Wedddding Nerves! 4 weeks to go!!

[lilacamy931]

Ok I am hitting huge panic attacks, sleepless nights, absolutely weird nightmares and wonder how on earth has everyone else kept themselves calm? Is there something I can take to destress??? I am a stress head anyway and the wedding touch wood has gone without any hitches so far because I have planned daily, weekly, monthly and have checklists for the checklists. Why the stress do you ask?


Family...quite simply the loving supporting family that throw spanners in the works and the thing I could least care about suddenly is MASSIVE (for funnies and amusement here are some hurdles and I reallly truly apologise now for venting )


1. Yesterday a hour phonecall to my mum, my two nieces (10 years old and 8 years old) have tried their dresses on again. The 10 year olds is fitting but snug and my mum has demanded of my sister to cut back both of their food for the next 4 weeks to make sure they fit. I went a bit mental as they are healthy children and normal! I ended up ringing my sister to say DONT underfeed them we will cope!


2. Again yesterday oh no! The childrens cardigans sleeves were too long - we shall ruffle I say but no she wants them to freeze on the day  Again I shall have my way..


3. Maid of Honour tried her dress a year and a half ago and only just arrives back in Africa 2 weeks before my wedding....honestly nervous if she is going to fit the dress but perhaps a stapler can be used?


4. I have been dragged in to arranging my partners stag do as the main man is useless, luckily I have a REALLY good friend sorting mine out and literally have been told to wait outside my house with fairy wings and a wand


5. His mum has asked me 26 times throughout the year when her beloved son is being fitted for his suit (have been keeping score as driving me mental) so finally that is this weekend!


6. I hate photographs and think there is 8 in existence of me so a whole day of them is what is scaring me the most!!!


7. I am a large lady and LOVE my dress but worry what everyone really thinks


8. Both mums have caused me to have breakdowns in 2 coffee shops, one suit place and the ring shop - oh and the craft store. The craft store of which I will NEVER show my face again for a long time! Dont worry I didnt hurt anyone ...much, just had to get really stern with two strong mums!! That poor girl at the ring store....I threatened to superglue the ring onto my partners hand if it was too loose as he could not be there on the day and mum was fussing!


9. His mum having a fit because I couldnt afford two luxury cars to have the traditional bride goes with dad and others follow...One giant luxury car for the family is enough!!!


So those are the latest developments amongst a longgggg list  Even writing this realise the insanity. The good news? Me and my partner of 9 years literally could not be more in love as it has strengthened us 


I must ask are the weird dreams normal? I have had the top table turn into a terrifying old lady that scared me to death. We ended up getting married at his mums conservatory and the registrar turned up on a pedal bike and also the worst was in the venue completely on my own and not knowing what to do!

[kittybethy]

Wow!! Calm down honey!

 I'm sure your wedding will be beautiful and everyone will enjoy it!

  It's normal to be nervous.  Hugs to you!

[lilacamy931]

thanks hon *hugs back* I know I am mental Just good to get a lot of things off my chest

[Sebby6]

Haha the dreams are perfectly normal. I remember waking up in the middle of the night having a panic attack because I didn't have a shrug.
I decided to just deal with it - got out of bed and bought a random one on Ebay. I didn't end up wearing it and it got donated to the charity shop, but at least I felt in control lol.

And seriously. I was sick as dog on the day, it rained so we had to change the ceremony last minute, the caterers got lost and food delayed, the cake collapsed and half the guests nearly didn't make it when Ryanair cancelled a flight.
And guess what - we still got married

And being married is awesome - I highly recommend it. You'll be fine - tell the mothers to back off. They've had wedding - this one is yours.

I had to take mum to McD and feed her mozarella sticks to get the message across, but things were a lot better after that.

[lilacamy931]

Haha the dreams are perfectly normal. I remember waking up in the middle of the night having a panic attack because I didn't have a shrug.
I decided to just deal with it - got out of bed and bought a random one on Ebay. I didn't end up wearing it and it got donated to the charity shop, but at least I felt in control lol.

And seriously. I was sick as dog on the day, it rained so we had to change the ceremony last minute, the caterers got lost and food delayed, the cake collapsed and half the guests nearly didn't make it when Ryanair cancelled a flight.
And guess what - we still got married

And being married is awesome - I highly recommend it. You'll be fine - tell the mothers to back off. They've had wedding - this one is yours.

I had to take mum to McD and feed her mozarella sticks to get the message across, but things were a lot better after that.

Oh my goodness that makes me feel oodles better! Oh you poor thing yet as you pointed out you got married in the end! Phew I will have to make oodles of tea as it always makes me feel better. Recently it got so bad we switched all phones off! Thank you for making me feel better

[FlyingPonyMonster]

Ok I totally know how you feel!

I had a 26 point big list of grief running up to our wedding, highlight was the florist making off with our money and mother-in-law requesting to change tables two days before!

My wife's stepmum threw a huge fit over the top table, what will people think with his old wife on one side and his new one
On the other ( I wanted to say noone would care less) we ends up scrapping the traditional top table and had bridesmaids
Only instead!!!

She also said my wife Would look ridiculous in a wedding dress!

Wife's mother wanted to be maid of honour and walk down the aisle with a bouquet!?!

Oh there was so much stress!

