The MLP Arena
Pony Talk => Off Topic => Topic started by: xTic_Tac_Toex on December 18, 2017, 12:23:45 PM
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This is something I think about a lot, and I'd love to know what other people think :)
I feel like society we're conditioned to believe we should behave in certain ways and like certain things based on our age and gender. Surely this starts from before we even know what is happening: girls are dressed in pink and boys are dressed in blue.
In a similar way, we're told that we should 'grow up' and stop liking toys at a certain age. In fact, I recently bought a Gazelle (from Zootropolis) doll from an eBay seller, who told me she was selling it because her 8 year old got it for her birthday but she was 'too old for it' :shocked: Personally I was very surprised at this, because I was still physically 'playing' with my toys until I was probably 12.
Now toys have a different purpose and meaning for me. Part of it is nostalgia but a lot of it is aesthetic. I suppose in the same way that someone might want to display a collection of antiques or collect spoons, I like to collect and display certain toys.
Throughout my life I have been made to feel like this is bad/weird by several people because I'm 'too old'. Toys are not my only hobby though - I also love vintage/antique clothing, sewing/making (which I do for a living now as a professional doll maker) and I also see caring for my two rabbits and playing with them a hobby, as it takes up so much of my time :) Renovating my new house has also become a hobby and something I invest a lot of time in. Sometimes toys will only get a fraction of my time per week or month compared to the other things I like doing, but the point is I always come back to them. They will always bring me meaning and enjoyment.
I'd like to know how other people feel about this topic, I'm sure similar things have been discussed before but it has been on my mind a lot lately so I'd like to open a discussion about it :)
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There was never really a period of me not doing anything with toys, so my family is used to it by now. People are usually very interested when I tell them that I collect ponies and I haven't had anyone demean me for it. I usually add in that I sort of rescue old ones with matted hair and clean them up, they tend to think that part more than anything is interesting.
I have sort of grown out of playing with them as toys, but I still make little headcanons for my ponies based on which ones I bought together or where I bought them. People do ask me if I play with them like toys if I just make mention that I collect them and don't clean them.
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The pressure to act more grown up in today's society is very strong. My niece was done with toys by the time she was 7. The only things she cares about are her ipad and iphone. I think that tech has altered the game a lot--provided that parents allow this, of course.
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Objects do not have age limits. The concept is yet another thing made up by people who feel the need to control others in menial ways. It’s kind of sad actually, I think we’d all be much happier in general if anybody could enjoy the happier things in life!
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I'd love to know what other people think
Oh honestly, who cares what other people think? If you enjoy something and it doesn't harm you or anyone else, then go for it. Yeah, there will always be people who think toys are something you outgrow, and for some people, that's true, but for other people it's not. We're different. Everyone is different. No one has to question their hobbies or qualify them with their other hobbies ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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I think it does depend on the child.
As a collector, I aim to experience the joy I felt as a child. Do I play with them? I wish I did still have capacity to play, but I enjoy the collecting instead.
I wish there wasn't the huge pressure to "grow up" for kids.
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It's interesting. A few years ago some of my nieces informed me that they were too old for Disney Princesses and only wanted Monster High dolls. Last year they wanted dolls from Frozen. So I think a lot of "too old" comes from what their friends are into and where their personal interests lie. My nieces and nephews know that while I am considered a "grown up" I play video games, collect My Little Ponies, color (I colored before the internet made it cool), and watch cartoons. They also know that I work full time, drive, pay my own bills, and pay taxes. I also have them convinced that Cinderella Castle at Disney World is my Summer Home. Their views of "adulthood" are varied because I am thrown into the mix. They see that they can be "grown up" and still like whatever they want. And they know that if they like something they can talk to me about it and I won't tease them for it or make them feel bad for liking it. My 14-year-old nephew and I have had some good discussions about how he can spend the money he made last summer working on a ranch. We've discussed putting away money for college and a car as well as buying the 2DS and Pokemon game he wanted.
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I'd love to know what other people think
Oh honestly, who cares what other people think? If you enjoy something and it doesn't harm you or anyone else, then go for it. Yeah, there will always be people who think toys are something you outgrow, and for some people, that's true, but for other people it's not. We're different. Everyone is different. No one has to question their hobbies or qualify them with their other hobbies ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I totally agree with you Luxrayx, I don't think anyone should have to justify why they collect what they collect or why it is interesting to them/makes them happy. When I said I want to know what other people think, I moreso meant that I'd like to hear other collector's experiences/opinions/points of view on the subject :)
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I think it does depend on the child.
As a collector, I aim to experience the joy I felt as a child. Do I play with them? I wish I did still have capacity to play, but I enjoy the collecting instead.
I wish there wasn't the huge pressure to "grow up" for kids.
^^this!
if a grown adult wants to sit and make their toys talk to each other like they did as a kid, hey good for you! but I think most of us just can't do that ;)
honestly I was playing with toys later than my peers. I played with my stuffed animals (I was a teacher and they were students!) into 12 years old. now I work in a toy store and when I recommend a stuffed animal for a kid over, like, 4, the customer is like, "oh they're too old for that" and I just???
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Objects do not have age limits. The concept is yet another thing made up by people who feel the need to control others in menial ways. It’s kind of sad actually, I think we’d all be much happier in general if anybody could enjoy the happier things in life!
Very well said!
I really don't get why people feel the need to judge others for enjoying toys (or anything for that matter, but staying on topic...) other than towing the societal line, but fortunately I've managed to mostly get past bothering about what narrow-minded people think. At the end of the day, my little bundle of toys makes me happy, and that's all that matters. Also, when you get right down to it, how is toy collecting any different from collecting ornaments or anything else? Choices are still made based on personal connections and aesthetic tastes, they're just made of different materials.
