The MLP Arena
Pony Talk => Off Topic => Topic started by: Zapper on September 21, 2019, 08:31:15 AM
-
This subject has been on my mind for a while. I noticed that things changed since I was a teenager and it was normal to chat up same-aged people and have a convo, get to know them. To add a bit of info, my teens are 13 years ago :lol:
I didn't exactly struggle before to meet new people because I was school hopping and had way more hobbies that required being part of a team or club or something. I also have a group of friends but they are scattered and not often available due to jobs, life, etc. I met most of them via school.
I sometimes meet new people via my friends (so, friend's friends) or at parties but I noticed real new friendships don't evolve from that. It seems like people are really lazy about communication these days (a lot of them hate to pick up a call, they just want to text and rarely meet in public?)
I also blame social media where people are just dumping their life and expect you to follow it and do your own research on them.
So... what do you specifically do to meet new people?
And... how do you approach people with intentions of friendship? Especially women seem to be really suspicious these days about being "creeped on" and I generally avoid talking to men that much because they might think I want to flirt with them.
Do you usually meet people at parties and it turns into friendship organically? Do you approach people at social gatherings? Teach me your ways :lol:
-
Well, have you tried meeting people through shared hobbies? If you like knitting, go to a knitting club. Mutual friends are a big thing. Libraries usually have programs on various things and I've had luck at those. I just crack jokes when meeting new people then introduce myself. I know they're just as nervous as I am, so that makes it easier.
It'll take a while. But you'll meet people you enjoy being with. I'm in the same boat as far as looking for new friends and it's been difficult.
-
It'll take a while. But you'll meet people you enjoy being with. I'm in the same boat as far as looking for new friends and it's been difficult.
Good luck to you then! I try to do the hobby thing but it's tough when the majority of my hobbies revolve around things I can do at home now.
It was different when I was still doing sports and theater but heh, I gots no money for that anymore. It all changed when my student status expired. I was doing a lot of things offered to students for a small fee, that really helped getting myself out there and seeing new faces.
Now I can be lucky if I see one of my friends once a week. There is no constant texting or sharing anymore. I never thought I'd miss being a student :P
I am looking for events where I can meet people and so far I have had luck with parties where I met cool new people but they didn't cross over to friend territory and I wonder what it takes? We are basically "party friends", that's so strange to me. Like we only see each other once or twice a month to dance. And there doesn't seem to be enough interest to do other things together.
I am also having some issues with age differences. I am bad at judging a person's age so sometimes I chat up younger people and they act creeped out like I was going "hello fellow kids" :lol: It's a bit of a mine field.
-
I'm going to follow this topic, as I have been wondering this myself. In severe need of some friends right now, but no idea where to look. Doesn't help that I'm still pretty much on bedrest for the next few weeks.
-
For me, the key was finding groups of people interested in the same hobbies and then attending meetups with them until some of us clicked and formed our own friend-group. It does take A LOT more work as a working adult than as a teenager or a college student.
Most of my local friends group came from joining a Facebook group dedicated to Transformers that had meetups. These days I have about six or seven good friends who I met from that, but we also do non-TF things, like this weekend some of us are going to an ice cream festival and next week we're going bowling. On average we meet about 1.5 times a month.
Keeping in touch and arranging to meet up: it is a challenge. A lot of working adults have complicated and ever-shifting schedules. "Oops, can't meet that weekend after all, I have a work event" (or relatives visiting or "it's my mom's birthday" or whatever.) In my experience the best way to arrange things, for a group, is either some kind of group chat (like Facebook messenger chat or Discord chat) or else email, where you CC everyone on the email. Also, Facebook events are extremely useful.
Text or phone is okay if you're arranging something with just one person. A lot of people do hate using the phone, and I'm one of them, lol. I really only answer the phone if I am expecting a call, like from the vet. Talking to someone in real time with no visual cues is awful.
