EDIT: The gift option, rude or not? Previously: USA-UK Postal Delays?

[MikeysGrrrl]

Ok, either I'm really slow or just really confused. Is this about when you send a payment for an item say on the arena, and the seller tells you to cover the paypal fees when you send the money?
Because if that's the case I didn't know that it leaves me the buyer unprotected, and most sellers request that you do it, so I thought that was the norm on here.
I'm currently worried about a purchase I made from a member a month ago that still hasn't arrived and when I went to see the last time they were on here, it was the day I paid. So I'm seriously worried. Now I have to wander over to paypal and see if I paid by invoice or not, lol.

[Icecrystalline]

Ok, either I'm really slow or just really confused. Is this about when you send a payment for an item say on the arena, and the seller tells you to cover the paypal fees when you send the money?
Because if that's the case I didn't know that it leaves me the buyer unprotected, and most sellers request that you do it, so I thought that was the norm on here.
I'm currently worried about a purchase I made from a member a month ago that still hasn't arrived and when I went to see the last time they were on here, it was the day I paid. So I'm seriously worried. Now I have to wander over to paypal and see if I paid by invoice or not, lol.

If you paid via gift, you will have had to choose between:

This is payment for goods/services
or
This is payment to friends and family.

If you selected the first option, you are not protected by paypal. You can't even claim in the '40 day' time window. The only thing you can do is to hope the person is a good person. I hope it turns up, where did you purchase from (what country?) there are HUGE delays at the moment, I still haven't got a parcel posted on the 15th July. I didn't pay as a gift, but I am still concerned about the window. The person I purchased from couldn't be nicer, so I'm not worried about them being devious, I know they are a good, honest and wonderful seller.

If you have paid as a gift, hopefully someone here can shed some light. Maybe there is a way!

[MikeysGrrrl]

Ok now I understand.

The order in question was paid via invoice July 4. So I know I'm covered. The seller is located in the UK. However I've ordered several ponies from both ebay and the arena from all over the world and almost everything has arrived and they were orders that were shipped 1-2 weeks later.

I did send her a PM but I've not heard anything back. My window for a claim is slowly closing in, so I'm leaving it another week and if I've not heard back either via PM or email then I'll be left with no choice but to do a claim. Which I really hate resorting to.

However as I explained to my husband, it's my own fault as I noticed that they have 0 feedback on the arena, I know everyone has to start somewhere, but when you start looking at everything it starts to look suspicious.

I really hope I'm wrong though.

[kitkatvintage]

If you paid via gift, you will have had to choose between:

This is payment for goods/services
or
This is payment to friends and family.

If you selected the first option, you are not protected by paypal. You can't even claim in the '40 day' time window.

I think you have that backwards, dear.

If you choose "friends and family payment" that is the same as "gift", in which case you have no buyer protection.

If you choose "goods and services" you WILL have buyer protection.

When the option of buyer taking on the fees first came around, Paypal called it "gift" payment. More recently they have changed the words they use to "friends and family".

[Icecrystalline]

Yes I meant that way, I'm tired and need to get to bed

[Dewprincess]

Things seem to have been rather slow as of late in getting from the UK to the US (not sure if that's also the case the other way around...can anyone shed some light on that?)

Re: gift payments...as far as I know, if you select the gift (or friends and family option as it's now called) option, Kitkat is correct that there is no buyer protection provided through Paypal for your purchase, regardless of how early you wish to claim.  It assumes that you're sending the money as a free gift and expecting nothing in return, therefore nothing to "claim".  That's why I only ever use that option when purchasing from an Arena member, through an Arena transaction, and only those members that have well-established reputations and/or that I've dealt with previously.  I never, ever use it for an eBay transaction.

[Icecrystalline]

Things seem to have been rather slow as of late in getting from the UK to the US (not sure if that's also the case the other way around...can anyone shed some light on that?)

Re: gift payments...as far as I know, if you select the gift (or friends and family option as it's now called) option, Kitkat is correct that there is no buyer protection provided through Paypal for your purchase, regardless of how early you wish to claim.  It assumes that you're sending the money as a free gift and expecting nothing in return, therefore nothing to "claim".  That's why I only ever use that option when purchasing from an Arena member, through an Arena transaction, and only those members that have well-established reputations and/or that I've dealt with previously.  I never, ever use it for an eBay transaction.