My collection in a way kind of provides a little relief from the needless pressure of adult life in general, as it brings back memories of the carefree times I had as a kid and also acts as a little touchstone to remind me just to take off the doom-tinted spectacles every once in a while. Some of my favourite toys also have associations with my other interests, like a Beanie Boo grim reaper called Suzanne; I took her to a Creeper concert (she was peeking out of my jacket pocket the whole time, seemed to amuse the ticket checkers in a nice way) the band played 'Suzanne', so for me she relates to my love of music (spooky and otherwise!) I reckon she might have caught some lucky vibes from being there when her namesake song was played; she certainly brings back some great memories and that is a million times more important than what some judgemental snot might think (y'know, not to put too fine a point on it.) ;)
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This is something I think about a lot, and I'd love to know what other people think :)
I feel like society we're conditioned to believe we should behave in certain ways and like certain things based on our age and gender. Surely this starts from before we even know what is happening: girls are dressed in pink and boys are dressed in blue.
Interestingly, pink used to be for boys and blue for girls. Blue used to be considered too feminine for boys. You can see an example with this in Disney's Lady and the Tramp, and its sequel. At the end of the original, which was done in the 50s, the little boy was dressed in pink pjs at the end. I was always confused by this as a child and thought that the baby was a boy. In the sequel, which is much more recent, the baby is dressed in blue pjs. I didn't really think of this until my sociology teacher told us about these colors, and I then remembered L&tT.
When I was a tween, I started to get the feeling that I should be "too old" for toys and actually gave my younger cousin my MLP collection for a few years until I came to my senses, lol. Some people have made comments regarding my toys over the years which I am now happy to brush off. My family does not make comments anymore, in fact my mom brags when I find toys that I can sell for a profit. My friends take it in stride, of course. They have their own niche interests too.
My nieces were not into toys very long either. One is just turned 11 and the other is 7. It's all about sports and tech now. The only toys that they really have stayed interested in is Barbie. They have also always been more into clothes than I ever was at their age. It was always really difficult to shop for them for gifts. My husband and I will be making a point to not have our kids addicted to tech.
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I really don't get why people feel the need to judge others for enjoying toys (or anything for that matter, but staying on topic...) other than towing the societal line, but fortunately I've managed to mostly get past bothering about what narrow-minded people think. At the end of the day, my little bundle of toys makes me happy, and that's all that matters. Also, when you get right down to it, how is toy collecting any different from collecting ornaments or anything else? Choices are still made based on personal connections and aesthetic tastes, they're just made of different materials.
years ago when I told my aunt that I collect ponies, she was basically like, "but they're useless, what do you even do with them?" and my answer was basically that I enjoy them. then I pointed out that she collects coffee mugs from everywhere she goes and she said that those had a purpose. THEN I commented that it's very common to collect dolls, and she said, "well I think that's silly too."
whatever though. I can see if people don't "get it" but to be so close-minded that you think it's completely stupid, I just don't understand that.
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I honestly feel very insecure sometimes about my collection, especially as I do not just collect ponies but I also have dollhouses, stuffed animals, stickers and hair bows! I think that it is not only a hobby that brings me joy, but it also helps me cope with my anxiety and stress -just like video games or wood carving do for other people.
I think that C.S Lewis really said it best:
“Critics who treat 'adult' as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development. When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.”
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Of course not! The idea of "getting to old" to love a thing that you like (show, toy, game, etc) has always been such an odd concept to me. Why let your age get in the way of you enjoying collecting something or getting enjoyment out of shows or games? It's ridiculous.
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I agree that the pressure to grow up is extreme in today’s society. We are pressured to stop liking things at certain ages. Stop liking your soother at age X, stop liking toys at age Y, get a boyfriend/girlfriend at age Z. Look, I’m a 16 year old girl who has been mistaken for a 25 year old. I still play with toys and still collect stuffed animals. My great grandma did this! And she was 90 when she died! Collected old toys and stuff until she died! Just because someone tells you to grow up doesn’t mean you have to. Go at your own pace and treat others with the same respect that you would want.
Sure, you have to stop behaving like a rude little child at a point and be responsible, but you don’t have to stop liking something because you’re too old.
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I think another thing to consider is enjoying toys in an age-appropriate manner. children play with their toys by acting out scenes, pretending they're real, whatnot. almost no adult collectors do that. in the "do you play with your ponies" thread, people said that we enjoy our toys by taking/sharing photos, cleaning/upkeeping them, organizing them, etc. not that it's anyone's business if you DO act out little scenes of ponies talking to themselves, but there is nothing wrong with enjoying toys in an age-appropriate manner.
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Peer discussion often brings out many issues in childhood that the MLP are an "escape" from, even as adults when we haven't escaped those feelings. Many of us had broken families, bad parents, childhood illnesses, etc. that caused us to latch onto our toys.
BUT if one does grow past feelings and emotions and issues, then one should be in a healthy place to be INSPIRED and MLP will bring JOY for its simplicity, but... collecting shouldn't be used as a replacement for therapy IF one really does have issues they need to work through.
By their nature, toys are supposed to be role play tools to help us rehearse different scenarios in our minds. Most adults forget that... then they go spend money on a sports car LOL so they can pretend they are The Coolest Person on the Road.
I don't think any of us grow out of toys, per se... just the type of toy changes, because you can influence others more so with adult cars, computers, etc.
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Only if it's natural for a person to grow out of them. If they're still enjoying toys, let them.
Hit it right on the nose Sapphire Rain!
I loled at Cinderella's Castle being your "Summer Home." Pokeyonekenobie
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collecting shouldn't be used as a replacement for therapy IF one really does have issues they need to work through.
[ . . . ]
I don't think any of us grow out of toys, per se... just the type of toy changes, because you can influence others more so with adult cars, computers, etc.
