The MLP Arena
TCB => Trader & Shipping Support => Topic started by: shelvesofwhimsy on June 21, 2017, 02:57:51 PM
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This is a long story but to sum it up:
Around Jan-Feb of this year a IG user asked to trade my Parasol for a custom pony of his, and he chose a perfume puff style Minty. I said yes because I thought "why not?" even though I didn't really need a Minty.
Flash forward the kids birthday is coming up (and I know this because he's made it very obvious) so I decide to send him his pony Parasol early so he can have it for his birthday. He has told me a few times that he will be sending it soon but his mom needs money first? But anyway as a birthday gift I throw in 2 extra ponies - including a Fashion Style Celestia.
For the next few months I would politely ask when he would be sending my pony, and was met with tons of excuses. Finally sometime in March I basically asked him up front if he would ever send it. This was after he had claimed a pony from my sale, and when I asked for his paypal info he told me "oh I have no money nvm" as if he would be getting it for free. This upset me and prompted me to confront him.
In the end he said "I probably won't be able to send you the pony I'm so sorry about this."
So I blocked him, and then he wrote some hate posts about me blocking him for giving him free ponies :blink:
Flash forward to now and I can see via IG that all of these people in our pony community have been giving him what I can only assume to be free ponies. Maybe it is because they feel bad? I know at first I did, he is 15 and maybe doesn't have a lot of money to spend on a hobby. But I want others to be aware if they've been in contact with him. Maybe he has completed some trades, but at least on my end this is considered stealing. Even if you're 17 you should know better than to take advantage of others kindness. I've told some of my close friends about this but I wanted to come forward in case others have had a similar experience.
I'm not sure if he is a member of the arena but on Instagram he has been mlp_positive_vibes, mlp_positive_vibes_photography, and is currently mlp_positive_vibes_2k18
Has anyone else traded with him?
Mods: please let me know if I should remove screen names.
*I have many screenshots if anyone is interested.
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Even for a child, that is not very nice. I get it if you want to have a hobby. But actually have the money before you ask somebody for something. It's just a baisic rule of buying things. You wouldn't go into the Starbucks, order a coffee and say "I'll pay it later." No. You buy it or no coffee/pony for you! I'm not on instagram anymore, and have never traded with this fellow. And writing hate posts? Really dude? That's what you do? It's your own fault. You did it kid. You dug your own hole, be prepared to sit in it. And if the kid is 15-17 years old, he should be able to, at least in Canada, get a part time job. If the kid needs money, starts working. Shovel people's driveways or mow the lawn or something kid!
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I don't think age is an excuse. I did my first trade online when I was fifteen, back in 97. Someone kind trusted in me and sent me ponies long in advance of when I could return the favour, and I took this kindness so seriously I went out of my way to hunt down the best trade ponies to give to her in return (ending in a huge trade of almost a hundred ponies when she visited her UK family in early 98). I also traded a lot with a girl in the late 90s who was then just twelve (anyone else remember Li'l Tot?) and she was one of the most mature and honest traders you could ever meet. It's not an age problem. It's a me-me-me attitude problem and that has no particular age limits, unfortunately.
This is clearly entitled brat behaviour and it should be outed. There are a lot of young people who would rather curl up and die than act like they deserve free stuff just because they want it.
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Totally inappropriate to back out of a trade without sending the trade pony back . . . That's flatout scamming. And he definitely sounds entitled.
I think it's worthwhile warning people about his behavior, BUT . . . after that point, there is no point in worrying whether people are sending him free ponies. If they want to send him ponies or trade with him, after having been warned about him, well, that's their business. Don't let their decisions affect your happiness, it's just not worth it.
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Hmmm... can you reach his parents somehow?
What a brat. I wonder if they know he is scamming people. Or maybe they taught him this behavior...
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Hmmm... can you reach his parents somehow?
What a brat. I wonder if they know he is scamming people. Or maybe they taught him this behavior...
It might be possible to pull a FB profile from his Instagram and sniff out his parents that way...
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Hmmm... can you reach his parents somehow?
What a brat. I wonder if they know he is scamming people. Or maybe they taught him this behavior...
