What is it with people making false promises and ignoring?

[Pierlala]

This is not about any of the members on this forum. But it's about personal experiences I've had eversince I picked up my pony collecting again.

Many times it has happened that I contact people about Ponies and end up making a "deal" or a "I will look around for you". But in the end you hear nothing or you're being ignored.

I give an example below.

About 1.5 month ago I went to a large thrift place. Basically a huge hall with all sorts of stands with old stuff and toys and whatnot on it. I ofcourse only went there for the Ponies. But I ended up only with a couple of G3 and 3 G1 babies and 1 G1 adult.

Anyway, near the end I just walked around, asking people if they had any MLP from the 80's for sale or hidden in their boxes. I ended up talking to this woman who said she has tons of them at home and ofcourse the usual "I had all of them when I was little". She said they were just at home, sitting in a box doing nothing. I told her I would be very interested in buying them. We even exchanged phone numbers so we could communicate on Whatsapp. She promised me she would make pictures and send them to me so we could come to an agreement.

So I let a week go by to not stress her. I ask 1 week later if she had managed to make pictures yet. I see that my message on Whatsapp has been read but she goes offline again and regularly comes online but doesn't respond. So okay...I let another week go by. I asked her the same question. Again...no response, but message read and poof offline again. So, to my annoyance I give her a week more and ask again with a more pushing tone "Did you manage to make pictures yet? Otherwise I have to go look further". She was finally responding saying: "Oh I'm sorry, I will make pictures NEXT WEEK! (GRRRR!) when I visit my parents, cause they're stored there.

I finally felt more at ease and was glad she atleast responded. When more then a week later (since I didn't wanna jump on her after exactly 1 week) I asked her again. Did you make pictures? She comes online, reads message and goes offline again. I swear I was about to explode. I wrote to her "This is the last time I will bother you with asking about the Ponies, but I am still interested in buying them. If you're not willing anymore, please let me know". She read it and you already guessed it...goes offline again. I was furious by now and I wrote to her "Next time don't make false promises and lead people on and letting them wait. It's unfair and rude" Then I blocked her.

I swear I still get mad. It took so long for her to basically blow me off? Then recently I checked this local website in the Netherlands that is a less serious version of Ebay. Then I saw many Ponies listed basic ones, but I stilldon't have a lot of the basic ones. But I looked at the place where the person lived who listed the Ponies and I saw he/she lived in the exact same area where the woman was living. So I guess she was like...I'm putting them up on this website and completely ignore the person who I promised them to.

It's just to highly irritating, why do people do that?

Another small example which is still going on by now. A few weeks ago I posted an add on this Dutch Ebay website again, that I am looking for 3 specific Ponies. I also listed the price I am willing to pay etc. But I swear  EVERYTIME I get approached by people saying "Oh I got this and this Pony, bla, bla, bla." Then eventually hearing nothing from them ever again. I swear I had like 5 people approaching me alreay and never ever heard from them again. It's just mindblowing.

It it to tease? To annoy? To mock? Why approach someone and then dissapear?

I think I will stick to members from the Arena who actually do respond and are fair. My friend Tak who helped me obtain my dream Pony who will arrive near the end of the month Thanks again Tak, I really appericiate it.

[Pokeyonekenobie]

That is frustrating.  I've had that happen with an art piece before.  Someone said they wanted me to paint them a piggy bank (and they were willing to pay for it as well) so once it was done I tried to contact them to tell them it was ready and they never responded.  I finally ended up giving it away as a prize for something at work. 

"A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on." (Note: This quote is often attributed to Samuel Goldwyn but apparently he never actually said it and was pleased that people thought it was something he would say.)

I do miss the days when someone's word actually meant something.  Now you never know who you can trust to go through with what they say they will.

[LadyMoondancer]

I think it's because it's low on their list of priorities . . . It's like the little task that you keep forgetting to do when you go to the store, and then you think "Oh shoot.  Well, next time."  Basically, just keep your expectations low with Craigslist type interactions.  It goes both ways, I've had a lot of Craigslist buyers flake out on me. Now I'm very clear that it's first come first serve and I won't hold an item for anyone.  The first person who appears--actually APPEARS, on my doorstep--with the money gets it.

I think a secondary reason is that people promise ponies and then can't find them and are too embarrassed to say so.

[brightberry]

People say things like that all the time and then realize how far out of their way they have to go for a perfect stranger and get flakey about it.   She may not had known how busy she'd be or that the ponies were harder to locate than she thought.  It would have been nice to just say so but it sounds like she couldn't bring herself to do that which means she was still planning to try.   I think when asking about things like that, it's easier to wait for them to come to you on their own time.   Who knows, maybe a year later she would have finally done it. 

[aintnobuffalo]

I've had somewhat similar experiences with Craigslist. People post like they want to get rid of ponies, but then they never respond to me or they will tell me the price and accept to trade and then never get back to me about when and where to meet even after asking several times. This one person skated around meeting up for weeks, saying they still had the ponies and I finally gave up.

