Going nuts on the swaps

[Sebby6]

So I'd really love to join a swap, but I'm getting a bit... dunno... nervous? when I look at the brag posts.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for spoiling your partner and I know sticking to a budget can be difficult, but seriously? Some of this packages are easily 3 or 4 times over the agreed spend.

I wouldn't like receiving a $50 box in a $25 swap, but equally I shouldn't have to feel bad for "only" spending $25 on a $25 swap

I know this has been addressed before and things went back to normal for a while, but now we seem to be back here again.

I'd love to hear your thoughts.

[Jordan]

Yeah I know what you mean
I'd love to do my first custom in a swap (I know it wouldn't be great)
But if I get tons of stuff and I only send out a pony and a few things I'd feel bad
My family's budget's getting low due to the fact we have so much to do around the house
to fix up. So I don't know. 

[Lorelei Redfern]

i would lvoe to do a swap. i'm  on a fixed income myself  (disabitly)  and i   dont have htat much to spend.  but to my knoledge if its  a  $15.00  swap  that you ahve to spend a minimum of 15.00 that isnt your  max amount. thats your minimum amount you should spend.  but as far as i know.. is there a cap? 

but yeah i would feel bad that  if i got into a swap.. and hte pther person was expecting a big grand box and ic ouldnt spend more then the  minimum.  and i got in a box that like  a 50.00 one

[elvenwine26]

Extras are nice but they shouldn't be expected I think.

[Gingerbread]

This is a HUGE thing for me in the swap I am in at the moment. The budget stretched to a custom or a couple of ponies. I am not a customiser. So I have spent out for customs and ponies, as I don't want to look like a cheapskate. I have yet to get extras and trying to find the rest of the stuff I need for the swap is proving way more expensive than I thought I'm on disability too, so I have very little spare cash.
This has been stressing me out so bad, it's probably the last swap I will do for a while until I forget the fact that I have to go way overbudget to keep up with everyone else and do another one!
I really hope my partner likes her parcel and isn't disappointed

[windsong]

I know how you feel... anytime I ever did a swap, I would always be a little anxious about the package I was putting together. I probably went over a little bit (as in, the max was $25 and I may have done $28-30), but I never went that far overboard. Sometimes there's that one last pony you're looking for and it costs $8 instead of $5, so you go over. *shrugs* Still, you're right. When you sign up for a swap, you should to stay within the limits. Otherwise you're going to make someone feel guilty for not sending out as much when they can't afford to.

I'm not sure what the solution is. Maybe it would be better to do a private swap with someone instead of joining a swap. Then you can make it clear that there is a limit and not to go over/under it.

[Enolaalone]

I can understand the problem with people going overboard, but everyone should definitely buy within their means and try not to get too worried about it. I'm sure anyone would be pleased to receive a box with lots of thought put into it, regardless of the amount of extras. Plus handmade things are lovely to get from anyone, so there's always that option if you are crafty.

[maycrestmom]

I've yet to jump in on swaps here, but what I can say from having done TP swaps - what I can tell you it is not just all about the amount of stuff... I got more back than I ever just gave in stuff = see the secret to the swaps is that we get by giving ;-)

when I posted what I received for one swap, I had no idea that my partner was going through a bit of rough RL time and that it was my post that helped her get thru the day - heck get thru her week if I am remembering right... but the point is I had no idea how helpful my bit of gratitude could turn out to be = I had no idea my partner was all worried she couldn't do alot but I had specifically put together a "keep it kid friendly, keep it simple" list and she came through with flying colors :-) and that when I read her reply, heck that was a whole 'nother round of getting a happy feeling from the swap :-)

not to be all corny and all, but really = just do your best - don't skip eating for a week to try to impress = just be thoughtful and really show you read thru your person's list and believe me, the happiness at the other end is guaranteed :-) regardless of the $$ spent - it's about the time and effort

anyhow, sorry for taking so long giving just my two cents worth = I hope everyone enjoys the swaps for the sake of what they represent - spreading the pony joy :-)

give what you can = everybody is in the same boat of wanting to please their partner.  We all come from a huge variety of backgrounds/abilities/jobs/incomes etc. but we are all united as amazingly generous (why else be in a swap) :-)

[Eternia]

I see what you mean. I have done quite a few swaps, and am always surprised at how...over-budget and stuffed some of the boxes are! While it is always nice to receive a box like this, it's a little nerve wracking when the box you've set isn't like that. Swaps didn't used to be about the huge boxes, and I do remember a time when all the boxes looked to be priced around the same. Lately though...man I just don't know, I guess more and more members have lots of extra disposable income.
Whenever I have done a box, it has always come out over budget. But it's usually twice the amount, or a little over the limit amount.

