Where do you go to make new friends as an adult?

[Zapper]

I needed some time to read and process all these suggestions, so thanks

Facebook... I have no FB and I guess that's a big problem nowadays. But I simply hate this kind of social media. The FB I would have would be a fake name, private and no info, and since that is not fair to people I'd potentially like to meet it makes no sense for me.

Meetup wa ssomething I didn't know existed and I checked it out. In my region there are only tech and IT related groups and two for men, so... fail. Of course I could make my own but it really seems like the website is used differently here.

I am also an atheist and thusly not part of a church, so no church activities for me.

I guess most of us agree that meeting new people via a hobby or interest is best.

A thing I haven't tried yet is the friendship app thing. I am kind of tired of dating apps (too many weird and creepy people) but I will put it on my list. Maybe friendship apps are different. Any recs (that are used globally)? I only know of Bumble.

Honestly, I tried looking for platonic friends with that OkCupid option but the only people I got where liars who were secretly aiming for more "adult" things, so that's another reason why I have to rule out males when it comes to this

I don't think I am shy. I am just not a person who clicks with everyone. Some people drain my energy. Some types of people.
Even when they are nice, I can often not stand to be around them for long. So, for me it's usually easy to determine quickly if I get along with someone or not.

Like, I put up an inquiry for a Pen & Paper group and already got a number of people who are interested. The problem is all of them are dudes I disliked within half an hour I used to do P&P with my friends a while ago and I can't fathom sitting for hours with a couple of people I dislike. In case of P&P you can't just test it for a while and then bounce. Once people are starting a story it's a hassle for the gamemaster to write your character out again and I don't want that negativity, so the glove needs to fit immediatly.

Another nerdy hobby I used to have that I took up again for a while was LARPing. Also did that with my friends. New people I met were nice but most were horny/disgusting guys.

The search continues.

Of course... my dream group/hobby would be something that wouldn't cost me much. I travelled really far for that LARP so that's something that won't come back anytime soon.

Guess my only chance is to make a group myself and that usually brings the stress of being the coordinator. I need to think it through some more.
I have always dreamt of coordinating an artist meet-up to work on an exhibition together but I can tell you, people are so lazy. They require you to do everything for them. Even court them

[Dragonflitter]

Don't give up! Just because you haven't found the right place yet doesn't mean you won't.

I was going to suggest OkCupid, but sounds like you tried that. I always liked that they have the option for people who just want to meet up for friendship, but it doesn't work if they are pressuring you for more than that. Don't give up!

[Zapper]

Don't give up! Just because you haven't found the right place yet doesn't mean you won't.

I was going to suggest OkCupid, but sounds like you tried that. I always liked that they have the option for people who just want to meet up for friendship, but it doesn't work if they are pressuring you for more than that. Don't give up!

Nah I'm not giving up. I am way too bored to just hang around myself. I need to meet people more than just once a week to power up my socializing battery.

Have you had any luck with OkCupid friends?
My issue is that a lot of women are shy or cowardly. They would rather not appear for meets or ghost me than say "hey, I don't think friendship will work out".

And guys are the opposite, they will string me along for friendship until suddenly they admit they are interested in "taking it further".
It's not like I am some kind of stunner but these men think friendship to a woman will always lead to more if they selected her on a dating app. Because d'uh, it's a dating app. Tork need woman!!! Tork hit woman with tree branch maybe then woman will love Tork. Good idea.

[LadyMoondancer]

On OKCupid "looking for friends" is sometimes short for "looking for casual hookups."  Just something to be aware of.  I tried to find platonic friends on OKC for a while before realizing that, LOL.  At the end of the day OKC is tough because it is a dating app and most people on it are looking for love, either long term or short term.

Edit:  If you do strike up a conversation with someone you like, be bold about saying "Hey, you seem cool, want to trade emails?"  (Or FB info, if you had Facebook.)  I mentioned that FB group I met a bunch of friends through, BUT I only found the FB group because 1) a random guy on a bus said "Hey, you're reading the IDW Transformers comic?  It's pretty good, isn't it!" and 2) I plucked up my courage and said "wAnT tO tRadE eMaiLs" in what felt like the most awkward way, and he was like "Sure!"  And then instead of forgetting or losing his email like I usually do, I emailed him that weekend and was like "Wanna meet and talk about Transformers?"  And we did, and after all THAT he mentioned the FB group.

I guess my point is be proactive because most people are not proactive, so do it yourself if you want it to get done.

[Dragonflitter]

Oh gee, now I feel silly, but yeah I can see how most people would probably try to use the "looking for friends" option as a way to subtly ask for casual stuff. 

I only used OKC for a short time before I realized I was Ace and then I closed my account, but I had always been impressed with a dating app that had the option to say you're just looking for friends. I am a bit naive when it comes to unstated things... 

Are you a reader, by chance? Some libraries and/or bookstores have a monthly book club where you all read the same book and then meet up once a month to discuss it. Might not sound that glamorous if you're not a reader, but at least it would give you a chance to meet a new group of people. And maybe after the book discussion is done you could strike up a conversation and see if anyone else has the same interests as you.

