The Trivial Complaints Thread ... #3

[Ponybookworm]

Snuggles to everybody

[Leave a Whisper]

Snuggles to everybody

[Beth3346]

Snuggles to everybody

[shockponie]

I appreciate your condolences Ponyfan, BlackCurtains, and Heart of Midnight.

And hugs to everyone else as well.

I had a much-needed therapy session after the events of the week. Whew, I’m grateful for a 3-day weekend (it’ll be a normal 2-day weekend for me since my last day of working for the elections dept is on Saturday). I need to recuperate; I’m so mentally and physically drained. Ready for the R&R!

[BlackCurtains]

I am so tired and sore. I've been taking my thyroid meds but my fatigue is just terrible. I wonder if it's compounded by stress? Probably.

[lovesbabysquirmy]

shockponie, I'm glad you are getting some rest time.  what a horrible thing to have to endure on both accounts...

[Kitcatepic]

During a class I was in a few hours ago a teacher stood directly behind the chair I was in without telling me (I'm autistic and having people standing that close to me is really uncomfortable in most situations). I turned around and saw her and told her she was way too close and to hurry up with whatever she was doing. She responded "I can't hurry up I'm too tired" and "what if you are invading my space". I told her she was obviously the one invading my space because I was in that area first and she said "lets draw sticks to decide who was here first". I told her that this is not funny and she said "well it's funny to me". In her position she works with disabled students all the time and has worked with me in the past. She should know better than to disrespect me like that. My sensitivities are not a joke.

[Taffeta]

During a class I was in a few hours ago a teacher stood directly behind the chair I was in without telling me (I'm autistic and having people standing that close to me is really uncomfortable in most situations). I turned around and saw her and told her she was way too close and to hurry up with whatever she was doing. She responded "I can't hurry up I'm too tired" and "what if you are invading my space". I told her she was obviously the one invading my space because I was in that area first and she said "lets draw sticks to decide who was here first". I told her that this is not funny and she said "well it's funny to me". In her position she works with disabled students all the time and has worked with me in the past. She should know better than to disrespect me like that. My sensitivities are not a joke.

I may be a cranky person in this kind of context, but I would have reported her for harassing and discriminatory treatment. She's clearly not helping your study if she's distracting you, and frankly, that is bullying.

I have no idea why people think autistic sensitivities are less important or valid than other people's, but unfortunately stuff like this happens

[BlackCurtains]

I agree, that is bullying. Sounds like she was making fun of you


Edit, the next day: Had a migraine all day. It's finally eased off a little.

[Beth3346]

During a class I was in a few hours ago a teacher stood directly behind the chair I was in without telling me (I'm autistic and having people standing that close to me is really uncomfortable in most situations). I turned around and saw her and told her she was way too close and to hurry up with whatever she was doing. She responded "I can't hurry up I'm too tired" and "what if you are invading my space". I told her she was obviously the one invading my space because I was in that area first and she said "lets draw sticks to decide who was here first". I told her that this is not funny and she said "well it's funny to me". In her position she works with disabled students all the time and has worked with me in the past. She should know better than to disrespect me like that. My sensitivities are not a joke.

definitely sounds like bullying to me. unacceptable behavior. especially for someone who works with disabled students.

[Lady Frostbite]

My boss and her boss are incredibly awful. Today was an exceptionally bad day, and it doesn't help that a mental health condition I had disclosed (to explain why I couldn't work under a certain circumstance) was used as a reason to not give me a placement in a MUCH closer office.

I can't trust my workplace at all. I've been pulling away ever since I got this boss, this just seals the deal, I can't trust or disclose anything there now 

[Beth3346]

WTH Lady Frostbite! that's terrible. is that even legal? as long as you can do the job I would think using a mental health condition as a reason not to place you in an office should be workplace discrimination.

[Taffeta]

@Beth, technically the Equalities Act and various other legislation should protect people with disabling or medical conditions in the workplace, but in reality things don't always work out like that :/ In the past there was the DDA which specifically dealt with disabilities, but the Equalities Act is meant to cover all protected characteristics, and disability tends to be the poor relation in all these discussions. Mental health conditions are officially recognised as disability after some legal wrangling some years back, so the legislation is there. It's just so complicated for an employee to stand up and demand proper treatment that it's really easy for managers etc to get away with whatever.

Especially with invisible disabilities or mental health.