It might be possible to pull a FB profile from his Instagram and sniff out his parents that way...
Also- presumably the OP has his address if she sent him ponies.
She could send a letter to them letting them know what happened and leaving her email address...
I might do that. This kid needs to hear from someone that scamming is a really poopy way to be a human being.
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Just wondering, but did the OP directly tell him "That's scamming, you are stealing from me" after he said he couldn't ever pay for the pony? I know it seems super obvious, but some kids are honestly dumb and 'don't get it' until they hear it directly, lol. If the OP hasn't confronted him directly then my suggestion is: do that. Give him a chance to make things right. Say "Within one month I expect either Minty back, my trade pony (it was a trade, right?), or this amount of money in compensation." Something with a solid deadline, so he can't just stall. And if he doesn't make good, that's when you post to the Facebook group telling what happened, or whatnot.
I don't think sending a letter to his parents is a good idea. I think most parents would find it super creepy to know someone is looking up their personal information, even if their kid did something wrong.
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Just wondering, but did the OP directly tell him "That's scamming, you are stealing from me" after he said he couldn't ever pay for the pony? I know it seems super obvious, but some kids are honestly dumb and 'don't get it' until they hear it directly, lol. If the OP hasn't confronted him directly then my suggestion is: do that. Give him a chance to make things right. Say "Within one month I expect either Minty back, my trade pony (it was a trade, right?), or this amount of money in compensation." Something with a solid deadline, so he can't just stall. And if he doesn't make good, that's when you post to the Facebook group telling what happened, or whatnot.
I don't think sending a letter to his parents is a good idea. I think most parents would find it super creepy to know someone is looking up their personal information, even if their kid did something wrong.
So I don't think I ever said directly that he was scamming or stealing from me. From his general attitude all of my earnest comments were meant with extremely immature ones, so I honestly do not think it would have done any good. Also since this was a few months back I'm not sure I want to open this can of worms back up with him.
Transcript from a conversation I had with him after blocking (he messaged from his side account):
Him: Did you block me?
Me: Obviously you know I blocked you because you made multiple IG posts painting me as a villain. You were blocked for deciding not to send your half of a trade. End of story. I'm an adult and do not have time for people who mooch off of others kindness. I work hard for everything I have. Also I didn't call you out on IG and lie about what happened, and you got three ponies for free. So please let it go and move on."
Him: I have moved on :lol:
Him: Lol you think I mooch off of other people's kindness plz :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
No reply about getting free ponies etc. So I decided it really was not worth my energy to keep replying. But I see that he's been "trading" and just want the get the awareness out.
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Wow, that seems pretty straightforward all right. He seems extremely immature. :/
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No personal information would have to be looked up - the OP already has the home address.
Personally I think it's reasonable to send a letter to the kid's parents letting them know of what their child is up to online and (hopefully) have appropriate consequences. Not correcting this kind of behaviour early can lead to a dysfunctional later life.
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If he gets in touch with me asking for free ponies. I'll tell him money first or I won't send.
If he doesn't have the money I'll just tell him that he robbed from my friends who sent ponies to him.
No one should do that to someone who has spent his or her life collecting ponies.
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Hate to say it, but any time I get "I need to ask my mom/dad" I consider the transaction dead. 90% of the time they do not pay up after those words are uttered.
There's really no excuse for that. Age isn't one. When I was 14 and buying online...I got the OK and the money from my mom FIRST before ever even initiating the inquiry about an item I wanted to buy. If it wouldn't work in an IRL store, I don't try it online either. You can't go into any other place and claim an IOU in your parent's name.
Kid's being a little scammer and 15 is old enough to know better. Hate that happened to you when you were just trying to be nice. :( But since his parents can't be easily notified of his behavior, then yeah, it probably is better to just ignore him from now on.
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I successfully sold a pony to him once before I realized he was underage. He claimed a pony, and sent me his dad's PayPal info. I sent an invoice & it was paid with a note that was something along the lines of "thanks, my son will love it". Since then he has posted on some of my sale items hinting that he would like to have it or asking for a trade. I've ignored the random hints or replied that I'm not trading at this time.