Another good place to meet friends: Dungons & Dragons (or any pen-and-paper RPG). You might only be meeting with a D&D group once a week--or once every couple weeks in the case of my group, because we are so busy--but sessions last several hours so there's lots of bonding time. And you can almost count on something stupidly funny happening once per session, at the very least. If you've never played before, check your local game shops for Adventurer's League, which is the intro "drop in as you are" type session, no experience required. But for making friends, a "home" group is best.
-
Ah, the great mystery of adult life. :lol:
I short not a clue. My "friend" group consists of a few people I work with and we dont really communicate or see each other out of work. Art is my only hobby that probably has clubs that get me out of the house, but theres few where I live on at times I can get too, bar one where everyone is old enough to be my grandparent. (They are all lovely people though.) Facebook groups are a great way to meet local people who may have similar interest and want to have meets ups or what ever, but I'm personally behining to find with the things I'm interested in, I'm older than a lot of them and it just makes me feel like a wierd old lady -_- :biggrin:
I think, working age adult loneliness is a real thing, you lose all your teen/early adult friends and it would then appear you make none again until you retire.
Not exactly helpful, but I completely share your sentiment of HOW! How do you make friends???
-
I have the same problem. I have a few people that I consider friends at work but we never see each other outside of work. There is one friend that will sometimes text me if she notices I haven't been in for a while to check on me but otherwise no one contacts me outside of work. I don't like going to bars or clubs and I have even had to listen to coworkers talk about what they are planning to do together after work and no one ever invites me to go with them. I don't feel comfortable inviting myself to these activities they've planned together but sometimes I get lonely. I do have a few friends but were are separated by great distances so it's not possible to do something local with them.
Ponyfan
-
I have that problem as well. I have a few friends but are lucky if I see one once a month to be honest. I've tried two different things so far.
1) I downloaded an app that was like Tinder but for women seeking new friends and I chatted with some but it all just dwindled out. One woman wrote to me and did not like that I did not read and respond quick enough so she looked me up on facebook two hours later and wrote a message there as well. I was at work at the time and dont wear my phone so it was just a matter of hours and I thought that was a bit creepy that she could not wait and the more we chatted the more creeped out I became so I ended up blocking her and was glad my profilepic on both places at the time was me in Halloween costume so she would not recognice me. I kind of left the app after that.
2) I joined a facebook group for woman seeking woman friends where I also met up with a girl and it was nice and all but we didn't click at all.
Sadly, most women on both places want to meet over wine and go out and party, while I'm more of a nerd that likes to fika or just go for a walk. This was why the girl from the facebook groupl wanted to meet me as she felt the same, just so bad we didn't hit it off. I guess when two introverts meet and none take the lead it will go that way, but I am one experience richer at least :). I hope with some patience someone nice and fun will show up there.
Unfortunaly, meeting people in the gym or at work don't lead to friendships here. I swim a couple of times a week but never talk to the other ones there and the people at work are nice and all and we have fun together, but we just don't hang after hours, even during the yearly christmas dinner it just feels weird and off.
-
My way of meeting new people besides pony meeting and conventions is going to a social event that "connects". I am a member of a synagogue who organizes lots of events besides the regular services. I pick the event that I like and I have a good time with the people over there. But deep inside I also hope to meet that "special person" one day at such event :)
-
There is a website called Meet Up which is global for people to create all sorts of social groups for activity. I run a Shakespeare reading group through it but have previously attended other groups.
Hobbies are a brilliant way to make new friendships. After an abusive ex didn’t want me having friends outside of him, I found myself very alone once that relationship thankfully ended. I have many amazing friends now just from attending a local video game group six years ago. Look up every hobby or interest you have and see what is around locally that ties into it. You just have to put yourself out there to make it a possibility. Sure, many hobbies you can do alone or at home but the hobby is just the ice breaker to social situations.
Another thing you could try is simply telling the friends you have that you want to expand your social circle and do they know anyone that you don’t already that they think you might get along with. I think a lot of adults understand that making new friends as an adult is difficult so they wouldn’t have a problem helping you make new connections.
-
I have exactly this problem. I have no close friends at all other than some at work that let me tag along when they're doing something social. I don't talk to anyone I went to school with, as I was isolated then and when I went to college everyone knew each other already and didn't bother including me. I start a new job in November and hopefully will be going to uni next year so I hope that will help me.
