Help with video game ratings and kids

[Sugar]

Hi!

I just spent the afternoon with DS, his best friend, and BF's mum.  We had a great time, but it was slightly marred by BF's older brother (not quite 13) who is totally jonesing for the new Assassin's Creed game which is coming out soon.  Seems his peer group all have some version of AC, or Call of Duty, or even GTA (yikes!), and this kid is trying every trick in the pester-power book to get his folks to get him AC.  BF's mum is close to caving just to preserve the peace in her household, even though she and her husband are totally opposed to the game from what trailers they've seen of it and also because the game is rated 18+.  I told her I'd ask around to see what people think might be a game that offers gameplay that might be similar to AC but not as violent, and here seemed like a good place to ask.

So my question is actually two-fold:  Do you think games like Assassin's Creed are too much for twelve-to-thirteen year-olds (especially when they pitch crying fits when told 'no' for the umpteenth time), and what would be a good replacement game to suggest that might appease both parties?  Thank you, everypony!

[NovelNerd]

Hmmm well please keep in mind I don't have children when commenting. I only have everyone's children on a daily bases.   I know a lot of my students are pretty attached to violent games and they are only in the 14-15 range. I'm personally not a supporter of giving kids items with ratings over their age.

I might need to backtrack and say that I'm not a person that believes "movies or games influence children". There is always the exception of course, but I feel the majority it's allowing those that are too young or not mature enough to handle the content where it creates issues. Then of course most of my students not only have things above their age, but they play them all night long.

I cannot give you a good substitute since most of my games other than typical family ones are for adults, but thought I would throw my two cents in.  It disturbs me sometimes with my students coming in talking about violent video games they played all night long and then applying that to like regular conversation. They just aren't mature enough for the content in my eyes. I hope she's able to find a good substitute for him.  I'd also say to try and avoid giving in to pressure. Those firm "No" boundaries are a good thing. I know we used to pester my mom for things because we just knew "eventually" she would give in, but when she got that evil eye and put her foot down we stopped. Maybe she could say 'sorry you cannot have that game, but here are some other options?" and give him a few different fun choices? That might cheer him up.

[NoPonySpecial]

  I think the parents need to break out the lesson "You can play mature games when you act mature." I know peer pressure can be nasty and the desire to be like your friends is powerful, but any kid who still throws temper tantrums should not be playing violent games, in my book. Of course, I also think kids who throw tantrums don't deserve to be rewarded, but that's just me.
 
  When my brother and I were his age, we were sort of weaned into violent and adult games. Like, we'd start with games for younger kids, like Spyro, and move into things like "Gex" and "Jak and Daxter." Another Arena member just mentioned those the other day, and I distinctly remember those as games that used mild adult language and themes without going too offensive or disturbing. Gex hasn't aged well, and the kid probably wouldn't like it, but J+D are still considered to be great adventure games, even today. Maybe he could start with those? The first is pretty family-friendly, but the sequels get more into the PG territory he seems to be craving. But they are fairly old by now, so maybe he wouldn't take them, or he's already played them. Sorry I don't know modern games very well. 
  Maybe the Mom could go into a Gamestop by herself and ask the guy working there what he'd recommend. The people who work there are pretty knowledgeable, in my experience.

  It might help us to mention what console he has. (Playstation, Xbox?)

[teresat]

  I think the parents need to break out the lesson "You can play mature games when you act mature." I know peer pressure can be nasty and the desire to be like your friends is powerful, but any kid who still throws temper tantrums should not be playing violent games, in my book. Of course, I also think kids who throw tantrums don't deserve to be rewarded, but that's just me.
   

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I like this a lot! *Files away for future use.*

[True]

  I think the parents need to break out the lesson "You can play mature games when you act mature." I know peer pressure can be nasty and the desire to be like your friends is powerful, but any kid who still throws temper tantrums should not be playing violent games, in my book. Of course, I also think kids who throw tantrums don't deserve to be rewarded, but that's just me.
 