I'm not sure how many others he may have dropped these hints to... but I can see where it's possible that he's taking advantage of people's kindness. :huh:
Also since his dad clearly paid for the pony he got from me, the parents are aware of his gaining ponies via Instagram on some level. I don't know how he's explaining getting trades if he's not sending trade items out... or maybe he says they are gifts?? :huh:
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This is do rude! I judt blocked. As a 17/yo collecter whoS been in the hobby since 15, this really pisses me off as its people like him making people not trust teens im the hobby. I have my own money & paypal and wont ever break sellers rules or pull stuff like this, because i wanna be seen as a real valud collecter, not a dumb kid.
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Well said, Noxxbunny!! Age is no excuse, scammers come in all ages unfortunately -_- I hope no one else gets taken in by him.
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I thought this sounded familiar to some new person who showed up at the Southeast Pony Meet yesterday. Looked up the username, and it's the same person. I hope he actually paid for stuff there. I knew there was something off about him.
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This is do rude! I judt blocked. As a 17/yo collecter whoS been in the hobby since 15, this really pisses me off as its people like him making people not trust teens im the hobby. I have my own money & paypal and wont ever break sellers rules or pull stuff like this, because i wanna be seen as a real valud collecter, not a dumb kid.
Oh this type of behaviour isn't restricted to teenagers, not at all. There are plenty of documented cases where adults go bad - I dare say it's even more common, just because there are more adults.
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I wanted to quickly put in my two cents on this since I have been in contact with this person and his mother.
He attended the Southeast Pony Meet this year and his mother did message me at some point asking if it was okay that she drop him off to go shop around nearby. I explained to her that since he was under 18, that she, or someone else, needed to stay with him. She did stay, but I noticed she had disappeared for a bit at some point, and I think she had gone out to the car for a while.
On the other hand, she did personally come up to me to tell me that he does have Aspbergers and is very below his age maturity wise. She was very kind as was he at the meet, however it concerns me that she would even consider leaving him alone with all of us to watch him. I am not sure if anyone gave him free stuff, but I do plan to ask around to make sure he was not going around pressuring anyone into giving him things. If so, that is 100% not cool and I will likely have to take action because I do not want my attendees feeling uncomfortable ever. No one came up to me or any of my Meet staff during the event if he had made them feel uncomfortable and he just seemed to be having a grand time surrounded by ponies and was very excited.
Shelvesofwhimsy, I am so sorry you had to deal with this and no one ever should. I am not excusing his actions by any means but I did feel like everyone here needed to know this information. Sending many hugs to you and I cannot believe I somehow missed this whole debacle over on IG. :hug:
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SoW, I am so sorry to hear that you had issues with positive_vibes! I can honestly say that I am only newly introduced to him myself, but I really would not have expected this news concerning his past transactions. I personally sold several ponies to him in person on Saturday at the Southeast Pony Meet and he never asked for freebies or discounts or anything else that I would have considered to be in bad form. He was obviously young, inexperienced and now that I know he has Aspergers it seems only too obvious. I personally found him to be pleasant and rather funny.
I am quite interested to see if anyone else posts having had any similar issues with him.
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We worked out a sale prior to the meet and he picked up how Pony from Cherry (I wasn't able to attend). He was polite in all his messages to me. I'm so sorry that happened on IG.
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I do remember this young boy, he came by my table and chatted for a bit showed me his ponies that he had purchased and was very excited about it. After pulling them out of his bag, setting them on the table to show them off, and naming them he put them back into his bag and that was it. My table mate had some free g3 ponies at her table that I think he may have taken one or two but he did ask me to confirm that they were hers and that they were in fact free.
I'm sorry that you guys had negative experiences with him, the internet can be a weird to use place for underage users and the online etiquette can get lost in translation.
I never met his parents, I only saw him around from time to time.
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SoW, I am so sorry to hear that you had issues with positive_vibes! I can honestly say that I am only newly introduced to him myself, but I really would not have expected this news concerning his past transactions. I personally sold several ponies to him in person on Saturday at the Southeast Pony Meet and he never asked for freebies or discounts or anything else that I would have considered to be in bad form. He was obviously young, inexperienced and now that I know he has Aspergers it seems only too obvious. I personally found him to be pleasant and rather funny.