I agree with the hobby groups thing, also maybe meeting people online, though obviously take the necessary precautions!
-
For me, the key was finding groups of people interested in the same hobbies and then attending meetups with them until some of us clicked and formed our own friend-group. It does take A LOT more work as a working adult than as a teenager or a college student.
Most of my local friends group came from joining a Facebook group dedicated to Transformers that had meetups. These days I have about six or seven good friends who I met from that, but we also do non-TF things, like this weekend some of us are going to an ice cream festival and next week we're going bowling. On average we meet about 1.5 times a month.
Keeping in touch and arranging to meet up: it is a challenge. A lot of working adults have complicated and ever-shifting schedules. "Oops, can't meet that weekend after all, I have a work event" (or relatives visiting or "it's my mom's birthday" or whatever.) In my experience the best way to arrange things, for a group, is either some kind of group chat (like Facebook messenger chat or Discord chat) or else email, where you CC everyone on the email. Also, Facebook events are extremely useful.
Text or phone is okay if you're arranging something with just one person. A lot of people do hate using the phone, and I'm one of them, lol. I really only answer the phone if I am expecting a call, like from the vet. Talking to someone in real time with no visual cues is awful.
Another good place to meet friends: Dungons & Dragons (or any pen-and-paper RPG). You might only be meeting with a D&D group once a week--or once every couple weeks in the case of my group, because we are so busy--but sessions last several hours so there's lots of bonding time. And you can almost count on something stupidly funny happening once per session, at the very least. If you've never played before, check your local game shops for Adventurer's League, which is the intro "drop in as you are" type session, no experience required. But for making friends, a "home" group is best.
Okay I second all of this.
I will add that you should really FORCE yourself to go to at least 3-4 "meets" before making any decisions about whether you are even enjoying it or likely to make friends. Even if YOU are completely comfortable around new people (fat chance) there is a 0% chance that everyone in that group is- and it will probably take at least that long for people to start acting more normally so you (and they) can simply get a better read and have more natural conversations.
DON'T give up if after the first meetup you felt awkward or shy- you have to try again until you are not feeling awkward or shy- it is only then you have a chance of actually connecting with anyone. Unless of course both you AND the other people are all just NATURALLY comfortable around all new people - which does happen but it is pretty dang rare.
-
I will add that you should really FORCE yourself to go to at least 3-4 "meets" before making any decisions about whether you are even enjoying it or likely to make friends. Even if YOU are completely comfortable around new people (fat chance) there is a 0% chance that everyone in that group is- and it will probably take at least that long for people to start acting more normally so you (and they) can simply get a better read and have more natural conversations.
DON'T give up if after the first meetup you felt awkward or shy- you have to try again until you are not feeling awkward or shy- it is only then you have a chance of actually connecting with anyone. Unless of course both you AND the other people are all just NATURALLY comfortable around all new people - which does happen but it is pretty dang rare.
YES. I felt so shy and awkward at my first few meetups with the aforementioned group. I think I cried at home after the first one because I was so stressed out. (Nothing "went wrong", but I felt overwhelmed and felt like everyone else in the world was good at Socializing except me.) But I kept going got used to them and they got used to me, and now I have a bunch of cool friends who think I'm cool too. :)
-
Meetup.com! I have made new friends who are writers, new friends who play table gaming, and new friends who are knitting, all through Meetup.com. :) You can put in the amount of miles you are willing to travel, and search by keywords to find people who have created groups and events local to you who are looking to have people join their group.
There's hundreds of groups out there. There are some groups who are like "women over 50 who want to get together and have lunch and chat" or "groups that want to see new movies at the theater together" or "groups that want to hike in a local park once a week". Alternatively, there are groups with specific goals, like DnD groups that meet once a week at a specific coffee shop, or a writing group that agrees to get together bi-weekly and edit each other's manuscripts.
The only problem is that meetup.com used to be free but now you have to pay to create a group, so that limits the number of events you're going to find in your area, especially if you're rural.
