Buyer VERY upset over my feedback policy :( Need opinions/advice

[silverdawn]

Hey all!

I just got an email from a buyer who was VERY upset over my feedback policy this morning, and it is concerning to me as a seller.  I'll post the relevant info below.

Auction terms regarding feedback:

Returns & Feedback
Returns are only accepted if the item was not in the condition described.  The return must be made withing 14 days of receiving the item.  If there are any problems with your purchase, please contact me before leaving negative or neutral feedback.  5-star ratings are my goal and if there are any problems with your purchase, I'd like to have the opportunity to make things better!  I will leave positive feedback for you once you receive your items and have left positive feedback for me.  If you are unhappy with our transaction, please contact me with any issues or problems and I will do my best to work with you.  Best of luck with your bids!

hello,
I have received the pony. shes is good shape and I have no problems with the item. what I have a problem wih is not having feedback. l am a seller also. and I leave feedback right away. once someone pays on time there is no other reason for me to not leave feedback. what l leave is not conditional to what you leave. lt is possible for me to do nothing wrong and have a problems with you or the item. l just ask for feedback on both sides. what you leave is up to u. l think its unfair for you to decide not to leave positive feedback unless l do. There's no reason for you to give me negative feedback. l paid on time. what else is there on my side? what am l missing that makes you think its ok to not leave me positive feedback. the questions and feedback don't apply to reasons that would allow you to leave negative feedback for me. l cant leave feedback for a seller that tells me upfront that I wont get positive feedback when l did noting wrong.

To which I responded:

I'm happy to answer your question on why I don't leave feedback right away.  But first off, you have been an amazing buyer who paid very quickly, so thank you!   To put your mind at ease, as a seller, I cannot leave negative feedback for a buyer, so you never have to worry about that.  Ebay has instituted a policy that prevents buyers, like yourself, from receiving negative feedback from their sellers.  All I can do is report, but I can only report if I haven't already left positive feedback.

I used to leave positive feedback right away, but I ran into a situation where I had a buyer make some pretty unreasonable demands.  Don't get me wrong, I always make an effort to work with my buyers, especially if I've done something wrong, but that definitely wasn't the case with this situation.  Because I had already left positive feedback, I was unable to report this person and had no recourse with eBay.  I feel that a buyers responsibility goes beyond just paying quickly.  Sometimes things go wrong with the post office, packages show up late, or damaged (very rarely) and it's at these points that a buyer and seller must work together to make sure that both parties reach an end that is satisfactory for both.  Also, if a buyer is  unhappy with their item or I have made a mistake, I would hope the buyer would contact me first before leaving a negative, in which case I would  most definitely fix the problem with as little inconvenience to the buyer and no extra cost to them.  I don't believe a buyer that is unwilling to work with a seller deserves positive feedback simply for paying quickly when they might afterwards show that they are unreasonable to work with.

I hope this puts your mind at east in that my intentions are not at all sinister, they are simply to help protect myself in the case of an unreasonable buyer.  And you are definitely not unreasonable and have nothing to worry about.   Please let me know if you have any other questions or concerns!

-----

My issues is this, I don't want to scare away potential buyers by thinking that I'm holding feedback over their heads, as this person felt.  My only reason is to protect myself as a seller.  What I want to know, is would many of you feel the same as this buyer?  If so, please let me know!  I won't be at all offended!  If my buyers think I'm coming off as a rude obnoxious jerk, I want to know!  And I don't want them to feel that they can't come to me if there's a problem with their items either!  Any help or advice is muchly appreciated!

Silverdawn

[ponycake]

Feedback should be done in my opinion after business is completely taken care of. After the item is received. There's a lot between payment and receiving the item that a buyer can hassle you about or be rude about and you don't know that yet until all is over with.

Honestly this person annoys me and I wouldn't be as polite to them. Very few sellers give me positive feedback as soon as I pay, and I actually dislike when they do because if THEY did something wrong in packaging or something or taking too long to ship then I feel GUILTY to complain about it when they've left me a nice comment! It's happened to me recently with a couple of MIB g3s I bought from a seller. I'm mad because the way they shipped it meant the boxes got damaged but I bit my tongue because they already left me glowing feedback. And that's a pain in the butt because now I'm going to want to buy these same ponies over again, waste of my money!

Forget them. Leave feedback after everything is done with, after the transaction is fully complete. That's how it should be.

[Artemesia's Garden]

It sounds like the straw that broke the camel's back! She is clearly stressed to rant at you like that.  You were very nice in your reply.

By the way I always leave feedback for buyers right away, reason being that you can't leave a neg anyway so you might as well do it while you are dealing with the rest of the transaction. In my mind it saves time and energy, but hey, that's just me.

[nhal039]

I wouldn't worry about it, your terms are pretty standard now days. I think she was just upset cause I bet many sellers aren't leaving her feedback at all, when I was buying alot and trying to build feedback I found many sellers wouldn't leave feedback, I always paid as soon as I won and never was difficult so I just couldn't see why they wouldn't leave feedback and why I should have to go out of my way to ask for it. Once I started selling I found it worked both ways sellers wouldn't leave feedback because most buyers don't and as a seller feedback is important on ebay where its not so much for a buyer. She properly is in the situation I was as a buyer
Anyhow your response was perfect I don't think she will be a problem you properly copped the rant that is aimed at many of she sellers

[Iris]

I don't sell a lot of stuff but I follow the same sort of idea.  I wait until the transaction is totally complete (they've received the item and seem satisfied with it) to leave feedback.