  When my brother and I were his age, we were sort of weaned into violent and adult games. Like, we'd start with games for younger kids, like Spyro, and move into things like "Gex" and "Jak and Daxter." Another Arena member just mentioned those the other day, and I distinctly remember those as games that used mild adult language and themes without going too offensive or disturbing. Gex hasn't aged well, and the kid probably wouldn't like it, but J+D are still considered to be great adventure games, even today. Maybe he could start with those? The first is pretty family-friendly, but the sequels get more into the PG territory he seems to be craving. But they are fairly old by now, so maybe he wouldn't take them, or he's already played them. Sorry I don't know modern games very well. 
  Maybe the Mom could go into a Gamestop by herself and ask the guy working there what he'd recommend. The people who work there are pretty knowledgeable, in my experience.

  It might help us to mention what console he has. (Playstation, Xbox?)

I agree with this also.

My son is only 8 lol, I personally love shooter games which I won't let my son play, although he has played halo and left4dead when my sisters bf was watching him -_____- he didn't like the zombie game which didn't surprise me, but he still raves about halo lol which i supose isn't the worse game, still not letting him play it haha.

As for assassins creed, Iv never played it, its one of those games Iv been meaning to try out but never gotten around to it, so I don't really know much about the content within. However I'll say right now, that when a kid is focused on a specific game, there isn't a lot of hope for "alternatives" lol, and that's coming from me personally, games just aren't a very comparable thing, even if they buy him another game, chances are maybe hell be distracted for a bit but hell still want that one game lol.

Now for age appropriateness, again my son is only 8 but I don't think I'd have a problem with him playing more slightly violent games at age 13, but that I think is a case by case opinion. I know how my son wouldn't become more violent or something, the main reason I dont like him playing them is because I know he can be kinda squeamish. It might just be because Im a gamer myself? I still feel like I play it pretty safe with him. Lol

Maybe they could just supervise game play? 13 year old might find that pretty annoying xD unless the system is in his room. For us I keep all of them in the main room so I'm always around when he's playing something.

[Sugar]

Thanks for the input so far!   I really appreciate your help, since I've never personally been much for games that involve killing people and stuff.  Heck, when I started playing, it was Atari 2600, and you were the block and your sword was the arrow...

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All my video game experience since those humble beginnings has been of the fantasy/rpg variety, strategy/puzzle games, Pokémon, and Mario Bros., and even with games like Baldur's Gate and stuff, I turn off whatever gore the options let me turn off.  It's not a draw for me, but then I'm not a tween boy.   So I don't have a good feel for what's out there.  And I appreciate the help immensely.

@ NoPonySpecial:  Oh, you're quite right about the console thing.  It's PS3, Wii, and/or DS.  Thanks!

[kaoskat]

We play alot of games in this house and while we don't have kids yet, we have discussed and agreed that our children will not be playing games we feel are inappropriate for them regardless of begging. If she feels he shouldn't play this game yet, she needs to stick to what she's said. Caving will just prove he can beg and if he's stubborn enough he'll get it. I'll get my hubby to check this thread though. I don't think he's played AC but I think he may be able to come up with some suggestions for alternatives.

[RAMChYLD]

Well, I've no kids, but while I strongly support the fact that you should not let your 12-year-old kid touch any games not rated T or G, his friends have the game, you cannot escape the fact that he's already played it while at their house. I'd suggest talking to these friends' parents about what they think of the game before deciding to cave in. Because, sometimes, ratings can be wrong, and reviews can be biased.

[Sarahlacewing]

We play alot of games in this house and while we don't have kids yet, we have discussed and agreed that our children will not be playing games we feel are inappropriate for them regardless of begging. If she feels he shouldn't play this game yet, she needs to stick to what she's said. Caving will just prove he can beg and if he's stubborn enough he'll get it. I'll get my hubby to check this thread though. I don't think he's played AC but I think he may be able to come up with some suggestions for alternatives.

This is where I am to.

On a separate note I am one of the folks who believes viewing violence/nudity/adult themes too early can negatively affect a child as they are not at an emotional maturity to be able to fully understand and process those themes. I know not everyone feels this way and I don't really want to argue about it. Just throwing my opinion out there. I figure generally speaking if I wouldn't want my little one to see it in real life or participate in such activities in real life, then I'd rather them not view staged renditions of those things either. That's just the way I feel. I know I can't shelter my little one forever, but I feel it's my duty to d what I can, when I can, for as long as he needs it. I would like to have him learn about sex and other things by talking with me.