If you want to start your own group, you can also put in a rule that people should bring a couple bucks to each meeting/event, to help cover the cost of your group. :)
-
On a similar note, you have to really make a conscious effort to put yourself out there and talk to strangers. I spent most of my life terribly shy until I decided that I had to make myself change. I can really easily talk to strangers now which I use to dread and avoid whenever possible.
I started small by extending conversations initiated by someone else. If someone complimented my bag or something I wore I would say thank you and compliment them on something of theirs or explain where I got my thing or if I had an amusing story about it, tell them it.
I started saying more. Instead of “thank you”, I now say “thank you so much” or if the situation calls for it “thank you, I really appreciate you doing that for me”. I found it makes people really listen to what you say when you don’t say the default reply. Even if you never see that person again, use every human interaction as practice.
At social events with people you do know, try and talk to as many people you don’t know as possible. Even if other people are talking together, it’s ok to linger and insert yourself into the conversation when the timing is right. By hanging around with obvious “include me” cues, more often than not people will recognise this and let you in. Exclusively talking to people you already know or isolating yourself in a corner will never result in new friendships. It’s hard and awkward but you just have to put yourself out there and engage. If you feel like you have nothing to add to the current topic, change it or ask questions.
If it fails miserably (which is honestly unlikely), so what, you’ll probably never see them again and even if you do, they won’t remember it the same way you do. When I first started I would make myself a goal such as “when I go to church I will talk to one person I don’t know” or “I cannot leave until I’ve spoken to two people”.
-
I needed some time to read and process all these suggestions, so thanks :biggrin:
Facebook... I have no FB and I guess that's a big problem nowadays. But I simply hate this kind of social media. The FB I would have would be a fake name, private and no info, and since that is not fair to people I'd potentially like to meet it makes no sense for me.
Meetup wa ssomething I didn't know existed and I checked it out. In my region there are only tech and IT related groups and two for men, so... fail. Of course I could make my own but it really seems like the website is used differently here.
I am also an atheist and thusly not part of a church, so no church activities for me.
I guess most of us agree that meeting new people via a hobby or interest is best.
A thing I haven't tried yet is the friendship app thing. I am kind of tired of dating apps (too many weird and creepy people) but I will put it on my list. Maybe friendship apps are different. Any recs (that are used globally)? I only know of Bumble.
Honestly, I tried looking for platonic friends with that OkCupid option but the only people I got where liars who were secretly aiming for more "adult" things, so that's another reason why I have to rule out males when it comes to this :P
I don't think I am shy. I am just not a person who clicks with everyone. Some people drain my energy. Some types of people.
Even when they are nice, I can often not stand to be around them for long. So, for me it's usually easy to determine quickly if I get along with someone or not.
Like, I put up an inquiry for a Pen & Paper group and already got a number of people who are interested. The problem is all of them are dudes I disliked within half an hour :P I used to do P&P with my friends a while ago and I can't fathom sitting for hours with a couple of people I dislike. In case of P&P you can't just test it for a while and then bounce. Once people are starting a story it's a hassle for the gamemaster to write your character out again and I don't want that negativity, so the glove needs to fit immediatly.
Another nerdy hobby I used to have that I took up again for a while was LARPing. Also did that with my friends. New people I met were nice but most were horny/disgusting guys.
The search continues.
Of course... my dream group/hobby would be something that wouldn't cost me much. I travelled really far for that LARP so that's something that won't come back anytime soon.
Guess my only chance is to make a group myself and that usually brings the stress of being the coordinator. I need to think it through some more.
I have always dreamt of coordinating an artist meet-up to work on an exhibition together but I can tell you, people are so lazy. They require you to do everything for them. Even court them XD
-
Don't give up! Just because you haven't found the right place yet doesn't mean you won't. :)
I was going to suggest OkCupid, but sounds like you tried that. I always liked that they have the option for people who just want to meet up for friendship, but it doesn't work if they are pressuring you for more than that. Don't give up!