I think maybe you could rework this sentence a little if you're afraid someone else having a bad day will take offense to it.
"I will leave positive feedback for you once you receive your items and have left positive feedback for me"

1) I will leave positive feedback for you once you receive your items and have left feedback for me
2) Once our transaction is fully completed I will leave positive feedback for you.

[silverdawn]

Thanks Iris!  I think I will definitely do that with my next batch of auctions!  I find that most people don't leave feedback now, both buyers and sellers.  It's definitely frustrating as I could easily have over 1200 positives by now if everyone left feedback.  And there's always that worry in the back of mind that the people who didn't leave feedback are actually upset about something and just scared to contact me.
Silverdawn

[Squirrelypaws]

I agree; feedback should be based on how the buyer handles the entire transaction, including any possible issues that come up. I think a lot of buyers don't really "get" that, and are under the impression that because they paid right away, they should get feedback right away.

I do think Iris has a good suggestion about rewording your policy, though. Maybe tack on a bit of explanation as to why you've adopted that policy as well; that way, people have a little more of an idea why you do things the way you do.

[ponylady]

I have been selling on eBay for over 10 years (4800+ feedback) and I have never left feedback before the buyer, ever. I also have never had a buyer approach me about it either.

I believe that the transaction is not complete until the buyer has received their item, they are satisfied and leave positive feedback reflecting that. I have been through the many changes to the feedback system over the years. I find it flawed and that it is the one last thing I am still able to control and make my own decision on how I handle it. It sounds to me like your buyer just wanted something to gripe about.

[PNW0611]

I'm actually surprised a buyer even read that! Seems most people don't read the policies/instructions/etc.

For me as a seller, I don't leave feedback until after the buyer leaves feedback for me because I don't believe they've done their part simply by paying. They could turn out to be an awful buyer who causes lots of problems or is a scammer. We can't leave negative feedback for a buyer, but we can report them and have ebay deal with them, but if we've already left them positive feedback we're kinda screwed. I don't spell out anything about feedback or ever request feedback. I personally find it annoying when someone even mentions feedback as a buyer or a seller. Feedback is a choice, not an obligation.

I think maybe the main issue is the word "positive". By saying you will leave feedback after they leave positive feedback seems slightly manipulative (sorry). If you took out the word positive it would read more benignly, imho. I'd actually just remove everything about feedback. No feedback is sometimes the best feedback (at least it's not negative!).

Also, as an aside, if a buyer ever tries to manipulate a seller into bending to their will (like say for a partial refund, or giving back their money without them returning the item) by saying basically "if you don't do this I'll leave you negative feedback", that's called feedback extortion and is against ebay policies. You should report the buyer and never give in to them.

[CoonhoundBetty]

You were so polite and eloquent with your response; I would have wanted to throat punch them.

[silverdawn]

Thanks PNW, I'm definitely changing my terms of service after this one and will reword it to sound a more neutral.  I really appreciate all the advice everyone has given me on the changes I should make.  Sometimes you just stare at your own dumb words and don't see a problem that's glaring to others, so it's nice when you can get an opinion from a second set of eyes.   As for this buyer, she's actually contacted me back and it sounds like she's been put through the wringer and worse by other transactions lately.  She's actually very nice, and I wasn't so much worried about her as much as I was worried that I sounded like an unapproachable jerk to others.

Silverdawn

[ponycake]

Thanks PNW, I'm definitely changing my terms of service after this one and will reword it to sound a more neutral.  I really appreciate all the advice everyone has given me on the changes I should make.  Sometimes you just stare at your own dumb words and don't see a problem that's glaring to others, so it's nice when you can get an opinion from a second set of eyes.   As for this buyer, she's actually contacted me back and it sounds like she's been put through the wringer and worse by other transactions lately.  She's actually very nice, and I wasn't so much worried about her as much as I was worried that I sounded like an unapproachable jerk to others.

Silverdawn

You didn't at all imo. You sounded reasonable and polite.

[Vertefae]

I do not leave feedback until I know the package has been recieved. That way if there is an issue, I can be completely honest in the Feedback.

[Miss_Pompon]

There's no way you would have sound like a jerk ! It's very politely written.
There's nothing wrong with your feedback policy, it's normal to wait for the feedback of the buyer before giving yours.

[prancingstag]

I can understand where your buyer is coming from, if you're in the defensive frame of mind it can read like 'you won't get any feedback unless you give me a positive first'. That's not at all what you were aiming for but it can be misconstrued in that direction and a sensitive customer might be put off by it.

If you were to reword the paragraph, instead of this:

5-star ratings are my goal and if there are any problems with your purchase, I'd like to have the opportunity to make things better!  I will leave positive feedback for you once you receive your items and have left positive feedback for me.  If you are unhappy with our transaction, please contact me with any issues or problems and I will do my best to work with you.

I would aim for something more like:

5-star ratings are my goal and if there are any problems with your purchase, I'd like to have the opportunity to make things better! If you are unhappy with our transaction, please contact me with any issues or problems and I will do my best to work with you. I will leave feedback for you once you receive your items and the transaction is concluded.

Best of luck with your future sales