I had a slightly awkward day yesterday. I'll preface this with my work team are great. And some of them are also ND. But as I mentioned in Shoutbox my hours recently changed and so did some of my responsibilities. I now have to do a bunch of tasks I didn't have to in my old contract, which is fine, but I need to be shown how to do them before being randomly asked to do them on spec. And having to raise that with someone made me feel pretty awkward, because I want to do my job, but being asked to do something I've not been trained in is just not going to happen. :/

Also, because of my coordination and directional issues, there's a physical door divide that my colleagues open and shut morning and evening between us and the cafe next door, and I can't do it. It involves too much lefting and righting and I almost hit someone with it when I tried to do it the other week (with help). But my colleagues found this hard to understand, and thought I was just 'needing practice' and such. I had a great chat with my manager who said she'd rather I mentioned it than caused a health and safety issue - but now I wonder if my colleagues think I'm just skiving out of doing it rather than it being an actual adjustment. If my disability was obvious or physical, then nobody would ask anything. But it isn't...so that makes it awkward.

And especially when my other ND colleagues can do the door - they don't have directional or practical skill issues like I do, but when people have a similar diagnosis, they tend to feel like, well, if I can, why can't you...? :/ And having to explain just makes it feel like making excuses. Even though it's not an excuse and it's literally the ONLY reasonable adjustment I have asked for in over a year of working there.

My one colleague yesterday said, "you can do more than you think you can," and I know she meant it in a nice, encouraging way, but it's also a negating statement. I am already doing a lot of stuff without asking for help, even though it's difficult -I'm working out my own way of managing the issue and so it's fine. But because they don't see that I'm doing that all the time to make sure I give a good quality of work, when these little things come up, they're just...awkward. And I'm very bad at explaining things clearly. As you guys know

Re KitKatEpic's situation, I've done the job of supporting disabled students in the classroom, I think I would have been sacked if I had treated any of my kids like that. But even doing that job I had people in the team telling me I couldn't properly understand autism because I was autistic and therefore didn't understand how 'different autism worked'. This was at the same time I had been supporting at least 20 different autistic kids based on their individual situations, and I had a great rapport with all of them (one or two tried to physically stop me leaving the building when my contract ended, lol). It's that arrogance that autistic people don't have feelings/don't have empathy/can't feel anything anyway...my experience is empathy is a learned skill for everyone, and some people just don't bother :/

[Lady Frostbite]

WTH Lady Frostbite! that's terrible. is that even legal? as long as you can do the job I would think using a mental health condition as a reason not to place you in an office should be workplace discrimination.

I brought this up in my very cold email to them, I was told it wasn't their intent to discriminate against me, just that they were taking what I said about my condition 'into consideration'. I pointed out I wasn't consulted, and I'd worked in that office before (TWICE) so was more than aware of the conditions. If they had asked and I said no because of mental health, that would be different, even if they think they know the answer. When a work friend gave me an invitation to her wedding, she knew I was likely to say no as I would be overwhelmed with the formalities of a wedding - I've never been to one before - but still wanted to extend the invitation anyway. THAT'S how you do it.

[Ponyfan]

@Kitkatpic. @Taffeta @ LadyFrostbite

I'm so sorry that happened to you.

Not trivial, but i don't want to start a new thread.

Mentions of death, and headstones in the spoilers

Spoiler

Some of you probably remember about my aunt dying in a horrific way in August. 


My uncle sent my mom a copy of the death certificate My other aunt also called my mom and gave her very descriptive details from the autopsy that would have been better unsaid. 


My uncle also picked out the headstone and sent a copy of the receipt to the remaining brothers and sisters expecting them to pay part of it.  My mom sent what she felt like she could contribute.   My aunt (the same one that gave all of details)  texted my mom and uncle this morning with a passive aggressive message that said "Here's mine and my husband's part.  We're not paying for my sister (my mom) or anyone else.   

My mom never asked her sister to pay her share.  Then my uncle sent a text that said "Well if she doesn't pay I guess we'll have to. 

My uncle is a lot better off than we are and isn't hurting for money.

I've been looking for a board game for months and finally found it today, but I'm not sure if I bought it if my family would play it with me. My dad is very much in to playing the exact same games over and over again. The last time we tried to play a new game we played it maybe 3 times before my dad decided "it wasn't for us" and put it in the garage. 


Also adding to the inappropriate behavior of adults towards students, I heard that a substitute teacher in my area cussed out a class of 5th grade students because they wouldn't be quiet. 

Ponyfan