eaglesfan73 issue: Slanderous Seller

[Emfen]

Loa, the seller has seen this post and is trying to get into her old account to clarify this story, since she doesn't know what email she used I'll send you a PM with contact info. She asked me to help because of that.

[cirrusrose]

UPDATE: So I decided that this has hit the "point of no return" where the seller can't have a civil conversation with me so I sent this and here's her reply.

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She told me not to contact her again. So that's it, no happy ending.

I called eBay and the operator read through all the messages and told me that there were no instances where I was being abusive like the seller claimed I was. Abuse is a really sensitive subject for me and to be falsely accused as being an abuser was really upsetting for me.

Now I see the seller is trying to log into the Arena and I'm honestly concerned about her attacking me here too.

 

[lunar_scythe]

I think the main thing to remember from this is any time there's an issue with a purchase? Wait till you've calmed down before you email. Maybe write your email in a word program, *save it*, and go back to it the next day.  One day won't make much difference, time wise, in contacting a seller, but it give you time to rethink how you are wording things, you know?

If I'd gotten that email you sent to the seller, I'd have gotten pretty defensive myself!  I don't think I'd have gotten quite as upset, but then, I've never had an issue like that before so I cant say.  Pictures sent with the first email, showing the wrong accessories recieved,  may have helped, too.

[cirrusrose]

lunar_scythe, I completely agree with you. Thanks for your brilliant suggestion, I'll certainly do what you recommended next time I'm confronted with something upsetting.

[dragonstar81]

Another minor point to this: while you did ask for an extension on paying, your message to her indicated that you wanted to wait a "few" days. The PayPal receipt shows that you took 8 days to pay. That's a little longer than a few. Most sellers would be a little upset if it took that long and there was no other communication. Just for future reference.

As for how to proceed, I think it would be prudent to wait for the seller's response here. Maybe you can work it out. 

[cirrusrose]

dragonstar81, good point. I totally see what you're saying and I agree, I probably should have given a time frame. Honestly, neither of us were clear about our needs. In my defense, I did offer to pay immediately and all the seller had to do was ask.

Definitely will pay first from now on and just get the seller to hold onto both money and item.

[BabySunnybunch]

I was going to suggest sending an apology message to the seller because you were clearly heated about receiving the wrong items, but after reading the most recent message you sent to the seller, I think you've burned your bridge.

In the future, I would suggest taking some time to think calmly and rationally, and keep to objective facts instead of being accusatory. I'm sure it was not the sellers intention to send you the wrong accessories in hopes that you "wouldn't notice". I also did not see anywhere that you corrected yourself for assuming they overcharged you on shipping. I would be very frustrated if I were the seller.

The most recent message you sent to the seller was just pouring gas on the fire. At this point, I would wait before you consider contacting the seller again. Maybe post here first if you plan to message them again? That way you could get advice from the members here on how to be more approachable and less aggressive in your messages.

[silverdawn]

The one thing to be careful for about paying immediately when you want to combine transactions, is if the seller is what's called a "power seller".  I'm a power seller and for my auctions, ebay *requires* me to send purchases within 24 hours of receiving payment.  If I don't, I get an item transaction defect.  I'm allowed only 0.2% for ALL transactions.  That means for every 1000 transactions, I'm only allowed to miss shipping within 24 hours twice.   If someone pays in my auctions, sadly I must ship within 24 hours or risk losing power seller status and the significant fee discounts that go with it.  All of this is in my terms of service, and I make sure to let people know not to pay if they want to buy multiple items, but I do know it aggravates a lot of buyers.  The best thing to do is keep open and calm communication between parties at all times to help when transactions become difficult.

[Emfen]

The seller had been talking over facebook for quite some time about quitting ebay, she was excited a few days ago when she announced 'only 3 items to go and I am done'. This really made it all worse for her, because from what I've heard she have had quite an awful time in general with ebay/buyers/fees and I guess this is really it for her. I can't speak for her obviously, but the way she had been talking about her experiences she is just not having a great time at all as a seller and is ready to call the quits.

[LadyMoondancer]

The seller was right about that. I have no idea why the auction page has $22.75 listed for shipping (which is where I got the figure from). I'm thinking that's probably the Australian conversion displayed now.

