The MLP Arena

TCB => Trader & Shipping Support => Topic started by: Duenia on March 26, 2017, 05:20:11 AM

Title: Am I wrong to be upset?
Post by: Duenia on March 26, 2017, 05:20:11 AM
A seller posted some ponies stating that they were selling based on who asked about them first.

Within 10 minutes of them going up I asked about 4 of them.

They inform me that someone has already asked them to hold one of them, and place 2/3 of the remaining ones on hold. By the time I see this they've already agreed to placed the third on hold for someone else who asked 2 hours after I did, against their own rule for how they're handling their sales.

I'm pretty upset, but am I wrong to be? I mean I know they can sell to whoever they want. But if they're going to post how they're handling it shouldn't they follow it?
Title: Re: Am I wrong to be upset?
Post by: lovesbabysquirmy on March 26, 2017, 09:06:57 AM
First come, first serve means exactly that.  It doesn't mean the first person cannot ask for them to be held - if the seller feels that is appropriate, they do have the right to do that. 

Yes it's annoying but I am sure you have been in a seller's shoes before when multiple people are asking after your sales. 

*pony hugs* Another one will come up, I am sure of it!  If collecting for 33 years has taught me anything, it's patience when you're looking for THAT pony.
Title: Re: Am I wrong to be upset?
Post by: Duenia on March 26, 2017, 09:09:27 AM
First come, first serve means exactly that.  It doesn't mean the first person cannot ask for them to be held - if the seller feels that is appropriate, they do have the right to do that. 

Yes it's annoying but I am sure you have been in a seller's shoes before when multiple people are asking after your sales. 

*pony hugs* Another one will come up, I am sure of it!  If collecting for 33 years has taught me anything, it's patience when you're looking for THAT pony.

I'm not upset about the one that where the first person asked for the pony to be held. They got there first and that's fine with me. I'm upset about the one where I did ask first by 2 - 3 hours and they agreed to give it to the person second in line.

Pony 1: Someone asked first
Pony 2: I asked first and they agreed to give it to someone else
Pony 3 and 4: I have a hold on
Title: Re: Am I wrong to be upset?
Post by: tulagirl on March 26, 2017, 10:21:02 AM
I think this just happens and to be honest, sellers can sell to buyers they wish and can place items on hold as they wish.  It is upsetting to not get the response from a seller one feels is fair.  It has happened to me.  Once it happened and I ended up getting the ponies after all.  I would just try to remind yourself that ponies are available all the time and if not these you will certainly find your ponies sometime.  Things can seem unfair or even be unfair, but I don't think any rules for selling have been broken here.  By the way your posts read it almost sounds like you know for certain you were second in line. Did they seller tell you that?  Or did you assume that based on the time?  I can tell you that time means nothing.  I have listed items online and gotten 5-10 responses in ten minutes before. I thought my head would twist off.  Sellers do their best.  I may not be understanding what is upsetting you well. I am a bit confused but, try to just look for your other ponies in other places. They will turn up.
Title: Re: Am I wrong to be upset?
Post by: Khayman81 on March 26, 2017, 10:22:43 AM
Unfortunately seller can choose whether or not sell it to a person. Still if it is like that don't put rules you are going to trespass

I hope lovesbabysquirmy is right because Mimic is the only left from my list. The others are secondary.
Title: Re: Am I wrong to be upset?
Post by: Leave a Whisper on March 26, 2017, 10:30:06 AM
It would certainly be annoying. I don't quite understand why you got the shaft for a person who asked a few hours after you. I simply wouldn't buy from that person.
Title: Re: Am I wrong to be upset?
Post by: Duenia on March 26, 2017, 12:04:18 PM
I think this just happens and to be honest, sellers can sell to buyers they wish and can place items on hold as they wish.  It is upsetting to not get the response from a seller one feels is fair.  It has happened to me.  Once it happened and I ended up getting the ponies after all.  I would just try to remind yourself that ponies are available all the time and if not these you will certainly find your ponies sometime.  Things can seem unfair or even be unfair, but I don't think any rules for selling have been broken here.  By the way your posts read it almost sounds like you know for certain you were second in line. Did they seller tell you that?  Or did you assume that based on the time?  I can tell you that time means nothing.  I have listed items online and gotten 5-10 responses in ten minutes before. I thought my head would twist off.  Sellers do their best.  I may not be understanding what is upsetting you well. I am a bit confused but, try to just look for your other ponies in other places. They will turn up.