I am quite interested to see if anyone else posts having had any similar issues with him.
@KCherry and @MonstarNomNom
After learning that information from another attendee, his behavior and actions make much more sense to me now. I am not excusing his online behavior, since it did really upset me when it happened, but in hind sight it is much easier to move on past this transaction. I think if anything his parents need to be more involved in his interactions online if he is buying and trading ponies.
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he has a lot of photos of that parasol - what other ponies did you give him?
It doesnt surprise me he is nice and honest in person - it's so much easier ripping people off online and those other stories show it's not about money, he has money and his mom isn't raising him alone so some lies right from the start :( I started ebaying with 14 and never did such bull crap ..
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he has a lot of photos of that parasol - what other ponies did you give him?
It doesnt surprise me he is nice and honest in person - it's so much easier ripping people off online and those other stories show it's not about money, he has money and his mom isn't raising him alone so some lies right from the start :( I started ebaying with 14 and never did such bullshit..
I gave him a Fashion Style Celestia and one other, let me see if I can remember, oh a poor quality G1 Firefly. So 3 ponies total, and one of his responses to someone about me blocking him was "they were mad I didn't ship their package on time", when it was more of, "I'm upset you will never be shipping my package.". :blink:
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SoW, I am so sorry to hear that you had issues with positive_vibes! I can honestly say that I am only newly introduced to him myself, but I really would not have expected this news concerning his past transactions. I personally sold several ponies to him in person on Saturday at the Southeast Pony Meet and he never asked for freebies or discounts or anything else that I would have considered to be in bad form. He was obviously young, inexperienced and now that I know he has Aspergers it seems only too obvious. I personally found him to be pleasant and rather funny.
I am quite interested to see if anyone else posts having had any similar issues with him.
@KCherry and @MonstarNomNom
After learning that information from another attendee, his behavior and actions make much more sense to me now. I am not excusing his online behavior, since it did really upset me when it happened, but in hind sight it is much easier to move on past this transaction. I think if anything his parents need to be more involved in his interactions online if he is buying and trading ponies.
That was my thought exactly when I found out his age and that he had Asbergers. His parents should definitely be watching his online activity more closely.
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Just wondering, but did the OP directly tell him "That's scamming, you are stealing from me" after he said he couldn't ever pay for the pony? I know it seems super obvious, but some kids are honestly dumb and 'don't get it' until they hear it directly, lol. If the OP hasn't confronted him directly then my suggestion is: do that. Give him a chance to make things right. Say "Within one month I expect either Minty back, my trade pony (it was a trade, right?), or this amount of money in compensation." Something with a solid deadline, so he can't just stall. And if he doesn't make good, that's when you post to the Facebook group telling what happened, or whatnot.
I don't think sending a letter to his parents is a good idea. I think most parents would find it super creepy to know someone is looking up their personal information, even if their kid did something wrong.
I did confront him that it is stealing, that he made OP feel bad, that it is fraud/ripping of....I did tell he still can make things right and send his part. He said he "just wanted to send it that very day but Op didnt believe him" (so he just stopped?) then that he "didnt had the money" and in the end he just laughed a lot and told me it is not of his concern to send OP his part of the trade. And just like before he made a post about how mean it is to "accuse" him while he really wanted to send his part (but didnt).
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I just saw him on FB bragging about 3k followers on IG. I will be making a note to avoid/block him. So sorry to hear that happened to you Shelvesofwimsy, especially considering he is perfectly capable of NOT scamming people. -_-
Edit to add, I've had lots of friends on the Autism spectrum, and last I checked in the DSM-IV, "pony related kleptomania" isn't a symptom of Asperger's... :hmm:
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I've been speaking to his mom on FB. If I can get your address shelvesofwhimsy, I believe I can get your part of the trade sent.
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I just saw him on FB bragging about 3k followers on IG. I will be making a note to avoid/block him. So sorry to hear that happened to you Shelvesofwimsy, especially considering he is perfectly capable of NOT scamming people. -_-
Edit to add, I've had lots of friends on the Autism spectrum, and last I checked in the DSM-IV, "pony related kleptomania" isn't a symptom of Asperger's... :hmm:
Thank you @snapdragon, I totally agree with you. It shouldn't be used as an excuse for his behavior.