-
Don't give up! Just because you haven't found the right place yet doesn't mean you won't. :)
I was going to suggest OkCupid, but sounds like you tried that. I always liked that they have the option for people who just want to meet up for friendship, but it doesn't work if they are pressuring you for more than that. Don't give up!
Nah I'm not giving up. I am way too bored to just hang around myself. I need to meet people more than just once a week to power up my socializing battery.
Have you had any luck with OkCupid friends?
My issue is that a lot of women are shy or cowardly. They would rather not appear for meets or ghost me than say "hey, I don't think friendship will work out".
And guys are the opposite, they will string me along for friendship until suddenly they admit they are interested in "taking it further".
It's not like I am some kind of stunner but these men think friendship to a woman will always lead to more if they selected her on a dating app. Because d'uh, it's a dating app. Tork need woman!!! Tork hit woman with tree branch maybe then woman will love Tork. Good idea.
-
On OKCupid "looking for friends" is sometimes short for "looking for casual hookups." Just something to be aware of. I tried to find platonic friends on OKC for a while before realizing that, LOL. At the end of the day OKC is tough because it is a dating app and most people on it are looking for love, either long term or short term.
Edit: If you do strike up a conversation with someone you like, be bold about saying "Hey, you seem cool, want to trade emails?" (Or FB info, if you had Facebook.) I mentioned that FB group I met a bunch of friends through, BUT I only found the FB group because 1) a random guy on a bus said "Hey, you're reading the IDW Transformers comic? It's pretty good, isn't it!" and 2) I plucked up my courage and said "wAnT tO tRadE eMaiLs" in what felt like the most awkward way, and he was like "Sure!" And then instead of forgetting or losing his email like I usually do, I emailed him that weekend and was like "Wanna meet and talk about Transformers?" And we did, and after all THAT he mentioned the FB group.
I guess my point is be proactive because most people are not proactive, so do it yourself if you want it to get done.
-
Oh gee, now I feel silly, but yeah I can see how most people would probably try to use the "looking for friends" option as a way to subtly ask for casual stuff. :blush:
I only used OKC for a short time before I realized I was Ace and then I closed my account, but I had always been impressed with a dating app that had the option to say you're just looking for friends. I am a bit naive when it comes to unstated things... ^^;
Are you a reader, by chance? Some libraries and/or bookstores have a monthly book club where you all read the same book and then meet up once a month to discuss it. Might not sound that glamorous if you're not a reader, but at least it would give you a chance to meet a new group of people. And maybe after the book discussion is done you could strike up a conversation and see if anyone else has the same interests as you.
If you want to consider hanging out with people from your work after work hours, you could invite everyone to see a movie! I remember when I worked at Dairy Queen we would sometimes decide to go see a movie together, and they would pick a date and time and post it on the board in the back room. Then whoever showed up at the theater, showed up. No pressure.
@LadyMoondancer - You're so brave! Trading emails and making a new friend, I really admire you! :D
(I forgot what suggestions where in this thread before this so sorry if these are repeat suggestions ^^; )
-
Do you have a petting zoo nearby? Thats also a nice social place to meet people who like animals.
And no social media required to get in touch.
-
Do you have a petting zoo nearby? Thats also a nice social place to meet people who like animals.
And no social media required to get in touch.
This is a cute idea but I had free entry to my city's zoo for years (only place with petting zoo) and never met anyone worthwhile there. It's usually families, old folks and loner photographers.
I usually did sketches of the animals and often people would chat me up but only to ask why I was doing that. Last time I even had a condescending guy come up to me and be like "hey little lady, doing your homework?" and I deadfaced looked at him and replied "no, I am a 30 year old woman and this is my summer job" -_-
I know someone who met her boyfriend at the zoo, tho :biggrin:
Are you a reader, by chance? Some libraries and/or bookstores have a monthly book club where you all read the same book and then meet up once a month to discuss it.
(...)
If you want to consider hanging out with people from your work after work hours, you could invite everyone to see a movie!
I am starting to feel bad because none of your ideas apply to me but they are probably good advise for other people following this thread :)
I am not a reader and book club sounds like horror to me because it would require reading a whole book with a deadline in mind :lol:
I was part of a movie group but we disbanded because peoples tastes in movies were differing greatly. We were fighting all the time!