ALL THIS! collecting of any sort is very very often due to nostalgia in some way or another, and that's okay, but it shouldn't be a coping mechanism in and of itself. iirc that can lead to hoarding behaviors? (since hoarding is a bad coping mechanism itself)
we almost always have toys. some people have tech, video games, cars, or even making art could be considered playing tbh.
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I really don't get why people feel the need to judge others for enjoying toys (or anything for that matter, but staying on topic...) other than towing the societal line, but fortunately I've managed to mostly get past bothering about what narrow-minded people think. At the end of the day, my little bundle of toys makes me happy, and that's all that matters. Also, when you get right down to it, how is toy collecting any different from collecting ornaments or anything else? Choices are still made based on personal connections and aesthetic tastes, they're just made of different materials.
years ago when I told my aunt that I collect ponies, she was basically like, "but they're useless, what do you even do with them?" and my answer was basically that I enjoy them. then I pointed out that she collects coffee mugs from everywhere she goes and she said that those had a purpose. THEN I commented that it's very common to collect dolls, and she said, "well I think that's silly too."
whatever though. I can see if people don't "get it" but to be so close-minded that you think it's completely stupid, I just don't understand that.
It is interesting, though. You brought up your aunt collecting mugs and she said they have a purpose. However, the TC mentioned that people collect stuff like spoons and they never actually use them, they're merely for collecting. I know this because my mom has a small collection of different kind of spoons that are purely collectibles.
If people collect spoons just to collect them, that is very much going against their actual purpose. So I don't understand why there would be a problem with people collecting toys.
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I think there's something to be said for the idea that males are typically allowed to "play" with toys throughout adulthood and that hobbies like building model trains are considered more socially acceptable than collecting ponies/dolls. It's almost as tho dolls are still seen by society as a child raising surrogate and that girls should "grow up, find a husband, and make babies" once they get a certain age which is garbage.
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I don't think kids should be pressured into 'growing out of' toys, but I also think it's natural that most kids do. Because at a certain age most kids have a desire to become more "grown up", and for many kids this means separating themselves from the things they associate with childhood (i.e. toys.) In my school kids hit this around 4th and 5th grade.
I was a kid who still valued and played with toys when I was 12, and I fully support anyone (kid or not) who still plays with toys. But at the same time, I don't think every kid who declares they're "too old for [toy name]" is being 'pressured' into it. Ultimately a lot of kids who give up their toys never look back or feel any regret, even if they feel nostalgic about their toys years later.
(I've also seen a few cases in the MLP community where a parent and child collected ponies jointly, but eventually the kid sort of felt 'obligated' to continue collecting even after they'd lost interest, and finally told the parent they wanted to stop. So you have to be sensitive in both directions about not pressuring kids. Personally I think it's better for a kid to have toys where their interest in it is all THEIRS, not a joint venture with the parents. JMO.)
It truly depends on the individual! If collecting toys makes you happy, then go for it. :)
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I discussed this with my therapist a while ago concerning my own childhood. I often heard my mum say that I was to old for different toys, hairstyles etc. and I often felt like I was not good enough.
My Therapist had a good Point saying that Many parents biggest fears is that their Child will be outside the social Community. That explained a lot to me.
I Think I would grow up with a much better selfesteem if she had encouraged me to be myself instead. But offcourse I Think she did her best at that time.
So my answer is No we shall never grow out of toys!
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I think there's something to be said for the idea that males are typically allowed to "play" with toys throughout adulthood and that hobbies like building model trains are considered more socially acceptable than collecting ponies/dolls. It's almost as tho dolls are still seen by society as a child raising surrogate and that girls should "grow up, find a husband, and make babies" once they get a certain age which is garbage.
Depends on what collecting community your in as well.
In the model horse community for example, there are a lot of chicks. Though there are still plenty of guys. There is a lot of play.
People photograph, customize, make use of props, accessories, figures and dioramas, assign pedigrees, even to the point of using real horses for the parents of their horses, compete in photo shows and real life show for ribbons and awards, create entire family lines and breeding stock. Sometimes from there literal prize winners.
Quite a few of these people, sink serious cash into this hobby. As much as any guy could.
That sounds like a community that brazenly refuses to give up their play.
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I was very fortunate that I wasn't forced to give up any of my toys before I was ready. A childhood friend was told by her mom one morning that she had to sell all of her toys at a garage sale that day with no warning.
I stopped playing with ponies when I was around 13 or 14. I had them in a box and one of the last times I remember playing them a much younger person was also playing with them and said I "had to" brush their manes and tails everyday. They were my ponies so of course I wanted to decide when and how to play with them.
Now I love taking photographs of my ponies and posing them. :)
Ponyfan
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Well I can say that the whole "buying material goods which have no purpose just to put them on a shelf" doesn't really... go along with the rest of how I live my life. But hey, so long as I'm having fun I will continue.
I do, however, have some strong feelings about this "being too old for toys" thing. I am an elementary school teacher and I work with students in many different grades. I have noticed that they say they are too old for toys VERY early, around 8 or even younger! Physical toys are replaced with games, youtube, and time spent on the ipad. I have noticed that it is an IMMENSE struggle for them to use their imaginations! They have an extremely difficult time coming up with ANYTHING on their own. I think this is severly detrimental to their writing and critical thinking skills if from an early age they are only consuming what is already made (games, videos) and not making up their own stories. I think that imaginative play is so important and kids today are often missing out.
Some background: I "played" with toys well into my early teens; there was a gradual transition from completely imaginitive play (acting out stories, I do miss having the imagination to do this!) to building dioramas and making miniatures. Both of my parents are creative sorts and my dad especially enjoyed building different things and helping me with my creations. I also did well in several classes through building models and dioramas (which felt like "play") to me. So long story short, I guess I've never been too old for this sort of hobby. I do wonder if my interest in toys specifically from my childhood may wane as I age, but I feel like I will always have the interest in miniatures and model horses!
