild panic ensued.

I'd rather spent money on things I enjoy!

Okay this made me laugh!

[Queen Sophie]

Ponies are one of the very few things that make me happy and I am not in a good place in my life and if someone where to go up and tell me stop collecting toys they aren’t made for you adults, I’d get even more mlp toys and make them angry! Like what makes you think you have the power to tell me what I can and can’t like!?
Luckily I’ve never come across anything like that personally and my family is very open that I collect ponies and if all mlp toys were only to be given to kids then would you give a child $1000 plastic horse?
Literally anything can be an unhealthy obsession not just collecting kid stuff, literally anything else you can think of! People thinking that collecting Barbie or Star Wars isn’t bad but those could be an unhealthy obsession as well! These people need to think more logically and not see the world black and white
And another thing, someone said to an mlp collector this girl needs to get a boyfriend, no way, plastic horses lasts longer than the relationship I’ve been in lol

[Ponyfan]

Thanks, Beth.    I did buy it, but my I still associate that memory with it.  It happened in 2018 and I still remember it like it was yesterday,

So many great points in this thread.

There's a chain store that I only go in to if I absolutely have to and then I get what I'm looking for and get out quickly.  Why?  Because I felt looked down on for even entering that store because I guess I don't fit some employee's idea of who should be shopping in that store.   It seemed clear to me that the first employee I met in there acted like I shouldn't have even stepped inside because I'm probably not the typical type of customer they get.  That was strike one.  Strike two happened when I tried to place an order on the store's website.  There was some kind of glitch when I tried to order and I ended up calling customer service. When the agent asked if I wanted to place the order for the item over the phone using a different payment method than the one I had tried to use online I told him no because I had had a very long day at work that day and after dealing with the order not going through and having to talk to customer service, I didn't want to deal with it anymore.  When I told the agent I wasn't going to reorder the item, he became very rude with me and kept telling me to hang up. 

I heard from a friend that the chain stores in my state often treat their customers that way and give preference to those that they think fit in.  I have been in a few times afterwards and the employees have been nice, but the bad experiences make me avoid shopping there as much as possible.

A while back the store had a set of anime figures in the window.  I looked at them but refused to go in the store.


Ponyfan

[SkyCakes]

Im going will if makes you happy then go do it. I feel sad hearing about this its totally depressive. I collect what I love and if it stops it going in the landfill than that is a postive thing. I think ive got to the point I dont care where I shop anymore. If I like something I will buy it end of story. People collect what they love I agree with the (if its a male thing its ok and its not ok for females to collect girl things.) I think the world is going to the dogs.

[Barnacle_lady]

Gosh, these persons obviously don't think about the "waste" a child can bring to the climate. Just being sarcastic but you get my point

Never heard comments about keeping toys away from kids. The main thing where I live is to donate toys for the holidays. There is currently a commercial that shows an attic full of 2nd hand toys. And the kids are asked if they are ok to receive 2nd hand toys. So that's also sends a message not to waste. Nothing to feel guilty about too.

[SunbeamV]

others have already covered big points like misogyny and older toys not even being safe for kids because of chemicals/lead paint/etc, and keeping plastic out of landfills, so i'll just add:

1. big difference between a grown man suddenly developing an interest in a little girls' series/toy and then making it all about them (you all know very well what i'm talking about), which only started happening around 2011, and the vast majority of collectors before that, who were mainly women who simply held onto their own childhood belongings and simply sustained an interest their whole lives, and often went on to share it with their young relatives.

2. my dad always taught me the value of "cheap entertainment". basically, the world can be positively miserable a good portion of the time, and anything that brings a little sunshine into your day is worth the investment, especially when you get a good deal. take a new pony. that's $5 usd. even if the time i spend cleaning it up, styling its hair, arranging her nicely on a shelf, and snapping a few pics for social media only adds up to an hour, that was still less than minimum wage, to pay myself in happiness. same goes for movies, $10 or so is a good deal for 2-3 hours of entertainment, or a videogame being $80 for 100+ hours of fun and joy? thats an amazing deal. materialism isn't good for us either, but there is value to be found in these things when we pay ourselves first, including in matters of happiness.

people have also been telling me i'm "too old" and "weird" for collecting ponies since i was (checks notes) nine years old. i couldn't bring myself to care then, so i certainly don't care now at the ripe age of 28 

edit: also, if they're so pressed about "taking away from the kids boohoo", maybe they should pony up (lol) and donate some toys to kids in need? these are mass produced items babe

[Beth3346]

this morning i was still thinking about this thread and i didn't see anyone mention that some online discourse is also a bit silly in general. like a year ago on twitter people were losing their minds over a woman who made chili for her new neighbors. if you're fortunate enough to have missed this i'm sure if you google "chili neighbor" you can get caught up. people were saying stuff like "oh what if the pot is too heavy for them to carry?" "what if they're vegetarians?" "how dare you bring them a pot that they'll have to clean later?" there were articles in the Washington Post about this nonsense. IRL she brought the chili over and the neighbors were happy.

i'm not really active on Reddit but on twitter i've seen people try to say cast iron pans are "bougie" and attack someone for having a collection of whiskey. it seems that one should only buy alcohol if they plan to drink it immediately

people online say stupid stuff to get reactions. it's hard to not let if affect you but a lot of it is just nonsense.