Also have zero co-workers rn because I am blessed with a home office. However, in the past I would avoid people from work after hours because I am always afraid once I know more about them I will dislike them and become unable to do teamwork with them.
I am starting to wonder if I am hypersensitive or something. Because being around people I hate literally makes me uncomfortable to a point I get physically sick and stuff. Talking about toxic work environments :lookround:
Btw I noticed I socialize a lot with people at fleamarkets. But just as well, it never becomes a friendship. I talk to many people and I am friendly with lots of them but it leads nowhere.
In theory, finding people with similar interests would be easy but turning that into a thing is the hard part. It also seems like people here simply don't want to make new friends because they have their little circle and that's it.
Maybe the stereotype is true and Germans really are more closed off than other people. I remember I didn't have these issues in Italy or the US where I was an exotic foreigner and everybody wanted to be around me :lol:
-
I associate with a lot of people but there aren't many that I consider to be true friends. I don't think that talking to someone twice makes us "besties" like some people I know.
Have you tried going to a Comic Con near you? If you're into "Nerd/Geek Culture" it might be a good place to run into people with the same interests that might at least start up a conversation.
Whenever I go on vacation to somewhere like Disneyland I always end up talking to people in line around me (assuming they're not glued to their FB page on their phone--so sad to pay hundreds of dollars to stand in line and look at your phone. I wonder if I could cash in on that idea...) and my friend met Vince Vaughn that way. So it might be worth a chat even if nothing more comes of it. You never know, though. You might run into someone multiple times and become friends.
Or you could do what one of my friends does. Her philosophy is "Hug a stranger, make a friend." :lol:
-
How about taking a class? I've taken jewelry making classes and writing classes- which all could have led to friendships if I had put any effort into it :lol:
-
Have you tried going to a Comic Con near you? If you're into "Nerd/Geek Culture" it might be a good place to run into people with the same interests that might at least start up a conversation.
I am not really into geek culture à la comic con.
I am into roleplay, costuming, acting, impro comedy kind of stuff so I do have an interest in cosplay and some of my friends are cosplayers. But it's not enough to spend a load of money to go to any of the big cons.
Or you could do what one of my friends does. Her philosophy is "Hug a stranger, make a friend." :lol:
LOL I hate getting hugged by strangers. Especially since they are always sweaty/stinky. No offense to your friend but that's my experience. Just people rubbing their smell on me :P
How about taking a class? I've taken jewelry making classes and writing classes- which all could have led to friendships if I had put any effort into it :lol:
Expensive. I took classes when I was a student because for students everything is cheap. That's why I yearn for these days.
-
I like to go to the local gaming store. My personal favorite is Magic the Gathering. But they also play Settlers and other random game selections. Two different groups get together to play a Wrestling card game which is so out there for me. But they get into costume, put on a wrestling show and break out the cards. Honestly, they look like they're having a ton of fun.
-
Or you could do what one of my friends does. Her philosophy is "Hug a stranger, make a friend." :lol:
Or "Hug a stranger, get a restraining order".
-
Or you could do what one of my friends does. Her philosophy is "Hug a stranger, make a friend." :lol:
Or "Hug a stranger, get a restraining order".
:lmao:
-
Socializing
Oh yes, that :blush:
Erm, I've heard good things about meetup, too
-
@Zapper, maybe a VHS class? Those aren't so expensive.
-
I would recommend volunteering somewhere that sounds interesting. Great way to meet people and if you don't like it, you don't have to go back. Have to agree with others, Facebook is a great place for social networking locally and globally. There are some great pony peeps on there!!
-
Maybe see if there are any free events happening in your area? One that i regular at is Karaoke, they do it every sunday at one bar, and every wednesday at another bar. me and a few friends from work try to hit them up a few times a month. I am stricktly not a singer lol, but weve become regulars and have made good friends with other regulars through this. Its a lot of fun!