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I grew up with a bad home life, thus I often say I didn't have a childhood just mini adulthood. So yes toys in a way are giving myself the childhood I never had. It also gives me the ability to have my own belongings beyond the necessities. That are mine full stop, something I never had growing up. With the resurgence State side of nearly all things 80s retro. I'm finding that when I say I collect Transformers/Star Wars hardly anyone bats an eye.
Saying I collect vintage MLP and Disney specifically Princess related. That gets me odd looks thus I don't often disclose that I do. Especially since I started transitioning (I'm ftm) because I've found it undermines my gender. It's also interesting what an item codes as; retro G1 adult t-shirt,high end retro G1 purse/bag, adult sized shirt with Transformers/Star Wars logos,high end Disney collectibles. All of that codes clearly for the adult collector in mind. I'm not saying nobody would get crap for that but personally it's less.
Also, it's interesting and annoying the assumption that if someone collects toys that person must be lacking in knowing how to adult. When I say I live on my own,pay my bills,go to college..it shuts people up. But only if I make it clear that I do those things. When someone questions that my maturity must be lacking I say all the people that have created the things we love. Are adults who are full of creativity and ambition to bring those things to life. It's their job to do so.
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This is a really interesting topic and one I think about from time to time.
I'm 35, my sister is 30. The other week when it snowed, we took ponies out in the snow and took photos of them. Naynie even built a 'snow pony' for them. We are both of the persuasion that you grow older, but growing up or growing out of things is a state of mind.
For me personally...
I have found it easier to be open with my collections as an adult now than as a teenager, when I felt I had to hide the ponies away in the wardrobe when friends came over. I think that at that age it's a lot more insecure - whereas now, I'm an adult making my own decisions and I stopped caring so much what others might think.
Also, there's another factor in this for me with MLP.
I have other collections and have over time collected and dispersed other things. I used to have Keypers and Shera, aside one or two they have all gone now. I have Monster High and Jem, but specific MH dolls and my Jem dolls are confined to their own cabinet, no exceptions. If I had to make a choice to keep only one collection, it would be MLP. This is mainly because I had them so young I don't remember not having them, and they often marked important events in my life growing up.
I'm also autistic. I was diagnosed as an adult in 2005. From that point my attitude towards the world changed from feeling like I was constantly fighting everything to reassessing who I was, what I wanted and what was important to me.
Collecting MLP taught me a lot of things in the time before my diagnosis. I was bullied online by some unpleasant people, which taught me that sharing the same interest as someone else didn't mean they would be my friend. That may seem obvious but to an idealistic teenage autistic girl with absolutely no clue, it was a harsh wake up call. On the other hand, going to pony meets and carboot sales and things like that helped me to find some courage to go out there and meet people who did share my interests. I dunno if this is true for other autistic ponypeople, but I have always found it hard to define or explain aspects of my own self, and have always tended to rely on other people's opinions of things more than I really should. But ponies I guess have always been there alongside me, no matter what. In 2003 I even graduated with a pony (Rainbow Dash I).
This year, I went to Japan. I was really scared about the flight and things beforehand. My sister bought me Fluttsi because she felt that Fluttsi would bring me luck. Taking Fluttsi around Japan was fun and it helped me to get used to the different environment and settle in more quickly.
When we look back, my family and I, we all agree that in general collecting MLP has helped me to be able to do the things I do now. Studying at university, doing my third degree, travelling...all of those things come from building a self-confidence that I never had as a child and really struggled to build. I guess what I'm saying is that the way I appreciate ponies has changed, but my love for them never will. I don't think that it's always about growing out of something, but how the way you appreciate that something changes as you grow up.
I still mess around and take photos of ponies and I find brushing their hair is soothing - I always did as a child and that has stuck with me. But I actually pity people whose worlds are so small they are afraid of something as harmless as collecting toys. It does nobody any harm, so long as the money spent is not meant to be spent on something more vital (food, rent, power etc). I think the problem is with society.
But as a person with autism, I think most problems are with society, and their fear of things they don't understand.
What is interesting in my case is that the more academic or 'adult' I am in something (such as presenting at a conference or submitting something for my thesis or whatever), the more I then want to interact with my ponies or my dolls and just chill. I think I realised that my brain associates them with relaxing and that's a good thing.
In general
I think that it's a fallacy that any human being ever actually outgrows the concept of play or imagination. Or if they do, they probably don't have much of it in the first place. I mean, I write, and I know a lot of other collectors also write. Writing is also exercising the imagination, it is just considered in a more respectable manner by (most) people. A lot of people who criticise collecting toys probably go to the cinema to watch a movie or play video games. Again, those are considered respectable. Even going to see a cartoon movie in some respects.
I saw a documentary a while ago where they were talking about someone who'd committed some crime and one of the people talking was all like, "he had all these toy cars in his room, so we knew he wasn't normal." That annoyed me. The two things are not connected. Having a room full of toys doesn't mean someone is going to commit a crime or is somehow 'wrong'.
I think the problem is society is governed by a narrow strand of extremely insecure people who decide what is and isn't acceptable. And the larger part of society is so afraid of seeming odd that they go along with those parameters. It's easier to judge than to risk being judged.
One other thought. As Wardah said, it's a lot more respectable to collect 'boy' toys than 'girl' toys. I've noticed that most of the compilation TV shows about toys of the past focus on 'boy' toys and have guys going on about them...then there'll be a little condescending section on some toy girls liked (like MLP) and then back to awesome 'boy' toys. I put those in '' because I don't believe in gendering toys, but other people do, including toy stores.
Girls are apparently expected to grow up and boys are not. That's what I take from that.
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I grew up with a bad home life, thus I often say I didn't have a childhood just mini adulthood. So yes toys in a way are giving myself the childhood I never had. It also gives me the ability to have my own belongings beyond the necessities. That are mine full stop, something I never had growing up. With the resurgence State side of nearly all things 80s retro. I'm finding that when I say I collect Transformers/Star Wars hardly anyone bats an eye.