Yes, Very, very slow from US to UK! Still waiting on a nearly 3 week ago psoted parcel!

[Ringlets]

Ok now I understand.

The order in question was paid via invoice July 4. So I know I'm covered. The seller is located in the UK. However I've ordered several ponies from both ebay and the arena from all over the world and almost everything has arrived and they were orders that were shipped 1-2 weeks later.

I did send her a PM but I've not heard anything back. My window for a claim is slowly closing in, so I'm leaving it another week and if I've not heard back either via PM or email then I'll be left with no choice but to do a claim. Which I really hate resorting to.

However as I explained to my husband, it's my own fault as I noticed that they have 0 feedback on the arena, I know everyone has to start somewhere, but when you start looking at everything it starts to look suspicious.

I really hope I'm wrong though.

The post is slow ATM as the others have mentioned, but if you're getting near the deadline then you dont want to risk losing your monies as well as ponies   Before you open a case, send the seller one last "Urgent Response Required" Pm and email (using the email addy you sent the payment on), and let them know that you've still not received the pony, that you havent heard from them since ... (when you last did), and unfortunately your Paypal deadline is almost up so you have no choice but to open a case. keep it polite (though I'm sure you dont need me to remind you of that) and let them know that if/when the pony /ies arrive then you'll send the money back.

[MikeysGrrrl]

Ok now I understand.

The order in question was paid via invoice July 4. So I know I'm covered. The seller is located in the UK. However I've ordered several ponies from both ebay and the arena from all over the world and almost everything has arrived and they were orders that were shipped 1-2 weeks later.

I did send her a PM but I've not heard anything back. My window for a claim is slowly closing in, so I'm leaving it another week and if I've not heard back either via PM or email then I'll be left with no choice but to do a claim. Which I really hate resorting to.

However as I explained to my husband, it's my own fault as I noticed that they have 0 feedback on the arena, I know everyone has to start somewhere, but when you start looking at everything it starts to look suspicious.

I really hope I'm wrong though.

The post is slow ATM as the others have mentioned, but if you're getting near the deadline then you dont want to risk losing your monies as well as ponies   Before you open a case, send the seller one last "Urgent Response Required" Pm and email (using the email addy you sent the payment on), and let them know that you've still not received the pony, that you havent heard from them since ... (when you last did), and unfortunately your Paypal deadline is almost up so you have no choice but to open a case. keep it polite (though I'm sure you dont need me to remind you of that) and let them know that if/when the pony /ies arrive then you'll send the money back.

Of course I'll be polite, I'm hoping it's just a postal delay and not anything intentional on her part. I think I'm partially at fault as I went on a pony buying spree for 2-3 weeks and because I hadn't kept track of some things, I just noticed the other day while clearing out my messages that I was still waiting and that it had already been a month, I was thinking it had only been 2 weeks. If I don't hear back by friday I will send an email with the title you indicated and if there's still no response than I will open a case.
I'm understanding and I know RL can get in the way, I would just like a heads up. In any event I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

[Sebby6]

(I'm just curious; if you bought a cheap (1-3 dollar) item and the seller asked you to pay, say... 25 cents to help with the fees on a cheap item, would that be wrong too?)

I still think that's rude. Why should I have to pay their fee?

say you bought a brush for $1 with shipping of $3. By the time fees had been taken out, the seller would be paying to sell you that brush.

[Dewprincess]

(I'm just curious; if you bought a cheap (1-3 dollar) item and the seller asked you to pay, say... 25 cents to help with the fees on a cheap item, would that be wrong too?)

I still think that's rude. Why should I have to pay their fee?

say you bought a brush for $1 with shipping of $3. By the time fees had been taken out, the seller would be paying to sell you that brush.

This is true.  I've had a few times where I've sold an item for cheap and had expensive shipping, and it resulted in me paying people to take my items :-/

[Galactica]

Re the gift/friends and family option-  I will use this (without being asked) if it is to a seller that I know and trust.  I always feel uncomfortable sending it this way if it is a newbie seller, but have been known to take the risk, and haven't been burnt yet.
 