If you want to consider hanging out with people from your work after work hours, you could invite everyone to see a movie! I remember when I worked at Dairy Queen we would sometimes decide to go see a movie together, and they would pick a date and time and post it on the board in the back room. Then whoever showed up at the theater, showed up. No pressure.

@LadyMoondancer - You're so brave! Trading emails and making a new friend, I really admire you!

(I forgot what suggestions where in this thread before this so sorry if these are repeat suggestions )

[Barnacle_lady]

Do you have a petting zoo nearby? Thats also a nice social place to meet people who like animals.
And no social media required to get in touch.

[Zapper]

Do you have a petting zoo nearby? Thats also a nice social place to meet people who like animals.
And no social media required to get in touch.

This is a cute idea but I had free entry to my city's zoo for years (only place with petting zoo) and never met anyone worthwhile there. It's usually families, old folks and loner photographers.

I usually did sketches of the animals and often people would chat me up but only to ask why I was doing that. Last time I even had a condescending guy come up to me and be like "hey little lady, doing your homework?" and I deadfaced looked at him and replied "no, I am a 30 year old woman and this is my summer job" 

I know someone who met her boyfriend at the zoo, tho

Are you a reader, by chance? Some libraries and/or bookstores have a monthly book club where you all read the same book and then meet up once a month to discuss it.

(...)

If you want to consider hanging out with people from your work after work hours, you could invite everyone to see a movie!

I am starting to feel bad because none of your ideas apply to me but they are probably good advise for other people following this thread

I am not a reader and book club sounds like horror to me because it would require reading a whole book with a deadline in mind
I was part of a movie group but we disbanded because peoples tastes in movies were differing greatly. We were fighting all the time!

Also have zero co-workers rn because I am blessed with a home office. However, in the past I would avoid people from work after hours because I am always afraid once I know more about them I will dislike them and become unable to do teamwork with them.

I am starting to wonder if I am hypersensitive or something. Because being around people I hate literally makes me uncomfortable to a point I get physically sick and stuff. Talking about toxic work environments

Btw I noticed I socialize a lot with people at fleamarkets. But just as well, it never becomes a friendship. I talk to many people and I am friendly with lots of them but it leads nowhere.
In theory, finding people with similar interests would be easy but turning that into a thing is the hard part. It also seems like people here simply don't want to make new friends because they have their little circle and that's it.

Maybe the stereotype is true and Germans really are more closed off than other people. I remember I didn't have these issues in Italy or the US where I was an exotic foreigner and everybody wanted to be around me

[Pokeyonekenobie]

I associate with a lot of people but there aren't many that I consider to be true friends. I don't think that talking to someone twice makes us "besties" like some people I know. 

Have you tried going to a Comic Con near you?  If you're into "Nerd/Geek Culture" it might be a good place to run into people with the same interests that might at least start up a conversation.

Whenever I go on vacation to somewhere like Disneyland I always end up talking to people in line around me (assuming they're not glued to their FB page on their phone--so sad to pay hundreds of dollars to stand in line and look at your phone.  I wonder if I could cash in on that idea...) and my friend met Vince Vaughn that way.  So it might be worth a chat even if nothing more comes of it.  You never know, though.  You might run into someone multiple times and become friends.

Or you could do what one of my friends does.  Her philosophy is "Hug a stranger, make a friend."   

[Galactica]

How about taking a class?  I've taken jewelry making classes and writing classes-  which all could have led to friendships if I had put any effort into it   

[Zapper]

Have you tried going to a Comic Con near you?  If you're into "Nerd/Geek Culture" it might be a good place to run into people with the same interests that might at least start up a conversation.

I am not really into geek culture à la comic con.
I am into roleplay, costuming, acting, impro comedy kind of stuff so I do have an interest in cosplay and some of my friends are cosplayers. But it's not enough to spend a load of money to go to any of the big cons.

Or you could do what one of my friends does.  Her philosophy is "Hug a stranger, make a friend."   

LOL I hate getting hugged by strangers. Especially since they are always sweaty/stinky. No offense to your friend but that's my experience. Just people rubbing their smell on me

How about taking a class?  I've taken jewelry making classes and writing classes-  which all could have led to friendships if I had put any effort into it   

Expensive. I took classes when I was a student because for students everything is cheap. That's why I yearn for these days.

[brightberry]

I like to go to the local gaming store.  My personal favorite is Magic the Gathering.  But they also play Settlers and other random game selections.  Two different groups get together to play a Wrestling card game which is so out there for me.  But they get into costume, put on a wrestling show and break out the cards.  Honestly, they look like they're having a ton of fun.

[SpacePinto]

Or you could do what one of my friends does.  Her philosophy is "Hug a stranger, make a friend."   

Or "Hug a stranger, get a restraining order".

[Carrehz]

Or you could do what one of my friends does.  Her philosophy is "Hug a stranger, make a friend."   

Or "Hug a stranger, get a restraining order".

[Artemesia's Garden]

Socializing

Oh yes, that 

Erm, I've heard good things about meetup, too

[Honeycomb]

@Zapper, maybe a VHS class? Those aren't so expensive.