Saying I collect vintage MLP and Disney specifically Princess related. That gets me odd looks thus I don't often disclose that I do. Especially since I started transitioning (I'm ftm) because I've found it undermines my gender. It's also interesting what an item codes as; retro G1 adult t-shirt,high end retro G1 purse/bag, adult sized shirt with Transformers/Star Wars logos,high end Disney collectibles. All of that codes clearly for the adult collector in mind. I'm not saying nobody would get crap for that but personally it's less.
Also, it's interesting and annoying the assumption that if someone collects toys that person must be lacking in knowing how to adult. When I say I live on my own,pay my bills,go to college..it shuts people up. But only if I make it clear that I do those things. When someone questions that my maturity must be lacking I say all the people that have created the things we love. Are adults who are full of creativity and ambition to bring those things to life. It's their job to do so.
:hug:
The last quote about creative ambitious adults are beautiful and true.
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Urgh. Growing out of things is a natural way of being, but not everything needs to be grown out of. God my MIL grows out of things faster than anyone I've ever met. She 'grows out of' her furnishings, her collections, and frustratingly even sometimes her pets. (that last one drives me INSANE. Pets are FOR LIFE.) But you don't HAVE to grow out of things. It's a very subjective thing, and it's an important part of who we are as people. I never grew out of ponies. I went wide of them for a few years, but I ALWAYS loved them, and never considered myself 'too old' for them, or 'over' them at all.
Social stereotypes drive me crazy. Every interest I've ever had has been questioned by the 'target demographic' so to speak. People think I'm 'too old' for toys and games. I've been interrogated by bearded men in the music aisles for my love of metal, by gamers and otakus for my gaming and manga/anime interests, heck even my husband's uncle (an IT consultant) was shocked that I'd already ruled out all of his suggestions when my FIL's PC wouldn't go online, because he didn't think a girl with only self-taught computer knowledge could possibly know that much about diagnosing complex computer network issues. People were floored at my debut when they found out that it was the skinny 16 year-old girl in a white dress that was the contract cattle musterer that the local farmers been talking about, and not the boy on her arm. Stereotypes be damned, I'm a walking contradiction, and I'll like what I want. I've always been different to how people expect, and I think that's why my name suits me so well. I pick up everyone's assumptions and throw them around the place. I only wish more people had the courage to be themselves for all to see - maybe the world would be a better place!
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At Stormness. They're just jealous cuz your awesome.
How does one grow out of pets? I can understand being incompatible personality wise but they're a responsibility.
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^^ Urgh, usually she just takes on more than she can viably afford/fit in her home in the future, even though she's aware of that fact, she just chooses to ignore it for the short-term gratification. Then she has to re-home them. It drives me crazy. Don't get pets you know you can't keep! Also her interests change frequently in every aspect of her life, and pets are no exception... so she'll re-home all her chickens to get ducks, then sell those to get parrots, then decides she'd prefer finches.. then she misses the eggs so she's back to chickens. Grrr... PICK SOMETHING! Right now she's got chickens and ducks, as well as some parrots. She's thankfully not pursuing dog breeding at the moment, and both her dogs are desexed. They are getting old however, and I pray that when they pass she doesn't get back on that bandwagon again. My SIL moving back in with all her animals (2 dogs and several chickens) is restricting her somewhat at the moment, but for that I'm actually a little thankful, even if my SIL is a total bum. No more pets!
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Until recently I would have said "Of course not!" But now I'm not sure anymore. That is, collecting and loving toys is more than fine. Who doesn't love to relive the past now and then when things get tough? You can find so much comfort in bringing your childhood memories back to life. And that's absolutely fine.
HOWEVER. I noticed a disturbing trend in popular culture the last couple of years. Being a big child is something that seems to be heavily promoted nowadays. Items with prints that say "I'm a unicorn" or "I don't want to adult", comics all over the internet that reflect how so many of us are not ready to be an adult, and sooooooo much Disney/Potter/Pony/Pooh clothing everywhere. For grown-ups, yes. Nothing wrong with wearing that stuff, I enjoy my pony pajamas too, but it's SO. EXTREME.
I find it quite alarming to see how this generation seems to be avoiding adulthood. Of course you have to keep the child inside of you alive too, at least to me that's very important. But let's not forget that WE are the adults now, there's no going back. Our children need responsible adults they can rely on, just like we did. :huh:
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Until recently I would have said "Of course not!" But now I'm not sure anymore. That is, collecting and loving toys is more than fine. Who doesn't love to relive the past now and then when things get tough? You can find so much comfort in bringing your childhood memories back to life. And that's absolutely fine.
HOWEVER. I noticed a disturbing trend in popular culture the last couple of years. Being a big child is something that seems to be heavily promoted nowadays. Items with prints that say "I'm a unicorn" or "I don't want to adult", comics all over the internet that reflect how so many of us are not ready to be an adult, and sooooooo much Disney/Potter/Pony/Pooh clothing everywhere. For grown-ups, yes. Nothing wrong with wearing that stuff, I enjoy my pony pajamas too, but it's SO. EXTREME.
I find it quite alarming to see how this generation seems to be avoiding adulthood. Of course you have to keep the child inside of you alive too, at least to me that's very important. But let's not forget that WE are the adults now, there's no going back. Our children need responsible adults they can rely on, just like we did. :huh:
Hardly extreme. Those shirts are all in good fun. Your looking too deeply into a joke if you think that shirts are alarming.
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I wouldn't call it alarming per se, just kind of childish (as opposed to young-at-heart). it's definitely just a joke but it's such an oversaturated joke now that it's cringey. millennials tend to stay "younger" longer than previous generations. I think part of it is that we just don't care, and part of it is that it's hard to feel like an adult when you can barely afford food and rent and work a crappy job-- which is a huge problem for this generation!
that said, I would never go back to being a kid! I absolutely love my 30s, and I love the total agency I have over my own life.
