The trivial complaints thread

[Kikwifluff]

I got five stitches in one of my fingers. Great start to the year   

[Loreofyore]

I hope you managed to have a happy new year anyway, Taffeta. Good luck with your thesis

As for my very trivial complaint, I really want to go outside and catch some bugs (y'know, to keep me company), but there are no bugs outside because it's winter. I guess I'll go see if there are any spiders in the attic...

You might have better luck starting a worm bin, worms do love leftovers. Spiders need live prey, & can't digest food without chemicals from fang. I assume you have ice fishing in Norway in winter so live worms should be easy to obtain and house, there's a ton of info on the web about worm bin husbandry in the home. If all goes well you'll have delightful garden compost from your pets. And if this wasn't a serious question cheer up, you evidently aren't the strangest person out there with such response at the top of my brain.

Post Merge: January 01, 2019, 09:55:05 PM

I got five stitches in one of my fingers. Great start to the year   

Aw! You know when my nerves are a pain I love those plastic flossing sticks rather than dental floss. You can mint or get tutti-fruiti kid flavors... this prevents the added toothache.

[StrawberrySundance]

Ordered something from Amazon on the 31st used my student prime to get next day delivery (In this case would be 3rd of Jan due to new year's etc) and it's supposed to be here tomorrow but it's still in the 'item ordered' process and hasn't moved to 'dispatched' yet and I'm getting a little worried, maybe I'm just panicking over nothing and will still arrive tomorrow or maybe my order hasn't been processed correctly??   



Edit: Turns out I was just worrying over nothing it's just been dispatched! (At 11:45pm? It's a bit late )

[Leave a Whisper]

I donated all my Maakies books to Samaritans and now I can never go to that charity shop again, because that one person who donated the numerous books full of absolute filth will be pretty flipping recognisable.

What?

It could just be me being paranoid but I donated some comic collections full of quite adult humour to a charity shop and now I'm afraid to go back to that shop, as I may be judged very harshly by the staff there.

[Taffeta]

Attempting to get new passport photos today. The machine ate my £5 note and refused to give me the photos. It did return the £1 coin, but now I am out £5 and still don't have any passport photos. As if it isn't expensive enough to renew a passport.

Also, I hope that by the time I actually get to apply for a new passport it won't yet be blue. Not that I have anything against blue, but I object to having a UK passport in blue on moral grounds.

[Leave a Whisper]

Attempting to get new passport uphotos today. The machine ate my £5 note and refused to give me the photos. It did return the £1 coin, but now I am out £5 and still don't have any passport photos. As if it isn't expensive enough to renew a passport.

Also, I hope that by the time I actually get to apply for a new passport it won't yet be blue. Not that I have anything against blue, but I object to having a UK passport in blue on moral grounds.

It sucks when machines eat your money.

[Beldarna]

I fessed up to myself that I have no friends really, so I got this app which is kind of like tinder but for women seeking friendships. One woman wrote to me almost immediately which made me so happy, but she's not written anything in a couple of days now so I think she didn't like me and I wrote to one who has not responded at all, but the message is read. Am I really that unlikeable?

[BlackCurtains]

Am I really that unlikeable?

I know the feeling. I have no local friends and the small number of online friends I thought I had disappeared after a while.

For what it's worth, I like you!

[Minty_Magic]

I fessed up to myself that I have no friends really, so I got this app which is kind of like tinder but for women seeking friendships. One woman wrote to me almost immediately which made me so happy, but she's not written anything in a couple of days now so I think she didn't like me and I wrote to one who has not responded at all, but the message is read. Am I really that unlikeable?

I don’t think you’re unlikeable at all! I have the same problem, I have maybe 1 or 2 close friends and would really like a slightly larger social circle. I’ve tried apps like that too with the same results. I don’t think it’s you as much as the platform itself. It seems like after the first conversation on social or meetup apps, the conversation always dies or the other person dissappears. My other close friend has had this same problem too, so I don’t think it’s you, or any of us at all! I genuinely do wish there were better meet up apps for meeting new people.

[invaderhorizongreen]

I have pms, grr just in time for the new year.

[Ponyfan]

I think I have a cold. I’m trying to save the cost of a drs visit because he would tell me that antibiotics won’t work against colds.

To everyone that feels unlikeable, you are not alone. I also have the same problem. I’ve tried to make friends with coworkers but it doesn’t work out. I have a few online friends but they live too far away to do stuff together. I’m sure we’re not unlikeable.

Ponyfan

[Loreofyore]

Back in the day Care Bears used to say "...the best way to make a friend is to be a friend yourself!" translated to the adult world the trick is to not come on to strong but to just be friendly and patient because after you've known a bunch of people for a while the friendship just happens and comes to you without deliberate effort.

 Volunteering in person as opposed to signing up to an online service is the best way to meet people... for one thing it doesn't cost you anything, for another you aren't all anonymous and therefore people shy-of you... you get to see what each other like in real world over time, also volunteering you meet more caring people to start with & they see a good side of you.

Don't be hard on yourself, making friends only happens instantly when people are still kids and haven't really had much broken hearts so humans trust openly when young. It's just that way, nothing personal about that disconnect as people age. Problem is a lot of us (me once: some of us never get to be around our peers at a certain age and) get pretty isolated on our way so that don't see the changed way to make new friends evolve in our peers... like most of them see while growing up. You probably just missed that memo like me.