@ficklefae at this point I honestly don't feel comfortable giving my address out, and in my mind the trade is over. Even if I received the pony how could I enjoy it? When I still thought of this kid as a "friend" the pony would have been welcomed. But I honestly don't think I would want it now. The whole thing left a bad taste in my mouth. And since it is a custom it's not like I could sell it? :huh:
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I just saw him on FB bragging about 3k followers on IG. I will be making a note to avoid/block him. So sorry to hear that happened to you Shelvesofwimsy, especially considering he is perfectly capable of NOT scamming people. -_-
Edit to add, I've had lots of friends on the Autism spectrum, and last I checked in the DSM-IV, "pony related kleptomania" isn't a symptom of Asperger's... :hmm:
Thank you @snapdragon, I totally agree with you. It shouldn't be used as an excuse for his behavior.
@ficklefae at this point I honestly don't feel comfortable giving my address out, and in my mind the trade is over. Even if I received the pony how could I enjoy it? When I still thought of this kid as a "friend" the pony would have been welcomed. But I honestly don't think I would want it now. The whole thing left a bad taste in my mouth. And since it is a custom it's not like I could sell it? :huh:
I feel you -been ripped of ponys twice by people I considered as friends - one living right around the corner and one from hungary where I'm from. One just ghosted me out of the blue after having 5 or 6 ponies (we traded a lot and this was some trade in advance - we said she would give me tradeponies the next time she has doubles). Still see her from time to time on fleamarkets.To hungary I sent a huge package of like a dozen rare ponies (including jenny) and just the day she learned I havent used a trackingnumber she said it's lost but I saw posts about these ponys... was promised 2 alternate birthflowers in return :(
I too decided to stay sane and just think of those lost ponies as "a lesson learned" instead of fighting :(
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I don't want to come off as rude as I do want to help. But at this point, a teenage boy is being bullied and harassed over this. I know he did wrong. But they are trying to make it right. The white knights of the pony community are out in force. And we all know how that works, they won't stop until things are "put right". If you don't want the pony, then I'd suggest making a post on IG that you consider the trade closed and that for people to leave him alone. Otherwise it'll only get worse.
I'm sorry, none of his is your fault; but if you're unwilling to give your address, I think we all need to do some damage control.
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I feel extremely uncomfortable reading the last comment. If I were the OP, I would feel put under pressure and no longer safe on the Arena.
My opinion: If somebody is feeling uncomfortable about disclosing their address, not disclosing it is 100% the right thing. If somebody is not feeling well because of abusive communication, stopping any contact is 100% the right thing.
:(
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I'm not trying to pressure anyone. But a kid with issues is being bullied and that's not right either.
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I don't want to come off as rude as I do want to help. But at this point, a teenage boy is being bullied and harassed over this. I know he did wrong. But they are trying to make it right. The white knights of the pony community are out in force. And we all know how that works, they won't stop until things are "put right". If you don't want the pony, then I'd suggest making a post on IG that you consider the trade closed and that for people to leave him alone. Otherwise it'll only get worse.
I'm sorry, none of his is your fault; but if you're unwilling to give your address, I think we all need to do some damage control.
Firstly I never ever posted on IG about what he did, I want that to be very clear.
I posted here, and I told some close friends to watch out because of what happened to me.
Until today I had not heard from him. He did message me on IG and I think we have made peace. He apologized for what he did, and I made it clear I did not expect or want my package sent to me.
I've been contacted twice, once on IG, and once here for my address from people I do not know. I really do not feel comfortable giving it out at this time.
This whole post was meant as a warning, how people choose to react and act is not up to me. I'm sorry if he is being bullied, but to be fair I have been too before I even posted anything. I know it's different because he's only 18.
At this point I still consider this resolved and would recommend no one else confront him directly. He mentioned that he wishes to be left alone, so I don't think any further action is needed.
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Thank you hon. Hopefully this can be put to rest for everyone. I only contacted you for your address as a neutral third party. Not to make you feel uncomfortable.