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Yes, that's the biggest issue, that it's so overused. To see it here and there is fun, but to see it everywhere is just going to far. It stopped being cute 500 shirts and 700 comics ago. I get that it's just a joke, but I'm just starting to wonder where we will end up if it's "okay" to be a big kid for the rest of your life. [/killjoy] :lookround:
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Totally agree with you Broken Irishwoman .
Come ON!!! we even call dealing with Reality, "Adulting" now. ;)
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Yes, that's the biggest issue, that it's so overused. To see it here and there is fun, but to see it everywhere is just going to far. It stopped being cute 500 shirts and 700 comics ago. I get that it's just a joke, but I'm just starting to wonder where we will end up if it's "okay" to be a big kid for the rest of your life. [/killjoy] :lookround:
Okay so? Lots of things are overused. There are far worse things that are becoming commonplace or are already commonplace in the world that go straight into horrifying, atrocious, sickening, tragic, senseless and infuriating then a bunch of shirts with silly messages and adults owning toys that people worry about.
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Yes, that's the biggest issue, that it's so overused. To see it here and there is fun, but to see it everywhere is just going to far. It stopped being cute 500 shirts and 700 comics ago. I get that it's just a joke, but I'm just starting to wonder where we will end up if it's "okay" to be a big kid for the rest of your life. [/killjoy] :lookround:
I can see where you're coming from Broken Irishwoman. I feel like people in their 20s and 30s are struggling (at least in the UK) because it's really hard to get your foot on the property ladder and actually own your own home, because the housing market has inflated atrociously. A lot of people have to live with their parents out of necessity (I myself had to for 7 months after graduating) - this in itself can make you feel like you're still just a kid with few responsibilities :/
However, I also feel like a lot of people my age deliberately neglect their adult responsibilites. I remember at university, being pretty shocked by everyone's lack of respect for the kitchen and common room, and general wasteful attitudes.
Not really linked to toys at all, but I get that these kinds of 'memes' seen on t-shirts could be doing more bad than good. They probably are just innocent fun overall...but I can definitely related to what you're saying here.
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Yes, that's the biggest issue, that it's so overused. To see it here and there is fun, but to see it everywhere is just going to far. It stopped being cute 500 shirts and 700 comics ago. I get that it's just a joke, but I'm just starting to wonder where we will end up if it's "okay" to be a big kid for the rest of your life. [/killjoy] :lookround:
Okay so? Lots of things are overused. There are far worse things that are becoming commonplace or are already commonplace in the world that go straight into horrifying, atrocious, sickening, tragic, senseless and infuriating then a bunch of shirts with silly messages and adults owning toys that people worry about.
I agree with you here. The popular Culture is very innocent relative to other problems in the World. Also for me it´s two different things how people dress and how they are as persons.
Ivé met a lot of Young people in my job and many of them are much wiser than older people Ivé met even thow some of them like Disney, manga or whatever.
I´m in the over 35 generation and can´t see that people my age doesn´t want to grow up. Many including myself have lived a adult Life for a long time with own appartments, houses, relations, jobs, Children etc.
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I agree that there are bigger problems in the world, however (and maybe I'm taking this too far), I think it's still connected, to some extent. If staying a big kid is being promoted, and people get more and more comfortable like that, who will take responsibility for anything?
Like I said, I may be taking this too far, but I do see a connection. Maybe not the way it is now, but if this trend continues to grow, I really believe it can be harmful in the long run.
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I remember being 11 or 12 when my parents told me that when I turn 13, I'd grow out of toys. They said I'd become more interested in clothes and jewelry. Well, I'm still into toys, and while I do enjoy shopping for graphic tees, I can't say that I'm into fashion. After all, my regular outfit is a graphic tee from a movie or series I like, a pair jeans, and sneakers.
I certainly do not think we should have to grow out of toys. Sure, we don't have to play with them as adults, but we can still enjoy them for what they are. Toys can be just as fun to look at and collect as it is to play with them.
I used to be embarrassed when I told people I collect My Little Ponies, but recently I've learned to be somewhat happy to tell others and sometimes even show them my collection. If they think it's weird, who cares? My hobby has brought me so much happiness and I think that's way more important than what society wants everyone to be.
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I think part of the reason people in their 20s and 30s are struggling to find an adult identity is that there's less of a set social 'pattern' than there was in times past. Which I see as a positive thing rather than a negative overall.
That and the fact that a lot of people have trouble hitting the 'adult' social targets that DO still exist, like buying your own home or getting a 'real' job (as opposed to a fast food job or whatever). And it's not their fault on that front . . . it's tough to find 'real' (permanent) jobs even with training in a lot of areas and housing prices are through the roof in many places. I am 38 and renting, with a roommate, in a city where the median house prices is $725,000 and the rent for a studio is usually more than $1300 a month. This expensive housing leads to a lot of adults continuing to live with their parents, and it's reeeeally hard to change the "child-parent" dynamic to "adults on an equal footing" dynamic . . . which leads to people feeling like they haven't grown up.
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I agree that there are bigger problems in the world, however (and maybe I'm taking this too far), I think it's still connected, to some extent. If staying a big kid is being promoted, and people get more and more comfortable like that, who will take responsibility for anything?
Like I said, I may be taking this too far, but I do see a connection. Maybe not the way it is now, but if this trend continues to grow, I really believe it can be harmful in the long run.
Ok I guess we have different views about it. But I agree with your explanation Lady Moondancer, it´s not easy for Young people finding a way of living as adults today. It depends on the society and lots of other things like were you live for example.