[Taffeta]

Going slightly off topic but not really. I remember a conversation with one of my flatmates back at uni, who was in politics or something like that. And she had a very wry sense of humour, but she thought it was hilarious how all the kids in her class with their ipads and macbooks would glare at people who came into class with Starbucks mugs because it was 'American capitalism at work'. She thought it hilarious. So did we.

I do think bronyism had a negative impact on the reputation of pony collecting, but I think it was just lowkey before that point. The comment about it being weird to be on collector forums is laughable. It goes back to what I said before. We came online to escape that kind of judgement. Now those people have not only invaded the internet, they've decided it's their space and they have the right to push into other people's lives.

I don't have most social media because I don't want to butt into other people's lives. I don't need to get involved in their political squabbling. I pulled back from Facebook during the Brexit campaigning and vote and aftermath. I have my opinions on it, but I have no idea what the point is staying divided over something that we all need to just deal with now. But the internet has given literally everyone an opinion on everything.

The thing that frightens me most isn't the officious people in other people's faces about their collections or whatever. It's the people using platforms to marginalise people just in general. Any platform. It's almost like nobody believes in live and let live anymore. There's so many people pushing their life values on others in a hostile way, and using really ugly language when they don't conform or agree. And it's gone through all levels of society. It's not that I'm naive enough to believe that level of intrusiveness didn't exist before the internet blew up, but now it's easier to hurt someone you have never met face to face because you don't share political views or cultural experiences. Commenting on collecting is just the tip of the iceberg.

I see idiotic things in both right and left wing papers in this country on a daily basis. Most of them are opinion pieces that seem designed to stoke division and outrage. It's little wonder that it's pervading every area of life.

The internet had its issues, but it was a better place before it became 'cool'.

@Loa, that made me laugh out loud I have always been lucky to have supportive family, even through the generations, with my collecting. Parents have always said that it's better than other habits, and my Dad collects old puppets anyway, so it's in the family. I don't make a huge thing about it in public circles but I don't make a big secret of it either. But one of my colleagues was wearing a care bear skirt the other week and today she had a unicorn scrunchie on. And we literally had G4 MLP stickers we were giving out and several stickers ended up on the back of staff badges. So I feel reassured that there are a lot of accepting people out there.

One of my other colleagues is a massive donghua fan, has figures, cosplays, and everything. She's not that much younger than me. Another colleague plays pokemon. She's a year older. It makes me feel like the judgemental nasty people are actually an echo chamber of their own - and we shouldn't let them influence us with their negativity.

[BlackCurtains]

I remember when I was still going places to shop, I stopped in fye and they had the Futurama box set on sale (the original 4 seasons before it was brought back). I brought it up to the counter and the lady asked if I was getting a Christmas gift for a child *smiles* I said proudly, "No! This is for me!" and her smile faded and she was like 'oh'

For one, Futurama is not a child's cartoon, secondly don't ask things like that!

edit: I don't think the internet is worse than it used to be. I've been in The Sims community for a very, very long time, and even back in the early 2000s there were websites that attacked and made fun of people and the way they played the game. Heck, Sim Secret was still on Live Journal up until the Russians took it over and made it their political soapbox. There were also burn books and communities made up of Nazis and pedophiles, just like there is today except back then it was easier for them to hide. Man, anyone remember Weird News from the 90s? >.> that was WTF and TMI and too much internet today before those were phrases.

[Beth3346]

Going slightly off topic but not really. I remember a conversation with one of my flatmates back at uni, who was in politics or something like that. And she had a very wry sense of humour, but she thought it was hilarious how all the kids in her class with their ipads and macbooks would glare at people who came into class with Starbucks mugs because it was 'American capitalism at work'. She thought it hilarious. So did we.

lol. yeah it's a bit exhausting. i hate so much about capitalism but it's the system we have. i guess they way it functions depends on your country but it's pretty impossible to not participate unless you're willing to completely drop out of society. i don't think putting normal people down for buying things that comfort them is going to win people over.

i think nosy people have always been there but with the internet they can spread their commentary to the rest of the world. plus if they're online, they don't have to worry about someone beating them up for not minding their own business.