[NovelNerd]

I can understand this for sure. I'm new to swaps and just joined a few for the first time, and it's a little nerve wracking seeing such lovely things and knowing mine isn't as awesome. Then again just yesterday I realized on one box I've way overspent, but it was a bit of an accident.

I think the biggest thing to keep in mind is that overspending is alright if someone wants to do it, but it shouldn't be expected. If I overspend my budget on a box. I shouldn't expect my partner to do the same, and if they do that's lovely and sweet....but still. My fear is just that someone will be unhappy with the boxes I make because they don't look as snazzy as some of the higher budget ones. Maybe I'm being over paranoid though. 

[SourdoughStomper]

I can't speak for all swaps, but there's a limit on the amount you can spend on extras in the upcoming holiday swap. Perhaps that takes off some of the pressure?

[NovelNerd]

I can't speak for all swaps, but there's a limit on the amount you can spend on extras in the upcoming holiday swap. Perhaps that takes off some of the pressure?

That's actually really neat. I like that idea.
Will the holiday swap then have a limit for items and extras with a cap on each?

[NoDivision]

I used to try my best to stay in limits, but some circumstances are different. For example in this year's army swap, the organizer let me know that my partner had a fairly disappointing box the previous year, so I went over the top to make up for it. Then there are swaps like the advent swap, where I feel like for most people it is next to impossible to stay within budget because you are required to provide 25 days os gifts on a pretty small budget.

I think pony prices are also getting quite inflated, especially when shopping on a time frame. While it might be easy to be patient and wait for the right pony at the right price when buying for yourself, in swaps we often have to turn to eBay or buy overpriced ponies just to be able to find anything for our partners. So it's very very east to go over budget. I mean it's all very well to set a small spending limit, but in reality, it's often a struggle to get things in under the limit. And at the same time, I shop by VALUE, not by price. Because it wouldn't be fair to my partner if I could only find them one pony because it cost $20 when I should have been able to buy 4 because they're valued at $5 - so then you spend 4 times the limit in order to meet the value of the swap.

[stopxmotion]

From my experiences, I've had a hard time finding ponies that are cheap. If the limit is $15, I can usually find just one pony for that price (or maybe like $10 or $12) so if I wanted to send at least two ponies, I'm already over the limit.

I have to actually go shopping for ponies because I don't already have a collection that I can just dig into. I think that makes a difference as well. When you already have ponies your partner wants you can just estimate what the value is and it's probably a lot cheaper than going on ebay and buying one.

I've gotten boxes that I haven't been too thrilled with and others that I absolutely loved. I'm grateful just to participate. I'm sure there have been some things that my partners were not too excited about. How much stuff is in the box doesn't really matter.
I think for some swaps extras are not optional and I like that cause it's nice to get some candy or fun little trinkets as well.

[tulagirl]

Sorry this is long.

Well for me I can't stay in the budget because the budgets are impossible when you have to purchase ponies without flaws.

 I want to add here as I love to give big boxes.  I am a huge collector of many things, so how do you know how much a person spends just because the box looks over the limit?  You might not know that they thrift a lot and find incredible deals, or its part of their collection.  I have had to deal with very difficult to find high priced ponies,  and short wanted lists in past years that make it impossible to do a swap easily and in budget.

 Some people expect MOC, to me this is very hard on a partner in a swap.  It is about what each of us wants to give from our heart.
I think what has cost me more than anything else in swaps is poorly described that I have to rebuy.  I have this fear the pony will not please my partner.   I would rather over do it then get something they hate.  I have felt that way with a swap box before.  Thats not a fun feeling.
Some of us really love to do a lot for our partners because it makes us feel good inside.  Yea there is some swap pressure now, but I think if we could get some standard Arena rules for swaps where people can't ask for certain ponies on their lists, lists are long enough to reduce stress, and there is a standard condition everyone must use it will help a lot.  I think we need to have a standard amount of extras set for everyone or say no extras at all.    There are too many unknowns that make you concerned your partner will be disappointed.  We shouldn't make extras optional, either we have them or we don't. I think standard Arena rules should be placed on all swaps.

Then there is just the good decision to not do one unless I know I can give it my all.