Ivé worked as a counsellor a long time and helped a lot of Young people finding their first job which offcourse is a very important start of being an adult. :)
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I agree that there are bigger problems in the world, however (and maybe I'm taking this too far), I think it's still connected, to some extent. If staying a big kid is being promoted, and people get more and more comfortable like that, who will take responsibility for anything?
Like I said, I may be taking this too far, but I do see a connection. Maybe not the way it is now, but if this trend continues to grow, I really believe it can be harmful in the long run.
I actually feel quite upset by this, but I realise that's probably my personal experiences coming through. I do see your point on it, but I don't think that has anything to do with adults having toys. You're talking about people dodging their responsibilities, thinking of themselves rather than other people, and acting like they're still kids. To me the skills to understand responsibility, empathy, communication, etc all come from play with toys as kids. If anything, kids lose that opportunity too early because of mobile phones and computer games and social media as young as seven or eight. If you don't let a child develop their imagination when they are young, they won't cope with society as adults. Then you get the problem you're talking about - but whether they have toys or not doesn't mean anything.
As a person with autism, one of the most damaging things that people with autism suffer is society deciding when people should grow up, when it's appropriate to do x or y, and also that you have to do one or the other, and can't just do both. I had to hide my pony collection as a teenager, because I didn't need to be more bullied than I was. I had friends at school, but if they had known about my ponies, then maybe they wouldn't have been my friends. I pulled back and didn't really trust them. Having toys didn't make that happen. The expectations of society as to when it's ok to have toys or otherwise did. It left me feeling helpless and broken as a person, like I was somehow wrong and that's really hard to shake. Now, as an adult, I am not hiding my collection. Having my collections and having people who share those interests has actually helped me hugely as a person and allowed me to become an adult. But those experiences did damage to me growing up. It took me a long time to realise the thing that was wrong was society, not having ponies. And what you're talking about is also not toys, but society.
Everyone grows up at their own pace, and has their own challenges to deal with. But I see no connection between having toys and not being responsible for one's actions.
As a person with autism, it frustrates me that society wants to make itself less connected to each other's lives. The increase in social media means that being friends now means ticking a button online, and it's apparently okay to leave death threats on social media of people you don't agree with. This is a really deep and big social problem, but nobody is actually addressing it. If you give your baby a mobile phone or a tablet to play games on instead of a box or a teddy or something which requires them to think out their own game, then how are they going to think out their own situation going forward as adults, deciding on university or on juggling costs and bills and real life? Toys are a good and necessary part of our lives. If people aren't growing up, it's because someone gave them tech which encourages them to watch cat videos rather than go and talk to real people.
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I think the whole "don't wanna adult" thing has very little to do with liking toys and cartoons. The opposite of "adulting" isn't being a playful child at heart but a lazy slug who stays in bed on social media. Being stuck at college student, almost adult but not quite level.
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Okay, so maybe my point wasn't a perfect fit for this thread. This is just something that has been bothering me for a while, from the moment I started to notice that the whole "I don't want to adult" attitude is on the rise. When this thread was started, I thought it was the perfect opportunity to address this, because to me it seems like it's closely related, even though it isn't directly about toys. I just felt that the topic title could also be interpreted as "Could it potentially be harmful to stick to your childhood too much?"
My bad. :)
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I'm the perpetual child. I've had relationships break down because apparently I'm "too immature"... but that's just my personality - like it or lump it! I have a job, bills, etc, and in no way do I avoid my responsibilities... I'm just a fun-loving person. I'm perfectly capable of living like an "adult" is expected to, but I choose not to. I choose to work to live, not live to work. I chose to avoid the corporate life in order to be able to switch off and live at the end of the work day without work stress interrupting my home life. I chose to collect toys rather than dresses and shoes.. because for the most part I like them better, and I don't care what people think. And while I'm sure that there are plenty of people who prefer to go that other route, I'm not one of them, and I refuse to be judged for it. I'm no less of an adult. I'm physically an adult. I still vote, work, pay taxes, and contribute to society, I just do it with my own style.
I'd totally wear one of those shirts, because some of the ones I've seen fit my lifestyle pretty well. I don't 'adult' in the traditional form.. and I chose to view that as funny and laugh, and keep on enjoying my life, rather than getting bitter that the world doesn't understand me, or force myself to conform to societal norms. Sure there are bums, drains on society. Always has been, always will be, no amount of societal changes will fix that. The fact that our culture is changing is a good thing, bringing acceptance and happiness to many people who don't 'fit the mould' so to speak. How many people are behaving 'like adults' because they feel pressured to? I personally think that's a bad thing. It's exactly like the pressure on men to be 'manly', it's damaging to their mental health and self-esteem. The pressure can be overwhelming! Yes some people stick to their childhood, and it can be an issue. But most of us are just addicted to nostalgia, and it's not hurting us or anyone else.
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Okay, so maybe my point wasn't a perfect fit for this thread. This is just something that has been bothering me for a while, from the moment I started to notice that the whole "I don't want to adult" attitude is on the rise. When this thread was started, I thought it was the perfect opportunity to address this, because to me it seems like it's closely related, even though it isn't directly about toys. I just felt that the topic title could also be interpreted as "Could it potentially be harmful to stick to your childhood too much?"
My bad. :)
No, I totally understand what you are talking about. My friend and I were just talking about that exact thing a few months ago! I think that it has a lot to do with the millennial generation struggling, being poor and not being able to afford the bare minimum. All that comes with being an adult as a millennial and so they long to go back to the childhood days where they don't have to worry about bills and crippling debt and 2017 as a whole.
Add social media into the mix and connect everyone together and you get flooded with nostalgia and ads marketing to that dreamy childhood nostalgia.... and then comes all the unicorn and mermaid stuff marketed towards both children and adults because both can relate to it. Th millenial generation is on the cusp of adulthood in their 20s so many are either planning to have families or already have them, and what better way to grab the attention of consumers than to market to both them AND their children. Makeup trends right now are big into the unicorn mermaid stuff. Sailor Moon made a huge comeback recently too.
