Pony Talk > Off Topic

About Feminine things

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DreamsofUnicorn:
I have a friend who is much more higher needs Autistic than I am. She was bullied very hard in her younger years because she was "too girly" she just happened to wander into those unmoderated forum (Wrong Planet and such). Being friends with her has really changed how I view how media depicts girly-girls and feminine characters. I want to show her that more feminine people are good people and that there are more like her out there. I figured this topic is work discussing. 

BlackCurtains:
Are feminine people supposed to be bad? :huh: I know the "dumb blonde" trope and men who present feminine being seen as weaklings but I didn't know it was seen as a bad thing by some. I don't consider myself feminine, but I have no problem with people expressing themselves that way.

I'm not up on pop culture much either and don't follow influencers or anything trendy, so I don't know how helpful I can be :P

But there are a lot of strong feminine role models out there :) Angelina Jolie comes to mind. She's tough and plays tough characters, but is always made up and beautiful.

A thing to remind your friend of is that "things" are not gender exclusive. Clothing, make-up, colors, toys - everything is appropriate for anyone who wishes to express themselves that way. The same for activities and interests. Take this forum as example :) There are all kinds of people here and we all like ponies.

Media is really bad at trying to stick people into boxes, I'm afraid. TV and Movies are probably the worst. Things are slowly changing though. More people are being accepted than ever before, even if it doesn't seem like it at times. There's nothing wrong with being a "girly-girl" and it doesn't define a personality. I don't know much about toxic femininity like I do masculinity. Before now, I never gave it much thought, but it must exist. I know women are very good about putting down other women, and that's a real shame. We should all support each other, unless there is something going on that is dangerous.

DreamsofUnicorn:
link to a fascinating video under the spoiler
Spoilerhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDEOZqnJMqI&list=LL&index=15there are good role models starting to crop up, like pip!
my friend was on the internet at a time that was really toxic and it still effects her along with a bunch of other trauma that I am not gonna detail cus it's her business. 

BlackCurtains:
That was a fascinating video. It brings up a lot of good points.

Not saying it's okay, because it certainly isn't, but I think most of us get bullied at some point on the internet. Same with in school when we were younger. But just like the media portrayal of stereotypes is getting better, awareness of how bullying can cause long term harm (and in many cases, self harm) is growing in schools. Unfortunately, parts of the internet are still very toxic and probably will be for a long time. On the other hand, safe and accepting places will continue to exist as well :)

Taffeta:
I don't think there's anything wrong with being a girly girl. There is an argument for the idea that being ultra-feminine is demonised, on the other hand it does depend a bit on the culture you're looking at, plenty of other women are demonised for being themselves as well. It's more a case of being targeted for being different or standing out in some way.

The internet is getting progressively more polarised and more full of hate. I don't know if this is because people have got more hateful or just that the people who are unpleasant about differences in real life have learned how to use the internet and have now sucked all the joy out of the safe spaces there used to be.

You mentioned autism, and I am not sure how this feeds into the whole discussion, genuinely. As an autistic person myself, I have to wonder to what extent her experiences relate to people's generalised ableism around autistic people/expectations on what an autistic person is/should be/how they should act. Stereotypes around autism are often more male-dominated and I guess maybe people don't stop and think that someone with autism might be really girly and feminine, because of those stereotypes.

It is harder to be a girl with autism, generally, because most of the assumptions are so based on male experiences.

But then we're also often targeted for online bullying ("it's just a joke, stop overreacting :rolleyes:") and that can be pretty damaging for any autistic person, seeing how much more susceptible we are to negative energy than the average troll on the street.

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