The Trivial Complaints Thread ... #3

[Ponyfan]

Shockponie, I'm so sorry that happened to you and you're suffering because of the rumors.     In my opinion, the girl should have said something to someone about her allergy.  If there were PayDay's and other candy bars with peanuts in them anyone that was eating one might have caused her to have a reaction.   A polite "I'm sorry, but I'm allergic to peanuts and can't be around people eating them" from the girl would have gone a long way to prevent what happened.   


Ponyfan

[BlackCurtains]

WTH? I'm with Ponyfan. She should not assume everyone knows about her allergy. She should have said something or removed herself. That is not your fault AT ALL, in my opinion.

[shockponie]

Thanks Ponyfan & BC.
I was just thinking… If you have an allergy to airborne peanut particles, shouldn’t you carry an epi pen? Well, I know that’s easier said than done with the healthcare climate sometimes… But we were all supposed to fill out a survey regarding our sack lunch choice and/or allergies as well. IDK, I feel terrible that I set her off. I’m not some monster like people are acting. I just have to wait until it blows over. Sadly, that’s the first impression some people will have of me. 

[Ponybookworm]

Shockponie, HOW were you expected to KNOW what nobody TOLD you??? I just don't get it at all!!!

[Taffeta]

On the heavy political subject, I think that the fault is less with religion and more with human beings. Human beings are at the root of most problems. They just hide behind beliefs which they warp in whichever direction suits their politics at any one time. And then they give whole groups a bad name because of their individual actions. And other people thus suffer for it. And so the vicious cycle begins again.

Murder is just murder, at the end of the day.

@Shockponie, I'm sorry about what happened to you. It's one of those things that if you had known before you would've acted differently, but you're not a mindreader. Also, we're back to what I said above about human beings as the cause of most problems. It's easy to jump on a bandwagon and whisper and accuse someone else - less easy to be the someone else but they don't care about that. So long as it isn't on them, right?

This is going off at left-field but I recently finished a Japanese audiobook, in which the female MC decided she would rather spend time with the male MC (because he acknowledges himself as a bad person) than with the group (who are all 'good people'). Her logic is that the male MC is willing to do necessary but unpopular things that the others shun and take the burden of it on himself, even if it makes him an outcast. Whereas the 'good people' are happy to sit back and let someone else take that burden, so that they can continue to think of themselves as 'good people' and not be tainted.

I get very frustrated with people sometimes.

...So back on topic. to everyone who's been having a hard time.

[Pokeyonekenobie]

Shockponie, that was definitely ALL on that girl and not on you. 

I work in the same office as someone with a nut allergy.  She has made it perfectly clear that she is allergic and she wasn't rude or anything.  She just stated it as fact when I asked her what kinds of treats she liked one day.  Everyone where I work knows she's allergic and sometimes the director will bring in treats and deputize me to check them for nuts, which I don't mind.  I usually just look at the girl and tell her she can't have any if there are nuts.  The first time I did this someone thought I was being terribly rude until I explained that it had nuts and I didn't want to kill her. (We even occasionally joke that if she wants to leave early I have a peanut butter M&M she can lick.)

If the person who sat next to you didn't say anything or choose to change seats, that is on HER. Were the seats assigned?  If not, she made a choice, and if they were assigned, all she had to do was ask her supervisor to move her.  And making you the scapegoat is probably something she's doing for attention.  Obviously your co-worker that brought nuts to snack on didn't know either so that shouldn't be all on you.  And if any of your other co-workers knew and didn't say anything, that's also on them.  Silence doesn't excuse them.  Any one of them could have slipped you a note if talking would have interrupted the presenter.  They're just as guilty by refusing to speak up as the girl who caused the issue by keeping her allergy a secret.  And if her supervisor knew she was that allergic, they should have banned all nut treats/products instead of providing them to you.

Perhaps you ought to bring it up with her supervisor (and yours) and tell them that you didn't know and that she never said anything so how were you supposed to know?  And maybe bring up how rotten everyone is making you feel for blaming you for not knowing.  That's creating a hostile work environment for you and it shouldn't be tolerated.

And the response to “Hey, are you the one who gave that girl anaphylaxis?" should be "No, I ate the provided snacks.  She gave it to herself by not saying anything about her allergy."

[Ponyfan]

And if her supervisor knew she was that allergic, they should have banned all nut treats/products instead of providing them to you.

I was wondering this too.  Where I work peanut/nut free areas are clearly marked with signs saying that they aren't allowed.  If there's no sign, then it's assumed it's okay to have them in the area.


Ponyfan

[BlackCurtains]

Yes, I agree with that too.

I'm sitting here waiting for the dryer to get done with my blankets. I've had a headache all day and every time I get up, I get dizzy. I think I might have found the cause though. I was refilling my weekly medicine container and found a bottle way in the back of the drawer. It was one of my heart medications. I've been out of it for at least a week, maybe more. I take so many pills it's hard to keep track of them, and the heart medicines are all very similar. They're all white, two are round and two are oblong. So now I am thinking that this headache and dizziness, which is almost like a blackout coming on, are because I've missed this medicine. I'm not sure what that one does. It's not the Plavix, I know that.

I called it in along with another medicine I'm almost out of. The pharmacy stopped delivering on weekends recently, so I hope they come tomorrow.

[Beldarna]

shockponie, besides what everybody else has said, I'm thinking the organisers at the venue should have some responsibility as well. You filled out a survey about food/allergies and yet they had candy bars with penuts up for grabs for everybody. If this woman missed to fill out her allergy on the form, thats on her but otherwise, the organisers should have removed those bars the minute they read about the allergy. Or, if the woman passed the table and saw the bars, she should have allerted staff. They are not mind readers.