BC, yeah i remember in the late 90s there was Something Awful and some other site I don't know the name of that posted celebrity death photos. maybe it was Weird News? and actually even before the internet existed Nazis were setting up networks like Liberty Net. people will always use technology for terrible stuff.

i think in the earlier days it was less in places where "normies" hung out. like you didn't just see awful content while scrolling like you do today. IDK i didn't go on the earlier forums when i was younger. i mainly remember other people talking about it. and i've read articles by people who talking about the connections between early internet and the bad internet places that exist today. i was pretty cautious online when i was young.

[Carrehz]

Oh, the internet's always had nasty people in it and horrible communities for them to cluster up in, but it definitely feels different nowadays. I guess they're more... open? spread-out? ...harder to avoid. I dunno how to put it.

But yeah, really what it all boils down to is that there's some horrible, judgemental people out there who derive pleasure from making others miserable. This whole "collectors should feel guilty" thing is just an offshoot of the whole ~*purity culture*~ thing... People see something they don't like and they twist things around so they can insist it's not that they don't like it, it's that the thing is morally wrong!!! and if you argue with them, then you're a horrible sinful person - it's a stupid, pathetic way of trying to get the "upper hand" in the argument.

[BlackCurtains]

BC, yeah i remember in the late 90s there was Something Awful and some other site I don't know the name of that posted celebrity death photos. maybe it was Weird News? and actually even before the internet existed Nazis were setting up networks like Liberty Net. people will always use technology for terrible stuff.

Something Awful is still around. The only reason I know is because I like the Let's Play forum, but there's a standalone site that archives them so you don't need to be on SA to see them. The other site is probably Rotten which afaik is also still around.

Oh, the internet's always had nasty people in it and horrible communities for them to cluster up in, but it definitely feels different nowadays. I guess they're more... open? spread-out? ...harder to avoid. I dunno how to put it.

This is true. I think it's because they've rarely suffered consequences for saying things to other people. But now people ARE being punished for the things they say and do, so I think it's getting better. But that just makes those people louder unfortunately.

[Ponybookworm]

I've had family members get so frustrated with me about collecting. They just kept picking at me until I declared loudly "Right, that's it, I'm going to get cocaine!"
Mild panic ensued.

I'd rather spent money on things I enjoy!

BINGO!!! I haven't had a drop of booze in years, I'm not a big make-up person, & I cut my own hair, while for movies I get a Netflix subscription & occasionally treat myself to a DVD (some have been lent to the place which does film day on Monday so others can enjoy). I haven't eaten at a restaurant in years, my last eating out was at a café, & I haven't even had takeaway food in so long. I rarely buy clothes, & even back when I went to parties, I'd get a nice top from a charity shop, wear it to a night out, wash it, then donate it for somebody else to wear. I'd also hardly drink at such nights out, sticking to soft drinks. But that was years ago. I haven't even travelled further than the local bus route since global healthscare.
So yeah, what things I DO spend money on for my enjoyment are Ponies, plushies, yarn, & the odd DVD & a subscription or so. It's what I choose to enjoy. And I do enjoy it.

[SunPony]

I haven't seen that Bluey collection but I have definitely seen some huge collections of other things.  Sometimes they do seem  excessive to me, but I was raised in a "moderation in all things" household.  Still, it's really kind of a culture shock to me rather than being inherently morally problematic. 

There is no way to please everyone all of the time.  You gotta think of what YOU value.  Unless you are donating every spare (insert your national currency here) to charity, then you could guilt yourself over SOMETHING, I'm sure.  Did you fly on a plane this year?  Shame on you for climate change!  Did you drive a car?  Shame on you for all those tire microplastics and danger to pedestrians!  Did you watch TV?  Shame on you for using electricity when you could have read a library book!

There are so many ways to approach MLP collecting from a moral angle: unnecessary plastic packaging, spending money you could have donated to charity or something, keeping toys from kids who would enjoy them (debatable IMHO), supporting companies with possibly bad factory conditions, encouraging the production of plastic products, etc.  I guess the key is to just keep your OWN collecting efforts within YOUR values.  If you feel like you've gone too far, then maybe you have!  If not, then do your thing 

I definitely don't feel bad about collecting vintage ponies.  They are quite possibly no longer even SAFE for children to handle, so they are better off with adult collectors.  Just thinking of some poor 2 year old teething on an old pony leaking plasticizer is gross 

For new ponies, I do really appreciate the move away from plastic and toward cardboard packaging!  Plastic waste is an important issue to me personally, so this is significant to me.  But to people who don't care about that, it would be a non-issue. But then, something else that I do without shame might be something they would find really bothersome. 

TBH, rehairing does bother me a bit bc of all the tiny plastic bits created when I trim the hair.  But I try to keep that to a minimum and make sure it all gets into the trash can. 

Overall, I feel like toy collecting by adults is such a minor thing compared to other things that have a MUCH more significant impact on the world around us