It's an automated estimate from eBay calculated based on the seller / buyer locations and the weight of the package. $13.75 US Dollars is equal to $19.90 Australian Dollars.

[bluerose9978]

The seller had been talking over facebook for quite some time about quitting ebay, she was excited a few days ago when she announced 'only 3 items to go and I am done'. This really made it all worse for her, because from what I've heard she have had quite an awful time in general with ebay/buyers/fees and I guess this is really it for her. I can't speak for her obviously, but the way she had been talking about her experiences she is just not having a great time at all as a seller and is ready to call the quits.

As an ebay seller you must have a thick skin because there are buyers who are jerks for absolutely no reason. You just can't jump to conclusions and jump down people's throats as a seller. You have to try to keep eBay's customer service representatives on your side and ask for advice when you don't know what else to do.

Some people just aren't cut out to be in the customer service industry and you need to be to sell on eBay.

[cirrusrose]

silverdawn, thank you so much for that useful information. I was unaware of those eBay policies for Power Sellers. I will definitely check for that in the future. Congrats on your status though but yikes about the shipping time pressures.

LadyMoondancer, ah thank you for figuring that little mystery out! I was under the impression that both item price and postage were in US dollars on US eBay. Geez eBay makes it a little confusing by mixing it up with two different currencies depending on your location. Once again, thank you for your kind help.

bluerose9978, thank you for what you said. I completely agree. It's sad that a seller can be so jaded that when faced with a legitimate and honest accessory mix-up, they immediately jump to the conclusion that someone is out to get them. I hope the buyer of Princess Sparkle comes forward, because we have each others accessories and also they can clear the air.

Emfen, do you have a link to these Facebook posts at all?

[Rhubarbpie]

I don't think its fair to comment too much without the seller being able to defend herself.  I hope she can come here to help clarify exactly whats happened so this whole debacle is not so one sided. 

[cirrusrose]

BabySunnybunch, thanks for your message and thoughtful suggestions. I really appreciate them and I completely agree, my attitude in the email was not very constructive and I feel terrible about it. I am more than happy to apologize to the seller for my attitude. And you're right, I absolutely shouldn't have written the "wouldn't notice" comment. (I didn't know if she had swapped out items on purpose, which has happened to me in the past. Maybe not so much the damsel hat since their colors match, but because the comb was a completely different color I thought to myself "how can anyone genuinely make this kind of mistake?" That's all.) I am also more than happy to apologize for that comment too.

After five rapid fire messages from her where it appears to spiral more and more out of control... and the last one saying "next contact goes to eBay". I sadly felt there was zero attempts left to correct the situation and that she took it to a place where an apology would not help at all (otherwise I absolutely would have). I decided to cut my losses. It's not worth the drama... I no longer care about the items anymore.

A little background:
Some bad things happened to me and I had a nervous breakdown a while ago because of it. I have to think about my mental health and whether things are "worth it". When I have panic attacks now, they are actually so bad that I lose control of my arms and legs, have cold sweats, shake uncontrollably and I vomit, pee and crap myself all at the same time. It's embarrassing to admit, but that happened to me last night. After the breakdown I had to move home with my elderly parents, and I've been good for a long time, but my attack was so frightening for them that they called an ambulance.

It does take two to tango though, and I would hope to receive an apology for being labelled a scammer and an abuser of women. I have never been accused of being either in my life before, and that was incredibly hurtful too. eBay has already officially cleared me of any wrongdoings and abuse allegations. I hope you can understand where I'm coming from.

Post Merge: January 19, 2016, 04:58:55 PM

Rhubarbpie, I totally agree with you. Emfen has messaged Loa about helping her recover her Arena account so she can join in.

Meanwhile, she is "heating up Facebook" about me and no one will tell me where so I too cannot defend myself either.

[sweetbubbles]

Cirrusrose , I just want to say if it wont work out in the end I am a huge princess picks and wands horder (got a huge soup of them haha) and probaply have what you need and whe can trade  your incorrect colours for te right colours  (but let's first wait how it all ends and after that you can come to me and whe can swap so your princess ladys will be complete)  not sure about damsel hat need to see what I have double


Good luck on everything and most important of all take good care of yourself babe don't freak out