I've been to a number of meetings and coneferences and we always have to let it be known days or even weeks beforehands of allergies. Even now at my current job with layovers we are expected to contact the hotel with our allergies before departure. When I worked at a movie theater people with peanut allergies would come up before their show and tell us about it and ask us to inform other guests about it so no one would eat peanuts in the theatre which we did. I've had new coworkers who the first thing they said before even saying hi was to inform of the allergy. I mean the person with the allergy has a huge responsibility. Sorry fot the rant but I feel so angry on your behalf.

You did nothing wrong so keep your head high.

[Beth3346]

i'm so confused about why she didn't say anything and why there were so many snacks with nuts in them around. this doesn't seem like it's your fault at all. i'm sorry your co-workers are being jerks.

[shockponie]

Thanks everyone! You’ve provided some helpful insight (as well as useful info on how other organizations handle allergies). I talked to my supervisor about it on Monday morning (which was the next business day because he was very busy in charge of AV), and he’s an older man (of the Boomer generation) who just told me to forget it, grow a thicker skin, and she probably made it up (which I find deplorable. Why would she?!). In my immediate department, I’m the only female, and the sexism is palpable. I often deal with this terrible attitude (and HR doesn’t care, so I’m trying to make an exit plan). I’m trying to see the whole ordeal as a learning opportunity though. I refuse to become calloused and dismissive; that’s not who I am.

As for why she didn’t say anything: I was told by her supervisor it’s because she’s too shy. At any rate, I won’t see her often (only when I visit her site ~twice a year), so I’ll know to take precaution in the future.

[BlackCurtains]

I'm sorry you have to work in that kind of environment

My new complaint is my PC has an error and everything I've tried so far hasn't fixed it. I've spent the last three hours trying different things I've found online. I keep running into other problems too. Like I'm trying to make a Windows media install on a USB using my mom's old laptop (that I'm on until I can fix my PC), but after a looooooong time it says it can't be installed Also I can't seem to boot my PC into the BIOS. I did it once. I don't know what key I hit though, was smashing them all.

[Pokeyonekenobie]

As for why she didn’t say anything: I was told by her supervisor it’s because she’s too shy.

Again, that's on her, not you.  And if her supervisor knew she was too shy, they could have stepped up and helped her find a safe space to be in instead of giving you nasty looks.  I have friends who are extremely shy and allergic to things.  But they also know that if they don't tell people they're allergic to things they can die.  So they have to make a choice to either be uncomfortable for a 30 second conversation or potentially die.  If her shyness is keeping her from staying alive, it's something she needs to see a therapist about and is still not your fault.

I have little patience for people who use shyness as an excuse.  I was so shy in high school I asked my teachers not to call on me even when I knew the answers because I couldn't speak in front of my classmates.  I saw this as an issue and found a way to work on it.  I chose to take theater classes and forced myself to do the work.  So other people can do the same.  I know it sounds callus but people need to learn to handle their problems instead of waiting for everyone else to magically know how to cater to their every whim.

That's actually part of my trivial complaint.  I was at choir practice last night and one of the ladies brings her kids, which usually isn't an issue, except that one of her children was throwing a holy terror of a tantrum because their "favorite show" was expired and she couldn't watch it again.  Seriously, ten minutes all out bawling over a freaking tv show that wasn't downloaded on her personal tablet anymore.  The kid is probably 8 years old, certainly old enough to entertain herself except that she's clearly been catered to her whole life instead of being forced to handle being uncomfortable for a few minutes.  Pulling out the "when I was your age"--we didn't have personal tablets, shows had commercials, we couldn't 'watch it later' and if we had to be somewhere for a long time, we brought a book or a coloring book and crayons.  I get so sick of listening to kids cry over having to do anything but watch a screen.  That's the true zombie apocalypse: people glued to screens and not capable of thinking of anything for themselves.  And I know some of you are going to throw out that maybe she has anxiety or autism but she doesn't.  They come every week so it isn't like it was a new environment or experience, she was just throwing a temper tantrum at not having her way.  And her mom missed part of rehearsal downloading things to her device for her instead of making her deal with her feel bads and telling her to pick something else to watch.

[Ponyfan]

I'm allergic to latex.  While it's true that I don't mention it most of the time I will make sure it's known if necessary or I'll avoid things that I know have latex in them.  When I'm getting blood drawn, I always tell them that I'm allergic.  I make sure not to touch balloons even if others are.

My dad keeps telling me that my nails are too long.  I got gel nails for the first time and went with short ones.  He keeps saying I should have gotten extra short instead.   

He also decides to do things when he knows we have something else to do.


Ponyfan

[BlackCurtains]

So after trying all day, I think I made my PC worse by hard resetting it too much. Now it won't boot past the MSI logo screen and the drive is making a crackling noise. Also, when I shut it off and wait a minute then turn it back on, the CPU is going like full blast and it's very hot. I unplugged it from the wall and that seemed to help that part at least. Guess it was storing extra power. But anyway, I'm done in. I called a local place and it's going to cost $115 to fix it. Luckily, I already have everything backed up so I don't have to pay for that.

Oh and now, because life doesn't dump on me enough, my mom's laptop that I'm using is having some problems too. It can't download one Windows update and keeps popping up I need to retry, which I've done... again, all day. It errors each time. Also I can't get the snipping program to work to take screen shots and can't find a print screen button on any of the function keys, so I had to take pics of the screen with my phone which is LAME.

I'm really stressed out My birthday is on Sunday and I don't have Uber money to visit my mom and there isn't anyone else here anymore It's my first birthday without my dad. He was always a great card giver. I've saved all his cards. Knowing him, he would treat me to a meal and give me some money.