If it is me that is doing the selling- I will only ask the buyer to pay the paypal fee (or send via friends and family if they prefer) if I am doing a favor for someone - ie helping an international arena person with a store exclusive.  I'm not making any money on the "sale" and if I didn't ask for the fee- I'd really be paying for the favor of doing someone a favor   I love helping people out- but not that much! heh
 
If I'm just selling extra pony loot on the board- I will incorporate the price into the price of the item or chalk it up to the cost of doing business via paypal.  If the person surprises me by sending it "friends and family" I will be happy- but certainly don't expect it.

I'm currently worried about a purchase I made from a member a month ago that still hasn't arrived and when I went to see the last time they were on here, it was the day I paid. So I'm seriously worried. Now I have to wander over to paypal and see if I paid by invoice or not, lol.

 

MikeysGrrrl-  I would ask your seller whether she sent it registered and then check to see where the item is.  It's pretty cheap to send by registered mail in the UK (unlike the US) so I wouldn't be surprised if there is a tracking number somewhere you can check up on.  Things have been VERY late from the UK for me lately-  I just had a doll shipped via DHL express take more than 30 days!  The doll was so expensive so both the seller and I were sweating bullets until she suddenly popped up in Jersey City (it had disappeared in Frankfurt for some reason that is still unknown).


 

[MikeysGrrrl]

Re the gift/friends and family option-  I will use this (without being asked) if it is to a seller that I know and trust.  I always feel uncomfortable sending it this way if it is a newbie seller, but have been known to take the risk, and haven't been burnt yet.
 
If it is me that is doing the selling- I will only ask the buyer to pay the paypal fee (or send via friends and family if they prefer) if I am doing a favor for someone - ie helping an international arena person with a store exclusive.  I'm not making any money on the "sale" and if I didn't ask for the fee- I'd really be paying for the favor of doing someone a favor   I love helping people out- but not that much! heh
 
If I'm just selling extra pony loot on the board- I will incorporate the price into the price of the item or chalk it up to the cost of doing business via paypal.  If the person surprises me by sending it "friends and family" I will be happy- but certainly don't expect it.

I'm currently worried about a purchase I made from a member a month ago that still hasn't arrived and when I went to see the last time they were on here, it was the day I paid. So I'm seriously worried. Now I have to wander over to paypal and see if I paid by invoice or not, lol.

 

MikeysGrrrl-  I would ask your seller whether she sent it registered and then check to see where the item is.  It's pretty cheap to send by registered mail in the UK (unlike the US) so I wouldn't be surprised if there is a tracking number somewhere you can check up on.  Things have been VERY late from the UK for me lately-  I just had a doll shipped via DHL express take more than 30 days!  The doll was so expensive so both the seller and I were sweating bullets until she suddenly popped up in Jersey City (it had disappeared in Frankfurt for some reason that is still unknown).


 

Thanks for letting me know, I really am hoping there's just a delay. However my gut instinct is saying somethings up, I've sent several messages now on here and on DA and still no response, now although she hasn't been active on here since the day I paid, she's been active on DA, so I'm really hoping that she responds.

She promised when I paid that she would email me and provide shipping confirmation, but it never came through to my email. Like my earlier post states, she does have 0 trades on here as well.

I always like to think the best of people though

[crimsondeity]

I'm with Galactica; if I'm doing someone a favor, hunting an exclusive/htf item and selling it at cost, I expect them to pay as a gift. Usually when I've done this, it's meant an extra trip somewhere (not to mention a trip to the PO to ship it) and I think it's perfectly fair to not be charged PP fees when I'm doing someone a favor.

The only other time I ask that payment be sent as a gift is when the buyer has zero feedback, and only here or other forums. I've been around for a bit, and my Ebay/forum cred is perfect. I don't think it's unreasonable to expect that a brand-new person with no reputation give me the benefit of the doubt. I know that when I first started buying on the forums, I typically paid via gift (from established sellers). I've never had a problem, although I would never pressure a new buyer to use the gift option if they weren't comfortable with it.

[Stormness_1]

I don't usually pay as a gift, I select gift to see what the fee is, then I add that onto my total and pay as 'goods and services'. That way, seller gets their fee, and I get buyer protection. Heck, sometimes I even round up!