[Yurusumaji]

First of all, while I like the whole AC storyline, I'm not the biggest fan of the games. They are so painfully repetitive and sloooowwww. Omg. So I wouldn't buy it for the younger generation simply because they'll probably get bored with it really quickly. It's not as action-oriented as the trailers would have you believe. You do kill a whole lot of people, though.

There really is no good alternative to Assassin's Creed, unfortunately. The reason it's so popular is because it's so revolutionary and different in its gameplay. Closest thing I can think of off the top of my head is Uncharted, which is even less fit for youngsters, in my humble opinion.

I think the parents just need to put their foot down on it. If I constantly begged for something I was repeatedly told I could not have, I was threatened with punishment. The parents need to tell him that if he continues to ask a question he already knows the answer to, there will be repercussions. He asked, the parents said no, the discussion is over. They can all do some research on more age-appropriate games for him that he can enjoy and the subject can be dropped.

[Eviecorn]

I think you have to know the child, personally.  One 13-year-old may be more mature than the next, and he or she could be better equipped to handle violence or mature themes.  I think violence is much more detrimental for children to see than nudity or swear words (which is my big issue with rating systems as I believe they are lenient on violence and too sensational about everything else.)

Case in point was my sister and me.  My sister and I are very close in age, but were of different maturity levels.  Thus my mom was more willing for me to see an R rated film when I was 13 or 14 or let me play violent video games (which, admittedly, back then games were nowhere near as violent - the most violent thing we had was Mortal Kombat and Lethal Enforcers and those are pretty tame by today's standards.)  My sister was much more sensitive, so watching a violent, sex-filled R rated movie wouldn't be appropriate for her at the same age.  I saw only its artistic or thematic merit, if any.

So yes.  Know the child.  Really know the child.  The parent is the ultimate say so there's no reason to cave to demands.

[melodys_angel]

Agree with the you need to know the child thing.

While I cringe thinking that a 12 year old is going off playing shooters or games involving violence, you need to remember that all kids are different.  When I was 12, I was already dumped with the responsibilty of a late teenager, especially with 2 younger siblings, a big agegap between my sister and I, and a parent working out of town we only saw on weekends.

Some kids are ready for games like that, reguardless of their age. Not only are they able to handle it, its not something that will change or alter who they are or what they do.  Ofcorse, this might be the minority and do remember that ratings are there for a reason.

One alternative ive seen is the parents getting hte game and playing it themselves.  They can then determine if its something they wish their kid to play at that time.  Might be a compromize, on the assumption the child cant get to the game one their parents get it?

[mlpfan]

  I think the parents need to break out the lesson "You can play mature games when you act mature." I know peer pressure can be nasty and the desire to be like your friends is powerful, but any kid who still throws temper tantrums should not be playing violent games, in my book. Of course, I also think kids who throw tantrums don't deserve to be rewarded, but that's just me.
   

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I like this a lot! *Files away for future use.*

I agree with this,and he should have to earn the money to give to his parents to buy it with if he wants it so bad(that is if they decide he can have it)because you have to work for the things you really want in life, mommy and daddy won't always buy it for you.
and only if he stops throwing little baby fits for it.

[Echo_Shell]

Two points from me.  First, the ratings system is there for a reason.  Use it.  If you chose to ignore it and regret it later, you're the one to blame.  Second point, any child who thinks he can get what he wants by throwing a temper tantrum is NOT mature enough to deal with what they will face in an M rated video game.  The tantrum would have sealed it for me.  So no, I can't advise this.

As for alternatives - there are none, realistically.  In the same way that you will not likely find a G-rated slasher film, you will not likely find a video game of this sort that does not have a rating of Teen or higher.

[Water_Fire]

I have to agree with the others, while some children are more mature and can handle certain things, the age ratings are there for a reason. I would say a 13 year old should NOT be playing AC! Especially when he's a teenager now and still throwing temper tantrums. If his parents give in, they're only going to make things worse for themselves. Saying that, I like the supervising idea too. Either you can watch what he's doing, or he'll get so annoyed he won't play, haha!

I used to work with kids and they used to come in playing all sorts of wildly inappropriate games. I think for a lot of parents, they're just unwilling to educate themselves on the content of these games. There ARE good family friendly ones out there (Minecraft comes to mind), but they're few and far between, sadly.