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Cringe culture was mostly invented by people stuck in a high school mentality anyway. It takes a pretty big inferiority complex to want to target other people for having different hobbies or interests.I mean, I don't understand why people collect stamps, or action figures, or cars. But all power to them. It's their life.And if someone wants to dress like a rock star from the eighties and visit their local library (actually happened to me with a customer when I worked there), also, all power to them.Life is short. It should be full of things that make you happy, not chains laid down by other people who are not.
Growing up, I was full of internalized misogyny, and I did my best to be "not like the other girls." Which is really lame, since I missed out on so much. As an adult, I LOVE any and all things girly! Being a girl is nothing to be ashamed of.
I agree with the above.It also doesn't help because as autistic women we don't have those boxes in our head and don't really understand them. I think Zapper's points are not wrong, but I also think the autism complicates the situation here because of the different relationship between gender identity and the spectrum in general.
This too ^^.I feel like a woman should be able to make those calls for herself. That's part of being treated as a whole and equal human being.
i just wish people would mind their own business. whatever you like it's fine. just be kind to others. life is hard enough without the hatefulness.
I definitely agree with Zapper's point about marketing and how it encourages buying excessive amounts of clothes and makeup, etc. the marketing for "masculine" products feels just as gross or even grosser to me. we watch a lot of football and every other commercial is for "tough" trucks or hyper aggressive home improvement ads. and i'm constantly asking my partner what is going on with men? it's so obvious that they are trying to make it seem like you need to spend thousands of dollars to prove your manhood. i do live in Texas so maybe it's regional. but ugh. there are even doctor's offices and hair salons for men that are advertised in an aggressively "masculine" way. it's weird.i would prefer more gender neutral options. or for traditionally girly or boyish things to be less associated with certain genders. all of these gender norms and expectations are bad for everyone.i do feel like some of this is starting to change with younger people at least. i'm a geriatric millennial so when i was growing up it was more about the traditional gender roles. maybe some of the pushback is just people trying to hold on to their comfort zone. i just wish people would mind their own business. whatever you like it's fine. just be kind to others. life is hard enough without the hatefulness.
Quote from: Beth3346 on October 14, 2021, 04:21:16 PMI definitely agree with Zapper's point about marketing and how it encourages buying excessive amounts of clothes and makeup, etc. the marketing for "masculine" products feels just as gross or even grosser to me. we watch a lot of football and every other commercial is for "tough" trucks or hyper aggressive home improvement ads. and i'm constantly asking my partner what is going on with men? it's so obvious that they are trying to make it seem like you need to spend thousands of dollars to prove your manhood. i do live in Texas so maybe it's regional. but ugh. there are even doctor's offices and hair salons for men that are advertised in an aggressively "masculine" way. it's weird.i would prefer more gender neutral options. or for traditionally girly or boyish things to be less associated with certain genders. all of these gender norms and expectations are bad for everyone.i do feel like some of this is starting to change with younger people at least. i'm a geriatric millennial so when i was growing up it was more about the traditional gender roles. maybe some of the pushback is just people trying to hold on to their comfort zone. i just wish people would mind their own business. whatever you like it's fine. just be kind to others. life is hard enough without the hatefulness.Yeah one of the things my friend struggled with was because she was bullied to act more like a tomboy she was kind of gaslit into thinking that she was supposed to like violent things as well.She's in her 30's but needs much more care when it comes to her autism so I'm like a mental check in for her. Things do seem to be changing when it comes to being in other's business, we're at least aware that "cringe" is now just expressions of being oneself.
Quote from: DreamsofUnicorn on October 14, 2021, 09:16:13 PMQuote from: Beth3346 on October 14, 2021, 04:21:16 PMI definitely agree with Zapper's point about marketing and how it encourages buying excessive amounts of clothes and makeup, etc. the marketing for "masculine" products feels just as gross or even grosser to me. we watch a lot of football and every other commercial is for "tough" trucks or hyper aggressive home improvement ads. and i'm constantly asking my partner what is going on with men? it's so obvious that they are trying to make it seem like you need to spend thousands of dollars to prove your manhood. i do live in Texas so maybe it's regional. but ugh. there are even doctor's offices and hair salons for men that are advertised in an aggressively "masculine" way. it's weird.i would prefer more gender neutral options. or for traditionally girly or boyish things to be less associated with certain genders. all of these gender norms and expectations are bad for everyone.i do feel like some of this is starting to change with younger people at least. i'm a geriatric millennial so when i was growing up it was more about the traditional gender roles. maybe some of the pushback is just people trying to hold on to their comfort zone. i just wish people would mind their own business. whatever you like it's fine. just be kind to others. life is hard enough without the hatefulness.Yeah one of the things my friend struggled with was because she was bullied to act more like a tomboy she was kind of gaslit into thinking that she was supposed to like violent things as well.She's in her 30's but needs much more care when it comes to her autism so I'm like a mental check in for her. Things do seem to be changing when it comes to being in other's business, we're at least aware that "cringe" is now just expressions of being oneself. I find it pretty disturbing that she was encouraged to like violent things. Some parts of the internet are pretty scary.
What makes this so horrible for me is that people on the spectrum generally are more sensitive to the behaviour and mood of other people than someone not on the spectrum. We do have problems sometimes reading that mood correctly, but hostile energy, we pick up on very easily. It's also much harder to create a sense of 'self', I forget what it's called but there's some research that has proven that autistic people struggle to identify themselves and thus are more likely to build on the opinions or expectations of people outside. And this can be really dangerous, especially if the people outside are trash.It's really possible to create massive amounts of trauma in an autistic person from something that someone else might just laugh at and call a joke. Telling her that she would become evil for being 'girly' and had to change how she acted - given that people on the spectrum are constantly being told to change/act a certain way/conform/whatever...would have been traumatic.Just makes me sad as a fellow autistic person that she had to go through that, and I really hope she's able to come through it and find confidence in being herself. It would be really nice if people didn't put so much pressure on others to be something they aren't, basically. And gave them some time to figure out for themselves who they are...