I'm not second in line, based on time stamps I was first in line by 2 - 3 hours. I know who the buyer is and can see when they asked for what's supposedly first come furst serve. There also are timestamps to prove that my message was received and red before the other person asked.
Title: Re: Am I wrong to be upset?
Post by: Haruna on March 26, 2017, 07:21:41 PM
Yeah, I'd be annoyed, too, Duenia. The seller should follow their own rules. :/ On the bright side, maybe the pony currently on hold will come off hold and you'll get all three you wanted with no problem; it could still turn out okay. :hug: Even if that doesn't happen, just let it roll off your back and keep looking for that pony elsewhere.
Title: Re: Am I wrong to be upset?
Post by: heathersmoo on March 27, 2017, 06:39:25 AM
I think you're right to be annoyed.  I would be.  Like everyone else has stated, there's not much you can do other than hope someone ahead of you drops out or that you find them elsewhere quickly.  Good luck!
Title: Re: Am I wrong to be upset?
Post by: Duenia on March 27, 2017, 06:42:35 AM
I'll be looking elsewhere. I opted not to deal with the seller.
Title: Re: Am I wrong to be upset?
Post by: tulagirl on March 27, 2017, 08:38:40 AM
 I think it was really good you just found another seller.  That is what I would do.
Title: Re: Am I wrong to be upset?
Post by: heathersmoo on March 27, 2017, 08:41:33 AM
Smart decision, Duenia!  I'd do the same.


OT but Tulagirl!  How have you been!?! Great to "run into" you here :)
Title: Re: Am I wrong to be upset?
Post by: Em_L._Pea_Customs on March 27, 2017, 08:47:13 AM
I would just mention that you don't really know when (or if) they private messaged the seller, correct?  There have been times that I will message a seller and maybe not post in the thread until later.  Heck, most times I don't post in a seller's thread and ONLY send a PM.  I think most sellers want their buyers and fellow members to be happy and have a positive experience, so hopefully this was just a misunderstanding (although the seller can do whatever they choose with their sales).  Good luck! :)

ETA:  How long did it take you to respond to the seller's PM?  This is first come, first serve, but if you didn't respond within a period of time and they had someone who was willing to pay immediately, it makes sense that they would sell to someone else. 
Title: Re: Am I wrong to be upset?
Post by: Duenia on March 27, 2017, 09:49:55 AM
I think it was really good you just found another seller.  That is what I would do.

I actually haven't found one yet. They were actually the first person I'd ever seen to put these ones up for sale. But if they're going to handle things the way they did I don't want to deal with a potential issue down the line if I had gone through with the transaction.

I would just mention that you don't really know when (or if) they private messaged the seller, correct?  There have been times that I will message a seller and maybe not post in the thread until later.  Heck, most times I don't post in a seller's thread and ONLY send a PM.  I think most sellers want their buyers and fellow members to be happy and have a positive experience, so hopefully this was just a misunderstanding (although the seller can do whatever they choose with their sales).  Good luck! :)

ETA:  How long did it take you to respond to the seller's PM?  This is first come, first serve, but if you didn't respond within a period of time and they had someone who was willing to pay immediately, it makes sense that they would sell to someone else.

Told them right upfront I was ready to pay at 11:30 that night (so about 6 hours)  because I was on my way to work where I wouldn't have phone access. They specifically stated the other person did not PM until after they posted when I asked them about it because I thought it was just an honest mistake. But then they got super rude.
Title: Re: Am I wrong to be upset?
Post by: Em_L._Pea_Customs on March 27, 2017, 09:56:04 AM
I think it was really good you just found another seller.  That is what I would do.

I actually haven't found one yet. They were actually the first person I'd ever seen to put these ones up for sale. But if they're going to handle things the way they did I don't want to deal with a potential issue down the line if I had gone through with the transaction.

I would just mention that you don't really know when (or if) they private messaged the seller, correct?  There have been times that I will message a seller and maybe not post in the thread until later.  Heck, most times I don't post in a seller's thread and ONLY send a PM.  I think most sellers want their buyers and fellow members to be happy and have a positive experience, so hopefully this was just a misunderstanding (although the seller can do whatever they choose with their sales).  Good luck! :)

ETA:  How long did it take you to respond to the seller's PM?  This is first come, first serve, but if you didn't respond within a period of time and they had someone who was willing to pay immediately, it makes sense that they would sell to someone else.

Told them right upfront I was ready to pay at 11:30 that night (so about 6 hours)  because I was on my way to work where I wouldn't have phone access. They specifically stated the other person did not PM until after they posted when I asked them about it because I thought it was just an honest mistake. But then they got super rude.