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So it's "bullying" to hold a scammer responsible? Hm.
I'm glad that shelvesofwhimsy at least got some peace from this mess. If you're not comfortable giving out your address, could you have it sent to a neutral third party? Someone you trust not to be a creep, like an Arena mod? Just a thought. I wouldn't want a scammer having my personal address, either. XP
Edit because something just occurred to me; could he simply pay the cost of the estimated trade instead? Shelvesofwhimsy is made whole, doesn't have to give out her address, and everyone is left equal. Just a thought!
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I have been keeping up with this and though I do not want to involve myself personally I am a fixer. After chatting with a friend about it why doesn't the guy send payment for the value of the ponies to a PayPal account since shelvesofwhimsy no longer wants the custom or to disclose her address? I get the feeling that the other person wants to make things right and this gives him the chance to not keep more or less stolen ponies.
Post Merge: July 05, 2017, 01:16:42 AM
I am a fixer to a fault so please understand I am not taking sides. I do believe it was a trade that went wrong for one reason or another but I do not get the sense that the person in question is a scammer. He has had other successful transactions prior to this coming to light. I am not defending him not sending his part or returning shelves' ponies as in the end even with Aspergers you do know right from wrong.
Post Merge: July 05, 2017, 02:06:02 AM
Never mind. Spoke with the other person and this idea had already been offered and the decision was made to accept nothing at all (accept an apology). Apparently both sides have reconciled and are moving forward.
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I am glad he apologized :) Good both of you made peace :)
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So it's "bullying" to hold a scammer responsible? Hm.
Multiple people harassing a complete stranger on IG about a bad trade (especially after they know said kid has developmental issues) can absolutely be considered bullying.
At any rate, I'm just glad both parties are happy and the issue is settled.
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I don't want to come off as rude as I do want to help. But at this point, a teenage boy is being bullied and harassed over this. I know he did wrong. But they are trying to make it right. The white knights of the pony community are out in force. And we all know how that works, they won't stop until things are "put right". If you don't want the pony, then I'd suggest making a post on IG that you consider the trade closed and that for people to leave him alone. Otherwise it'll only get worse.
I'm sorry, none of his is your fault; but if you're unwilling to give your address, I think we all need to do some damage control.
A teenage boy isn't being bullied. People are coming forward with their stories of bad and good transactions of him, just as with any other trader who did wrong. They're also seguing into other stories of other transactions.
And posting his username is giving others a chance to steer clear of him. It's not as if the pony community is going out of their way to threaten him or saying terrible things like they do in toxic YouTube comment sections.
Having Asperger's doesn't mean they're dumb or out of control or completely unaware of their actions. It certainly doesn't mean they're allowed to get away with knowingly screwing people over.
If he doesn't want to play by the rules of trading that's entirely on him and he can take the consequences of being known at the very least as an unreliable trader and perhaps even banned from buying and trading if he keeps it up.
If you think blocking and wanting compensation or a return of said product is bullying, well i don't have anything positive to say about that particular mindset.
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So it's "bullying" to hold a scammer responsible? Hm.
Multiple people harassing a complete stranger on IG about a bad trade (especially after they know said kid has developmental issues) can absolutely be considered bullying.
At any rate, I'm just glad both parties are happy and the issue is settled.
To be fair - he (first) did made multiple posts for the world to see mentioning OPs name and calling her names and telling untrue stuff about her and the trade. So...you harvest what you sow.. and he isn't retarted or 8 years old or something that makes up for that.
He blocked OP so I don't think it is that wrong to (not multiple, he is exaggerating to be the victim as in his posts about OP before) confront him in case (as it was discussed here) he really didn't realise OP feels bad cause of this while always writing about support in the pony-community, not bullying others, being positive.. and while HE had the power to delete the comment about his behaviour, OP had no chance to delete the posts he made about her (they are deleted by now) so she was made helpless once again.. just my view.. if he is THAT challenged (as said by others) his parents should watch his online activities and protect him from any confrontation with a private account
Both talked to each other now and are kinda happy so maybe we better ask mods to close the thread? :)
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The issue is now closed both parties coming to an amicable agreement.
-Cherry