All I can say is it really doesn't matter on the day at all!
All the details come together in the end and you likely won't notice if anything goes wrong!

Right now it's so intense for you because it's all coming to a head, something you've been planning and thinking about a long time so all the nerves are completely natural!

On the day you won't notice a thing other than how much you're enjoying it and how in love you are! It will be wonderful!!!

I was a larger bride and terrified of the photos but here's one to reassure you it will all be ok (I'm a UK size 20-22 and I'm the one with white flowers)

visitors can't see pics , please register or login


Here's a link to our wedding video

http://vimeo.com/m/17825272

You will feel amazing and have a wonderful day in sure!!

PM me if you need to chat, I totally understand how you must be feeling

[lilacamy931]

You look beautiful! Both of you look so happy and content, honestly thank you for sharing with me (I am the exact same size and I truly appreciate this). I do feel silly as touch wood nothing drastic has gone off it has been the little constant things getting to me. After this weekend where it is packed end to foot with more finals, I think I really will ensure I have to relax! You have all put it into perspective Thank you so much for lending a ear, I shall have to share the wonderful day (think positive thoughts!) when we get back from honeymoon


EDIT: just watched the video link - I have tears - it is so beautiful!!!

[mercynova]

Everyone looks gorgeous on their wedding day, it will be the best day of your life Don't be scared of the photos, embrace them! Good luck and hugs!

[FlyingPonyMonster]

You look beautiful! Both of you look so happy and content, honestly thank you for sharing with me (I am the exact same size and I truly appreciate this). I do feel silly as touch wood nothing drastic has gone off it has been the little constant things getting to me. After this weekend where it is packed end to foot with more finals, I think I really will ensure I have to relax! You have all put it into perspective Thank you so much for lending a ear, I shall have to share the wonderful day (think positive thoughts!) when we get back from honeymoon


EDIT: just watched the video link - I have tears - it is so beautiful!!!

Aww thanks glad I could help!!
*hugs*

[Nussekanin]

I absolutely feel with you! I'm getting married in August, and I'm up to my ears in check lists! My darling fiancé has no interest whatsoever, so I'm doing all the planning myself. I'm trying to keep the mothers on an arm-length distance, or they'll hijack the entire day.

Reading your list makes me glad we chose a "No children" policy for the wedding. Starving kids sounds kinda crazy..

We're having about 40 guests, and if I'd get away with it, I'd only have half of that, lol.

FlyingPonyMonster: Wow, what a beautiful wedding! You're both so gorgeous! And you got matching brides maids - I've only seen that on TV. So cute!

[kaoskat]

Weddings always make brides crazy. Just try to take a deep breath and relax. It'll be over soon.

[ashes]

I had all sorts of crazy dreams right before I got married - most of them were about me being engaged to other random dudes, and I would wake up freaking out that I was marrying the wrong person!  (Until I realized they were just dreams, but man, at the time they seemed so real!).

  Everything will get sorted out.  And what doesn't get sorted out, try not to worry because the most important thing is you and your fiance getting married.

[ButtercreamDream]

A word of advice... focus on what's important.  Think about your relationship and what marriage means, and don't stress too much about colours and dresses and flowers.  It's the feelings that last.  Also, bubble baths are great ways to relax =)

[Kiwi]

First of all - congrats!

Second - the dreams are perfectly normal. I had a nightmare at about 5 months to the day - as if it was going to happen the next day, with only about half of it planned (whatever I had at that point) and the rest thrown together. Nightmare! The rest were more normal, just trying to remember everything left to do, going over details.

A suggestion - keep a pad & pen with you at all times, especially on your nightstand at night. Then any stray worries you can write down. It helps me to sleep because I know it's written down, cannot be forgotten.

Just be firm with the moms - it's your (and your fiance's) day. There are only 4 things that matter: you, him, pastor, and the license. All else is the icing on the cake, so long as those things are there, you will still have a wedding and that's all that matters.

Also take some time between now and the wedding for just you and your sweetie - even something small like a movie out. Just a few hours of "no wedding".

9. His mum having a fit because I couldnt afford two luxury cars to have the traditional bride goes with dad and others follow...One giant luxury car for the family is enough!!!

For this, all I can say if it's such a big deal for her, she can pay for the extra car. 1 car is just fine if it holds everyone, a lot of people I know do that. Heck - we used the family vehicles! Took some fancy driver arrangements, but we did it.

-groomsman drove to our place and left his car there for the day
-groomsman drove hubby and himself (and his sister as she was invite) in our car to the church (and other morning errands)
-uncle drove to my parents house, left his car there
-uncle drove mom's car (with her and the girls) to the church
-dad drove his own car (with me and MOH) to the church
(-hubby's g-parents came in own van, other groomsman found their own way there)

after the ceremony/going for pics
-uncle drove dad's car back to my parent's house, picked up his own car
-dad drove mom's car, with the girls
-hubby (with beginner's license) drove our car, for us
-all groomsman road in van with g-parents

[littlexflitter]

Congratulations! I agree with everyone else--the stress and nightmares are totally normal. It's a really big day and there's a lot of pressure, so it can really get to you! I didn't have a wedding anywhere near as intense as the one you're planning (my husband and I eloped in secret), but I'm sure you can do it! Hang in there~! ♥