That's not cool.  It sure does sound like you have a reason to be upset.  I know that it doesn't make it any better, but as others have said, it is probably better to just avoid the seller in the future.  Don't get discouraged though!  There are so many lovely buyers and sellers here and another awesome pony deal always comes along again! :)
Title: Re: Am I wrong to be upset?
Post by: Duenia on March 27, 2017, 09:58:18 AM
I think it was really good you just found another seller.  That is what I would do.

I actually haven't found one yet. They were actually the first person I'd ever seen to put these ones up for sale. But if they're going to handle things the way they did I don't want to deal with a potential issue down the line if I had gone through with the transaction.

I would just mention that you don't really know when (or if) they private messaged the seller, correct?  There have been times that I will message a seller and maybe not post in the thread until later.  Heck, most times I don't post in a seller's thread and ONLY send a PM.  I think most sellers want their buyers and fellow members to be happy and have a positive experience, so hopefully this was just a misunderstanding (although the seller can do whatever they choose with their sales).  Good luck! :)

ETA:  How long did it take you to respond to the seller's PM?  This is first come, first serve, but if you didn't respond within a period of time and they had someone who was willing to pay immediately, it makes sense that they would sell to someone else.

Told them right upfront I was ready to pay at 11:30 that night (so about 6 hours)  because I was on my way to work where I wouldn't have phone access. They specifically stated the other person did not PM until after they posted when I asked them about it because I thought it was just an honest mistake. But then they got super rude.

That's not cool.  It sure does sound like you have a reason to be upset.  I know that it doesn't make it any better, but as others have said, it is probably better to just avoid the seller in the future.  Don't get discouraged though!  There are so many lovely buyers and sellers here and another awesome pony deal always comes along again! :)

Yeah, I blocked them so I won't accidentally try to buy from them again
Title: Re: Am I wrong to be upset?
Post by: Galactica on March 27, 2017, 10:18:23 AM
I can see why you were annoyed (although I don't know specifically what you were saying to the seller or what she or he was saying to you)

But I can add that when I have sold off multiple ponies- it can be difficult to keep track of who is wanting what and who confirmed they for sure will buy first...
Title: Re: Am I wrong to be upset?
Post by: LadyMoondancer on March 28, 2017, 02:01:16 PM
As a seller it can be hard to keep track.  As a buyer, I don't think it's worth getting upset over.
Title: Re: Am I wrong to be upset?
Post by: Libelle on March 28, 2017, 02:24:30 PM
Sadly, because of the explicit nature of the information given by the creator of this thread, the identity of the seller is obvious. I feel this blackens the reputation of the seller unnecessarily. Shouldn't the buyer deal with the seller directly or ask a moderator to mediate?
Title: Re: Am I wrong to be upset?
Post by: Duenia on March 28, 2017, 02:40:04 PM
Is it obvious? I've tried to be as vague as possible while still explaining the situation?
Title: Re: Am I wrong to be upset?
Post by: Galactica on March 28, 2017, 02:48:15 PM
As a seller it can be hard to keep track.  As a buyer, I don't think it's worth getting upset over.

Thanks- you said it better than I

Post Merge: March 28, 2017, 02:50:00 PM

Sadly, because of the explicit nature of the information given by the creator of this thread, the identity of the seller is obvious. I feel this is slander. Shouldn't the buyer deal with the seller directly or ask a moderator to mediate?

Is it slander though? Personally I don't know who the seller is, but I think this thread reflects just as poorly (maybe more so) on the buyer for complaining about something so trivial.  Or is that slander? I don't mean to hurt feelings but that is my take...

Title: Re: Am I wrong to be upset?
Post by: bluerose9978 on March 28, 2017, 03:14:41 PM
Definition of slander (used as a noun): the action or crime of making a false spoken statement damaging to a person's reputation.

Sorry, I don't think it applies in this case to either the seller or buyer.

I don't think the post makes it obvious who the seller is and I don't think people are going out of their way trying to find out. It's probably best that the OP finds a new seller. If they are unhappy with the situation, then it's just best to move on. Although rarer ponies don't pop up often, they will again, maybe in better condition. I'm not sure what you were looking for but I bet it wasn't a one of a kind.
Title: Re: Am I wrong to be upset?
Post by: Libelle on March 28, 2017, 03:17:49 PM
Is it slander though?