I suppose at some point it doesn't seem worth while for the person with their busy lives.

[Stormness_1]

urgh this happened to me with gumtree too... a person begged me to meet with her halfway because she desperately wanted the ponies I was selling, and then, when I got to the meeting place, she was too busy, and she was sending her sister, who never showed. So I had to lug this huge box of ponies home again. On the train. Never Again. They are at my house, or I ship at cost. Take it or leave it.

[Tak]

I've had similar experiences multiple times. On craigslist, Facebook, offerup, and even eBay. I try to understand that life is messy and sometimes it is beyond their control. However, I let it go pretty quickly if they flake. Luckily there are still some good people. I like buying here on the arena if at all possible. Sorry she drug you along for so long.

[NovelNerd]

People just get busy I guess as others mentioned. I think if it were something they were getting a good deal of money for it would be different, but the task of finding them can be a choir in itself. I know I had someone about a year ago ask me about some grand champions and while I have a box somewhere of like over 100 of them I've yet to find them. I haven't really gone out of my way to get them though, and she hasn't bothered me about it. It was more of a mutual if I ever found them again I would prod her, but chances are I won't. Trying to sort through the childhood toys in my mothers amount of storage space is no easy task.

She should have told you, but I guess she felt bad or keeps intending to do it.

Also, I don't think non collectors realize just how serious business we are about our ponies. They might see it as a nostalgia factor and having some of them is nice. They may not view it as "this person really likes them and has an entire room of pastel creatures". I'm having better luck finding flea market sellers that pick up and sell toys and explaining to them I want ponies. They have been texting me pictures when they find stuff I might like.

[DazzleKitty]

I've had this happen to me many times with vendors at my local flea market and it makes me want to scream. Many of them have moved on but I remember one lady in particular saying she has boxes of them at home and they are all vintage. She promised to bring them in and never did.

Another woman said she had bags of old ponies and she'd sell them to me for a dollar a bag. I went back every weekend and she never brought them. She eventually stopped coming. I knew they had to be authentic ponies because she had tons of other vintage toys at her booth.

I don't understand why people do this. As Maddie said, I guess they don't understand how serious we are. Because how can an adult be serious over some toys? If they saw my bedroom, they'd know otherwise.
But really, I don't know what they're so lazy about. Just bring the dang things. You'll make some money off of me!

[Ponyfan]

That's never fun when that happens to you. I think most of the time people just get busy or forgot that they told you they would get in touch with you. My aunt once told me her daughter had all of the popular 80's toys including G1 ponies and Strawberry Shortcake. I spent a long time looking up pictures for her from the Internet of the most valuable ponies (not Mail orders though.) but never heard anything else about her daughter's toys after that.


Ponyfan

[Taffeta]

I think that people should be honest. If they don't have time, they should say, I'm sorry, I don't have time. Or if they can't find them or want to sell them in a different way, again, they should say so. If you go to the trouble of exchanging numbers, I think that much at least should be fair. Even if it isn't what the prospective buyer wants to know, at least then they know to move on to something else.

On the flip, I would have just left it. If she wasn't taking the pictures, and didn't do so after a couple of polite reminders, I'd look elsewhere anyway. If she did finally come through then great, but there's no sense in letting it eat away at you inside.

I have had both situations, actually. I don't usually give my details to people, but I have had folk say they have ponies and don't ever bring them. I had one woman, though, who did bring ponies for me to look at, and I was so touched that she'd made the effort that, even though I had them all, I bought a few as upgrades for my collection. Her ponies were beautiful.

Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. I think frustration is an increasing part of collecting, and with G1 especially becoming rarer, it's probably going to just get more so.

[Pierlala]

And the thing was she even offered to make pictures and send them to me. I didn't ask for it. She was basically the one offering the Ponies after I told her I was looking for 80's Ponies.

Same goes for that add I placed, asking for the 3 Ponies that I'm looking for. People approach ME! I don't approach anyone about it! And then just vanish. Why waste your own time to take the effort of readin my add and responding to me and waste my time as I'm getting back in contact trying to get hold of you.

I just get so annoyed when this happens.

[SkyCakes]

I have had people say the same thing to me even friends of my family. I just dont get my hopes up. Ive had way better luck in other places. I like to buy ponies from here or the mlptp too.
  One person did come through for me and I still have some of the ponies from that lot. I guess what I am saying its either hit or miss sometimes. I think its almost like you gotta carry a picture of your collection on your phone to say man Im serious! ><:

[DazzleKitty]

I think its almost like you gotta carry a picture of your collection on your phone to say man Im serious! ><:

I actually do this. People don't believe me when I say I have a lot. I always show them my room to prove a point.

[SkyCakes]

I think its almost like you gotta carry a picture of your collection on your phone to say man Im serious! ><:

I actually do this. People don't believe me when I say I have a lot. I always show them my room to prove a point.

good one, way to go if I had them all display I would myself take tons of pictures.