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I have one question. I totally agree that he's being unfair on you, and that his comments about the capitalisation is off because capitalised shouting is different from using it as an emphasis on specific words, and the first time he complained, you'd only capitalised 'the'. The question is about the handling charge. Is that listed in the auction description? I am asking because you've referred it to ebay and ebay often side with the buyer. You're within your rights to ask a handling charge for materials but if you didn't mention it as part of the auction he might have a case that you added that amount to the USPS cost and therefore are claiming more shipping than necessary. You are NOT obliged to combine your shipping lots, so ebay might go with you on that. But it is just something you want to keep in mind. I haven't seen your auctions so I don't know how you've stated it.
Sellers are not required to spell out their handling / materials costs in their auction descriptions. So the buyer would not have a case against her based on that.