I believe you're right Galactica, it's not slander. Apparently, a statement needs to have been proven false to qualify as slander. In Germany we have a law which covers defamatory statements that have not been proven to be true or false and I was thinking of that. Sorry! I'll edit my comment. ;)

I think this thread reflects just as poorly (maybe more so) on the buyer for complaining about something so trivial

My thoughts exactly.
Title: Re: Am I wrong to be upset?
Post by: LadyMoondancer on March 28, 2017, 03:22:39 PM
Is it slander though? Personally I don't know who the seller is, but I think this thread reflects just as poorly (maybe more so) on the buyer for complaining about something so trivial.  Or is that slander? I don't mean to hurt feelings but that is my take...

Yeah, I was trying to think of a tactful way to say this, but yeah.
Title: Re: Am I wrong to be upset?
Post by: Libelle on March 28, 2017, 03:24:18 PM
@bluerose9978

Ninja'ed. ;) Sorry again! I was just voicing my concerns about potentially blackening the reputation of a seller.

I don't think the post makes it obvious who the seller is

Sadly, it does. I had been browsing the sales forum just before and knew immediately who the seller was. :(
Title: Re: Am I wrong to be upset?
Post by: Duenia on March 28, 2017, 03:53:25 PM

Post Merge: [time]1490737800[/time
Is it slander though? Personally I don't know who the seller is, but I think this thread reflects just as poorly (maybe more so) on the buyer for complaining about something so trivial.  Or is that slander? I don't mean to hurt feelings but that is my take...

I asked for opinions knowing I'd get some kind of mix so no hurt feelings. You're entitled to your own opinion.
Title: Re: Am I wrong to be upset?
Post by: yurika on March 29, 2017, 04:51:02 AM
I understand you ... I have written several times to a seller and I have been in the first place to buy his items, I wanted to buy almost all his items! And I see how these are sold and and gone....and seller ivent written to me at least for education
Im so frustrated ...
Title: Re: Am I wrong to be upset?
Post by: heathersmoo on March 29, 2017, 06:26:07 AM
Just my personal take but I didn't understand OP being "upset" in a weeping and gnashing of teeth biblical kind of way as if the sun would never shine again but more the expression of mild annoyance which I think is pretty appropriate if many of us are honest with our feelings.  I still don't know who the seller is but I don't check the sales section so that's likely why.  Do people dislike the feeling that someone jumped ahead of them in a queue?  Usually, yes.  Can people sell to whoever they like following whatever kind of best practices they want?  Yes.  Life is messy sometimes. 

Title: Re: Am I wrong to be upset?
Post by: Taffeta on March 29, 2017, 06:56:36 AM
I don't know who the seller is either, nor am I going to go check.
I think this is just a case of a buyer venting frustration, and a seller with a lot of people asking and probably getting swamped, as others have said.

I didn't even realise it was a transaction on the Arena till someone mentioned the sale pages, so that actually made it easier to figure out who the seller is than anything the OP said.

But there is an issue with the Arena and its PM notifications. Sometimes they don't show up properly and it is possible that the message got in later but was seen sooner. There are a lot of things that could have happened here which don't mean either buyer or seller is at fault.

But if you aren't happy with a seller, it makes sense to go elsewhere. Thus, problem solved :)
Title: Re: Am I wrong to be upset?
Post by: Duenia on March 29, 2017, 07:32:01 AM
Just my personal take but I didn't understand OP being "upset" in a weeping and gnashing of teeth biblical kind of way as if the sun would never shine again but more the expression of mild annoyance which I think is pretty appropriate if many of us are honest with our feelings.  I still don't know who the seller is but I don't check the sales section so that's likely why.  Do people dislike the feeling that someone jumped ahead of them in a queue?  Usually, yes.  Can people sell to whoever they like following whatever kind of best practices they want?  Yes.  Life is messy sometimes.

Pretty much sums it up better than I could. If you're going to post how you're handling something then follow it instead of picking and choosing where you will/applying it with no consistency and getting rude if someone asks for some information when they're confused about the choices.
Title: Re: Am I wrong to be upset?
Post by: tulagirl on March 29, 2017, 07:56:32 AM
I have absolutely no idea from this thread who this seller is.  It could be anyone. I don't think the op has made it obvious at all.  I am not going to go try to figure it out either.

I hope you find your ponies soon. Hugs
Title: Re: Am I wrong to be upset?
Post by: lovesbabysquirmy on March 30, 2017, 06:13:54 PM
Sometimes these sorts of things are meant to be emotional support threads.  We've all been there!  :-p 
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