Lineart critique please!

[findlay_pvet]

So...  this is my first free-hand, not from life pony drawing... EVER!
Twilight below is free-hand but she was copied from G3 from life.

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Anyway, I would like some critique.  I was going for more of a G1 style.  I actually like the way the wings turned out but that was about their 18th draft (thank goodness for erasers!).  Should they be more forward on her withers or where they are?  I was going to draw the wings folded, thinking it would be easier - wrong! At least this way I could get the anatomy relatively right.  I liked the body at first, but now it doesn't look right.  Are the legs too long?  Head too small?  There's something funky about her neck and withers, but I can't pinpoint it.

Hair and facial expession is a whole 'nother task, so I left them blank for now.

I'm definitely not an artist, but I want to improve my skills.  Just this took the major part of an afternoon!  When this is done (and I'm expecting it to take several weeks with work), she will be my new ponysona that I've been saying I would revamp

[Diamond]

I think it is a good try but do not be so anxious to try and draw with out a reference.  It is really the best way to learn and get better.

For a G1 look your body is a bit too long, your neck too thin from front to back and ponies legs get thicker at the bottom, some molds more then other.

Great wings and keep up the great work, you are getting there.

[Eviecorn]

G1s are rather thick bodied, and have a lot of rounded shapes rather than angular ones (same with G3).  As Diamond said, your neck and legs should be thickened a little, legs getting slightly tapered in closer to the body (but not too thin.  It should be barely noticeable.)

Not bad for your first sketch!  The feathers on the wings should be a little more round and unified, but other than that I don't see anything wrong with them.

[ZennaBug]

I think she's an excellent start.  Your anatomy is sound, no weird joints or things popping out of the wrong places.    I think that the best way to learn is to doodle from references, over and over again.  Once you're more comfortable with equine anatomy and proportion, it's easier to adjust and make them more "pony."

I think the neck seems a bit short/thin and maybe too far forward.  It's hard to describe, but a horse's neck usually has a curve, rather than just a straight line.

I like the body proportions quite a bit actually, I think it's the neck that's making them look a bit off.  You can always add a bit more movement to the pose and leg joints, but I don't think that it necessarily NEEDS it.

The wings are jointed a little awkwardly, they're almost bent backwards.  Just google bird wings to get a feel for their joints, it's like an elbow bent the wrong way.  OW!

Overall, I think it's an excellent starting point and the more you work on it, the better you will be. 

[Griffin]

Actually, I must disagree with Zenna on the wings - your wings do look correct to me as far as bone structure goes. The placement also looks good. I would suggest adding some more feathers to make them look softer, and maybe make the feathers a bit rounder like Eviecorn suggested. The tips of the wings usually have gaps between the primary feathers like you have here, but for the most part the feathers should overlap each other. Although I think the wings look kind of cool as they are - they remind me of mechanical wings, steampunk style or something.

Moving on to the body, I agree with the advice given above. Drawing the neck a little thicker would make a major difference, I think. The body proportions currently resemble a real horse more than MLP, they have incredibly short backs! I don't always follow the advise of starting with circles and other basic shapes when sketching, but here it definitely helps: if you start with two circles denoting the front body and the butt, they should almost touch each other. (They can touch and even intersect, depending on the angle of the body.)

The length of the legs looks fine to me and the thickness, too. Don't be afraid of adding a little more curve to the legs, that would help making them look less stiff. G1 style ponies (the toys esp.) don't have defined hooves per se, but imagining the fetlock/pastern joints will result in a more believable look, and often a simple curve is enough to suggest the existence of these joints. (If you look at these G1 drawings, you see that the legs are drawn with little crooks denoting the different joints. You can picture the hooves, too. In toys these are often less noticeable, depending on the pose the legs can be quite straight, but little details like that help adding life to your drawings.)

You're off to a good start and I wish you all the best finishing the drawing! Again, don't be afraid of experimenting, erasing and redrawing lines - sometimes they need to be in a completely different place than you'd think!

[spottedslug]

Great start! For a cartoon pony I'd probably shorten the body and make the head bigger. The wings are your strength!