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If you must meet her in person to complete the sale, do so in a public place. Maybe you can meet at a mall or in a busy store. I guess I watch "Unsolved Mysteries" too much because I do not trust strangers...especially not rude ones.
Was this transaction through ebay?I would not file a NPB as your buyer will be able to front up email communication to ebay to show it was cash on arrival transaction and that they were happy to pay. You would be better coming up with a mutual agreement to cancel the transaction - I would suggest you see if your buyer will go that route with you.While I can understand you wishing to back out of a sale, unfortunately your buyer would be able to leave negative feedback and they would be well within their right to do so. It really is unfair on your buyer to back out of the sale.
When I'm selling with pick-up, I won't accept paypal - as the buyer can then say item not received, and you have no proof of shipping, because you handed it to them! You're definitely better off with cash when doing pick-up sales, as there's zero seller protection there anyway! (and you save on paypal fees, but that's not the point)edit: They also can't file 'item not received' when they pay cash because they have no record of payment.