It goes like this: Don't push anyone for friendship (often spooks & ruins simply because some people are controlling instead of merely lonely) but be nice to people you don't know remembering to listen and respect their own friends as well, don't chase people who take advantage of you either just be cool with yourself but nice to everybody in the group... in a few years you'll have so many opportunities you'll have to turn some new people down so you can spend enough time with the friendships you are able to keep... adults have only a fraction of free time we did in youth so loved ones come fill, but people move away, change, get busy, from time to time you'll find someone who has that empty space and help them fill it... that's how friendship changes later in life.

Normally takes years of being in the same people in a community (safer to get to know adults in a group than 1-on-1 like you could just do back when everyone who asked to be your friend was actually 7 so quicker to make friends in a community as well) and showing you play nice with everybody even the grumpy ones and that you don't intend to isolate anyone else from their other friends. After that you just connect with other people because of who you both are finding the group members that you've the most stuff with in common, but after a group knows you well in person you've simply more options open.

Anyway in person among a group is the best way to learn about them too, they could otherwise pretend to be anybody to you too.

Post Merge: January 04, 2019, 09:46:36 AM

I think I have a cold. I’m trying to save the cost of a drs visit because he would tell me that antibiotics won’t work against colds.

To everyone that feels unlikeable, you are not alone. I also have the same problem. I’ve tried to make friends with coworkers but it doesn’t work out. I have a few online friends but they live too far away to do stuff together. I’m sure we’re not unlikeable.

Ponyfan

Work and school are always harder groups to make friends in because being around is not by choice... the bullies remain and the others are more shy of everyone knowing they can't leave. I think that is why it's usually easier to make friends after volunteering a few years, because if people don't like a volunteer job they give their notice and then they go without risking anything they need to survive. Lower stress on everyone, more relaxed.

[Beldarna]

Black Curtains, Minty_Magic and Ponyfan, thank you. To be honest I've never really had any close friends either. I do have one I consider my best friend, but she lives an hour away into the woods with her husband and two toddlers. When we meet and talk we can get on for hours, but between those rare instances (which happens maybe once a year), there's a text or email from her once in a blue moon.

Another I considered close never messages me, really. It's always on my initiative and then she squeeze me in somewhere between other stuff so I always feel like a burden. It's really rough, to be honest.

To be perfectly honest, at work I am never alone in that sense, there is always people I can chat with and hang with. It's outside of work, during weekends and Hollidays they're lacking. During Christmas, none got in touch to wish a Merry Christmas. None who asked for my plans of New Years. No one who invited me to join them when they found out Hubby was gonna work. When I've asked people about their plans they have no problem telling what they're gonna do, but none ask me back or invite me to anything and I'm not one who invite myself to stuff so I always end up alone. It's the same as it was when I was a kid/teen in school.

Lorefyore, I find your answer rather offputting. I'm not sure if that is your intent but it is how you come across. I am neither pushy, chasing or disrespectful. Neither have I ever said I think it should be all about me. Also I volunteered at the Red Cross once a week for a year, and didn't get any friends there either.

[StrawberrySundance]

Got to wait until Monday to book a doctor's appointment, I've been ill for about 5 weeks straight now and it's just getting worse by the moment. I'm constantly coughing, feeling dizzy, being sick etc., I couldn't even get out of bed this morning.
Ugh I wish I didn't feel like this, I've got to go back to the nursery/college Monday 

Also Moodle is being funny again, apparently my username or password is incorrect, I've tried everything and I know exactly what my username and password is- it kinda sucks when there's information I need to be able to complete my work on there 

[Loreofyore]

Never said every volunteer job is better if folk only wait it out, I said people not happy can give notice and find better.
The Red Cross is practically a for-profit corporation serious...
https://www.propublica.org/article/red-cross-ceo-has-been-misleading-about-donations
I don’t know how long you’ve been carrying not befriending anyone from this shiny organization around as a proof of how hard it is for you to get friends in life but I’d stop underestimating yourself there and let go of that one.  Even without the funding issue to upset the volunteers with the decency to hate the funding thing... that had been around long enough to know of the funding controversy (almost certainly longer than a year) making these perhaps rightly cynical about the social environment they’d been in, there are the recurring natural disasters themselves, more stress and exhaustion in the core than at most workplaces. Then there are empty people more like the CEO who maybe have a lot prop friends to show off and flaunt for pictures. Take it as a compliment any time those types skip you.

I think this goes to show why I don’t think people online simply trust people online enough to get anywhere with other online strangers.You could have just said nah, not getting the memo it’s not affecting me…but socially I think you did a little bit of a different thing there… hard to read it. What is clear is that you skimmed my post and have utterly re-summarized for whatever reasons.

One day I hope you won’t be posting to boards anymore asking if you are unlikable… stop judging yourself by online strangers, some of the worst bullying incidents online aren’t even a group of humans they are bot programs that a single bad person or biased interest group set upon somebody who was actually getting popular for doing what is right and good. I could find a link but couldn’t post one here those targets who make news are too political for the mlparena site.

Meanwhile even Facebook, it like experiments on users without their knowledge in attempts to sometimes make them sad:
https://www.forbes.com/sites/kashmirhill/2014/06/28/facebook-manipulated-689003-users-emotions-for-science/#582d46b6197c

If I could go back in time and give it to myself when I left home, the memo would have helped me skip a lot of painful people and self doubt. And because I had to learn the basics when I could remember them, I remember some things I think others forgot with childhood. Not every gift folk need, but sharing pain and awkwardness for others… it’s usually meant as one no matter if loved or scorned that.
 
I meant you to internalize less than you are doing here. And I wish you luck and happiness in your life.