I also try to find new learning experiences. my close friend and I did a Harry potter trivia/sign making workshop one night, and it was a BLAST, I didnt make any lasting friendships, but I did have a great time with a few nerdy strangers. :p
My last suggestion would be dating apps. Did you know theyre not just for dating? I use OKCupid, and you can set your status to just looking for friends, and I've made some actually really good friends through that app. We actually hang out in person fairly regularly.
-
I've made better friends with a co-worker because we both play Pokemon Go and since I have "Go" Friends that I met on the arena from places like Estonia and Australia and Finland, we can trade Pokemon that came from far away and battle each other to finish up various research tasks. Before I started playing we really didn't talk to each other at all.
So maybe you could try a game like that. I know the Harry Potter "Wizards Unite" game is similar and there may be others that fit your personal tastes better.
-
I am struggling with the same. I am 37 years old, and the only one of my friends without children. I am lonely, because no one of my old friends really have time with small children. I see them, but maybe once or twice a month. My solution was volunteer work. I signed up with Red Cross in my area, and got a lot of new acquaintances (no friends yet!) AND learned something incredibly valuable- first aid. That did a lot to me personally, and changed the way I looked at my own value. I recommend it! :heart:
-
I am struggling with the same. I am 37 years old, and the only one of my friends without children. I am lonely, because no one of my old friends really have time with small children. I see them, but maybe once or twice a month. My solution was volunteer work. I signed up with Red Cross in my area, and got a lot of new acquaintances (no friends yet!) AND learned something incredibly valuable- first aid. That did a lot to me personally, and changed the way I looked at my own value. I recommend it! :heart:
That sounds awesome!
-
I'll follow this as I have the same problem. I came out of college with only one friend who still lives nearby, and she's still 45 minutes away and has no time to travel because of her two young children, so we're left to when our schedules match up and I'm able to drive.
I've tried making friendships at work, but its hard to maintain them after the job ends. Plus, I am socially awkward, so I need to find people that have a tolerance for that.
-
It is hard meeting new people :)
I joined the gym just over a year ago and have made a lovely friend who I go to classes with :)
Love pkw xxx
-
Following due to the fact it's smoozy how I live in a small village where nobody is like me. I have an added complication as well which makes friendships even harder to make. I have no car & no licence either, so that is more smooze. I pretty much have nobody I see in person, & everybody I converse with I do so online.
It's getting to the point I'm starting to think "Friendship is magic, & magic doesn't exist in the real world" :(
-
I wanted to add: if you are nerdy and want to make friends with fellow nerds, add something nerdy to your apparel. I used to have a Cookie Cat messenger bag (from Steven Universe) and I had sooo many people strike up conversations with me. Same thing when I wore a Rodimus Star pin (from Transformers MTMTE comic book).
Pins are great if you want to be subtle about it, just add one to your backpack or whatever.
There are also quite a few people out there who collect older gens of MLP so you could also try a MLP pin. Lots of adorable retro ones on Etsy. And even if it doesn't work, hey, you'll have a cute pin. ;)
-
I think I'll follow this topic too. I'm 22 and I have the same problem. For me it's not so hard to find new people to talk, it's hard to find somebody who gets me and who wants to be real friends.
Hobbies and work are really great possibilities to find new friends. I didn't make any friends at my old work, but made one in a music school. That's better than nothing :) Sometimes trying something new and sharing it can help you find nice people.
-
I mostly found new friends at the barn, so yes, with a "public" activity you found people, and there's ok to speak with you because you share a common activity.
I'm a huge asocial and don't like to met new people, so I made friends via internet (they usually then, lives far from me - most of my friends lives far and we saw each other maybe twice a year or more with some luck), but it exist forums and group for your area I guess.
I'm ok with my way of living mostly alone now - I've lived a looong time with roomates, this helps too meeting new peoples in addition to makes your life cheapest. And if you've got at least one close friend in your area, you can try to met it's friends too.
-
Acmoore had Baking Classes,
Library's have lectures and Yoga Classes,
Bowling Alley have Teams
Bars have Regulars so you can meet people?
Otherwise, I'm not really sure...