Of course, this is all good and well at face value but maybe a fraction, even if it's only a tiny miniscule fraction IS about adults not wanting to grow up and face the world. It's a double-edged sword. There does have to come a time where we must prioritize bills and each other over the material, but the "i dont want to adult today" mentality is just kind of damaging. We all grow up so fast and are trust into adulthood without ever really discovering ourselves, so we seek solace in these material possessions to comfort us. I know I do.
I also find myself holding back on displaying all my toys and figures and ponies in my room for fear of not feeling like an adult. I don't know what I am really trying to say...I guess what I am trying to say is a totally get what you were saying originally with your first post.
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Okay, so maybe my point wasn't a perfect fit for this thread. This is just something that has been bothering me for a while, from the moment I started to notice that the whole "I don't want to adult" attitude is on the rise. When this thread was started, I thought it was the perfect opportunity to address this, because to me it seems like it's closely related, even though it isn't directly about toys. I just felt that the topic title could also be interpreted as "Could it potentially be harmful to stick to your childhood too much?"
My bad. :)
No, I totally understand what you are talking about. My friend and I were just talking about that exact thing a few months ago! I think that it has a lot to do with the millennial generation struggling, being poor and not being able to afford the bare minimum. All that comes with being an adult as a millennial and so they long to go back to the childhood days where they don't have to worry about bills and crippling debt and 2017 as a whole.
Add social media into the mix and connect everyone together and you get flooded with nostalgia and ads marketing to that dreamy childhood nostalgia.... and then comes all the unicorn and mermaid stuff marketed towards both children and adults because both can relate to it. Th millenial generation is on the cusp of adulthood in their 20s so many are either planning to have families or already have them, and what better way to grab the attention of consumers than to market to both them AND their children. Makeup trends right now are big into the unicorn mermaid stuff. Sailor Moon made a huge comeback recently too.
Of course, this is all good and well at face value but maybe a fraction, even if it's only a tiny miniscule fraction IS about adults not wanting to grow up and face the world. It's a double-edged sword. There does have to come a time where we must prioritize bills and each other over the material, but the "i dont want to adult today" mentality is just kind of damaging. We all grow up so fast and are trust into adulthood without ever really discovering ourselves, so we seek solace in these material possessions to comfort us. I know I do.
I also find myself holding back on displaying all my toys and figures and ponies in my room for fear of not feeling like an adult. I don't know what I am really trying to say...I guess what I am trying to say is a totally get what you were saying originally with your first post.
This is really nicely put :) I can completely understand what you're saying and agree with you.
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PrincessNikki: You worded it so much better than I did. I completely agree with you! :)
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NEVER EVER!!!
growing old is enevitable but growing up? thats optional
Never surrender your toys until YOU are ready and no-one else.
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The fact that our culture is changing is a good thing, bringing acceptance and happiness to many people who don't 'fit the mould' so to speak.
If only that were true. Unfortunately, it mostly isn't. Individuals might be. Society isn't. And society ultimately has final say. That may sound bitter, but it's true.
I think there are still two distinct themes here being confused with one another - people not taking responsibility and people collecting toys. Sometimes those might overlap, but the problem is the first group, and the taint of that is being thrown at the other by society who assume buying toys means being irresponsible and self-centred.
Yesterday on the bus back from the station, I saw three people fare dodge and one person litter. This journey took 20 minutes? Today a guy did his scratch cards then tossed them all over the bus floor when they were useless. Do we think the reason those people do those things is because they like toys still or because they just think they're above everyone else and thus can do as they like? I think it's the second. I really don't like when people put toy collecting automatically in the same box as those individuals.
The OP asked about growing out of toys. That's not the same as not growing up to one's responsibilities in the world or even the need to treat other people with respect.
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I'm still a teenager, but i feel like i know quite a lot about how we says how kids should be, i have been bullied because i wasn't like the others.There shouldn't be an age limit for toys, in fact i feel that we want kids to grow up too fast, I don't think it's fine to give young kids ipads or stuff like that.I personnaly don't have any kind of story of how MLP saved my childhood or how it helped me get better like some of you (i didn't even like MLP until 4 years ago), but i still think it's important for me, i see my ponies as a symbol of how i learned to not give a damn about what people say about me if it isn't helpful.I like colorful ponies, i am in med school, i listen to metal....Then again i didn't have these problems in my family, i mean one of my favorite toys growing up was my mother's barbie doll, so i was always raised with the freedom to like what i want.I think it's important to raise a child like that and to not force them to be something they don't want to be.I probably would've hated med school if my parents forced me to do it.
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Heather sparkles made a very good video about this very subject. https://youtu.be/v-q1gx64JoU
Quite simpky: NO.
I can't stress this enough. Toys carry nostalgia. If someone is happy not growing out of toys, more power to them. So long as it doesn't harm others, its all good.
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I wish I stayed a kid a bit longer than I did. I still played with barbies at 10 and I remember some of my friends thinking that was weird. At 10! When we started junior high that part of life was ultimately ended and now decades later I think it's sad. I was a child for maybe 12 years and now I'll be an adult for the rest of my life and there's no way of going back. I couldn't play like I did as a kid even if I tried to. I guess that's why I collect MLPs. They're childhood nostalgia and collecting them is my adult version of playing with them. They're colourful, glittery and fun and still make me happy. :) Being an adult is boring sometimes so it's nice having something like that to spend some time on.
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I was skimming back over this thread and I just picked up on what Wardah said about being a college student but not yet an adult. I dunno what you guys did at college, but being back at university myself, I'd like to point out that being a PhD student isn't bumming around on social media instead of 'taking responsibility' and 'growing up'. Let's not generalise based on stereotypes.