MLP history - Thanks for the help! :)

[Sunset]

Thanks, aquamarinemolly!  I really appreciate your imput 

Post Merge: July 27, 2018, 02:09:44 PM

So the only thing I'm concerned about now is the 1982/83 thing.  I know its been an ongoing debate.  To avoid that confusion, would it be inaccurate for the line to go like this?

"Going back to the drawing board, Hasbro launched My Little Pony the following fiscal year of 1982/1983."


Oh! and do y'all think I should replace the title with an image of the g1 logo?  or leave it as plain text?

[Baby Sugarberry]

Wouldn't hug-able and brush-able  be huggable and brushable respectively?  I've never seen them hyphenated like that, but maybe it's a regional thing? 

'Both flanks' may work better than 'either flank', as long as the rest is fixed to agree grammatically with the plural.

'My Pretty Pony which was a brown 16" hard plastic pony' - maybe 'toy' instead of 'pony' after hard plastic, since it's established by the name that it's probably a pony if you want to include the MPP description.

'...clothing, accessories, housewares...' is the average person going to know what 'accessories' means in terms of MLP, or is that just redundant?  Is there a better word that would be better understood?

I'd go with a graphic for the title.  Pictures help draw the viewer's interest so they might actually read the info panel.

The MPP appears in the 82' Sears catalog: http://www.wishbookweb.com/FB/1982_Sears_Wishbook/files/assets/basic-html/page-526.html
The original six and reissue MPP shows up in the 83' catalog:
http://www.wishbookweb.com/FB/1983_Sears_Wishbook/files/assets/basic-html/page-536.html

Those catalogs from my very fuzzy memory were usually dated for the upcoming year and beyond, straddling the most important season of Christmas shopping.  Thus MLP should have been on the shelves in late '82 in order to be featured in the '83 catalog.  The pictured Originals also look to be the concave hoof rather than flatfoot IMO.

[brightberry]

 Or how about "children who longed to have a real pony friend"?

LOVE that.  And I love the re-write too.   

Edit
My quoting ability needs practice.   

[Sunset]

Wouldn't hug-able and brush-able  be huggable and brushable respectively?  I've never seen them hyphenated like that, but maybe it's a regional thing? 

Whenever I type in "brushable" Word says that it is incorrect.  However, it is ok with "brush-able."  I just assumed it would do the same with "huggable" but I just tried it and it seems to be ok with that one.  Though typing it up here, this program doesn't like either word without the hyphen.  I was just trying to be as grammatically correct as possible but I can get rid of the hyphens if it looks weird.  I don't normally use them myself.

The MPP appears in the 82' Sears catalog: http://www.wishbookweb.com/FB/1982_Sears_Wishbook/files/assets/basic-html/page-526.html
The original six and reissue MPP shows up in the 83' catalog:
http://www.wishbookweb.com/FB/1983_Sears_Wishbook/files/assets/basic-html/page-536.html

Those catalogs from my very fuzzy memory were usually dated for the upcoming year and beyond, straddling the most important season of Christmas shopping.  Thus MLP should have been on the shelves in late '82 in order to be featured in the '83 catalog.  The pictured Originals also look to be the concave hoof rather than flatfoot IMO.

But then you have Hasbro which consistently claims MLP came out in 1983.  I know some people get frustrated with that.  And I want to be consistent and not give two different dates in the same document.  A fiscal year typically starts in the fall so Christmas of '82 would fall in the same fiscal year as the majority of '83.  Perhaps that's why we keep running into that issue of what year did My Little Pony officially start.

[banditpony]

'...clothing, accessories, housewares...' is the average person going to know what 'accessories' means in terms of MLP, or is that just redundant?  Is there a better word that would be better understood?

I read it as human accessories...

plus merchandise such as clothing, accessories, housewares, books, games, school supplies, and electronics.

[LadyMoondancer]

Brushable is definitely a real word, but sometimes spellcheck programs are finicky!

I'm loving the rewrites, you are doing a great job! 

[Baby Sugarberry]

Google has ~385k results for 'brushable' including a Wiktionary entry  vs. 94k for brush-able (mostly product brand names) so I'd be inclined to say it's a better choice.   Huggable is definitely a word, no hyphens needed.

[FiddlePhan]

Most of the feedback already covers any suggestions I had except...
Brushable instead of brush-able.
Huggable instead of hug-able.

Clear thoughts.  Enough facts and detailed language without being too wordy.  If it's a museum visitor's first real intro to MLP they likely wanting just a Cliffnotes version and not some lengthy piece.  I'm assuming there are other non-pony exhibits they will also be wanting to spend time learning about.  So I think you have a good piece. The edits by Aquamarinemolly I think are most helpful with her museum experience.  I do some work in memorabilia and agree with what she said.

[Sunset]

Thanks to everyone who helped me with this.  I really appreciate it!

This is the final version

Spoiler

visitors can't see pics , please register or login

[Baby Sugarberry]

Hope your exhibit goes well, Sunset.  

[aquamarinemolly]

Nice job! The logo looks excellent to, that brought it to life.