Healthy Pony the New Year

[Pokeyonekenobie]

I fear I shall be stressed out until about noon tomorrow as we are having evaluations at work.  This is the first time at this job that we've done them (I've worked here for about 5 years) but they were the absolute worst part of my last job so I am dealing with some PTSD stuff.  I keep trying to tell myself that it will be fine but considering that at my last job they told me during every evaluation that I was so terrible that nobody else would ever hire me and that I should be grateful to even have a job (and that was one of the nicer things they said to me), it's hard to keep positive.  I wish it was over with and I just want to curl up in the corner and cry.   

[Kiwi]

to everyone that could use one

Good luck LBS and Taproot with your interviews.

[Crowning_Glory13]

Thanks kiwi. Hugs to us all...together we can and will get through this. We will grow we will learn and will go through the path it takes us. Hugs to us all.

[Safflower]

I have been so busy! I have been doing school and homework straight since Sunday. I haven't been doing my Irish lessons or drawing though I did half on Monday, nothing on Tuesday. Hopefully I can squeeze some in tonight, but maybe not, as I have to get my allergy shots which make me super tired! Gah, so busy!

[Crowning_Glory13]

You know, even though you can't do what you want this week, does not mean you have not acheived/build to your goal. Just jotting down what you didn't get done, kept the task in mind. You are still thinking about and working on the task. That is an accomplishment in its self. Embrace to tiny steps to the big ladder to the goal:)

[glitterball]

I fear I shall be stressed out until about noon tomorrow as we are having evaluations at work.

That was mean of them to treat you so badly in your last job  no wonder you are worried now. If it really was that bad, your supervisor/boss should have picked up on it earlier and encouraged improvement at the time rather than leave it until the eval to throw the book at you! The sign of a good manager is one how actually *manages* staff - i.e. notices niggles straight away and works together with you to get things on track - it may be something tiny and tedious, but in the long run it should help everyone know what they are doing.

Today

Spoiler

Wow, lots done again today, I can see sunlight through the back window now 
Sorted lots of piles of junk into their "type" i.e. wood / metal / small appliances / general trash etc. as these need to be disposed of in their dedicated bays at the dump.
The Buyer's surveyor turned up to survey the house - should have taken 1.5 hours but he was so interested in it that he spent 3 hours looking at all the quirks, it seemed to fascinate him. Friendly chap too, who assured me that should the sale fall through (unlikely) he would love me to contact him as he knows a few guys who would love to develop such a site. Ah, good to know!

My Mum's in hospital today, so Dad was with her for that, but I reckon I managed to do more today than when he was with me  but it is nice to have him there as it can get lonely there amongst the cobwebs and cardboard boxes 

Tomorrow: about 10 bags have been filled with general trash - I shall load up my car first-thing and dump that. Thereafter, load up the car with the various types of junk and dump them in turn while Dad either helps with his car or stays back + sorts through more old papaerwork/letters.

[Dreamer]

Thanks for everybody who gave me suggestions! Things are starting to shape up: I got hold of a food and exercise diary, because I think keeping track of these things will help me. But I'm not going to start making significant changes to my diet until I finish my exams (tomorrow!) I think I'll better set these as changes I plan to accomplish throughout the year 

- Definitely more veggies, I have time periods in which I manage to eat them almost every day, but nowadays it is not as much 
- Only one portion of bread/pasta/rice per day (although I love them too much  )
- I already drink enough water, I think, but I would like to keep track of that too
- One of my last year achievments was exercising more often. I sometimes stop when life's busy but I think that overall I kept good track. I tend to use my static bike while watching TV programs or shows. Perhaps I should increase the intensity or find more ways to exercise.
- I would also like to compile a personal recipe book, with recipes given by family or friends, as well as yummy healthy things I can cook in a pinch

On the other side of things, I've been struggling trying to re-design a character, but now I think I'm close to the final version.

Is anyone planning any special kind of reward if they manage to accomplish their goals?

[Pokeyonekenobie]

I fear I shall be stressed out until about noon tomorrow as we are having evaluations at work.

That was mean of them to treat you so badly in your last job  no wonder you are worried now. If it really was that bad, your supervisor/boss should have picked up on it earlier and encouraged improvement at the time rather than leave it until the eval to throw the book at you! The sign of a good manager is one how actually *manages* staff - i.e. notices niggles straight away and works together with you to get things on track - it may be something tiny and tedious, but in the long run it should help everyone know what they are doing.

The management at that job was terrible.  They not only made up lies about what I did or didn't do, they told me that I needed to seek medication for my "anger management" issues after I told them I was frustrated with the way I was being treated.  They made the paperwork look legitimate when they wrote me up (insubordination was their favorite word) but what they told me was that I was being written up for things like "yelling" at everyone (not sure how I had any voice left with how much yelling I was accused of doing), refusing to schedule community service workers (there was only supposed to be one person per shift and I was scheduling 4 per shift at the time but somehow still refusing to schedule anyone--you figure it out, I still can't), and refusing to "just give the community service workers their hours" (which is falsifying court documents, which is a federal offense.  Sorry, not having that on my record--I might need to gain high level security clearance someday--you never know) amongst other ridiculous claims.  My manager was convinced that I was after her job (not true-I don't want to be in charge of anything ever again thank you) so I was the scapegoat for 5 years and after I quit (without notice, I might add) four other women that I worked with did the same (at least 2 with no notice).  They didn't want to be next. 

I was able to tell my current director and manager (who were doing our 1/2 year evals) a little about what I went through and why I hated evaluations.  They were sympathetic (I admit that I cried a little from the stress of it) and the experience was pleasant.  Hopefully in the future I won't have any more panic attacks over it.

Anyway, now that I'm not stressed anymore I hope to spend the weekend painting and getting some commissioned piggy banks done.

[Safflower]

You know, even though you can't do what you want this week, does not mean you have not acheived/build to your goal. Just jotting down what you didn't get done, kept the task in mind. You are still thinking about and working on the task. That is an accomplishment in its self. Embrace to tiny steps to the big ladder to the goal:)

This made me feel do much better! More things have stacked up that are not in my favor (more homework, a HUGE project in history, a party to plan, and some stuff at home like my grandparents near death and my mom flying to Missouri to go help them, and my mom has been flying in and out for the past couple of months). I'm half way between falling asleep and crying. I think this post will get me through the day. Was NOT expecting these things to happen.
Sorry to be depressing!

[Miniature Sheep]

Thanks everyone for the well wishes! I'm not 100% sure how the interview went as it was more of a chat, and I never really know what's expected of me there. Still, there are plenty of other irons in the fire if it doesn't work out.

As for my other tasks, I did learn a scale on the violin, albeit slow and clunky at the moment; it's the same problem as with changing chords on the guitar, I just need to get my left hand used to making the necessary movements.
My sleeping patterns have improved a bit as well, the trick with the old mp3 player seems to be working and reading before bed has probably helped, although I've already gotten through three of the books I got out of the library. Might've gotten a bit too engrossed in a couple of them.
Still didn't manage to get out into the hillside; would've done that yesterday but the interview was more important and there was really thick fog anyway. It would've been pretty foolish to be charging around steep slopes when it's impossible to see your own hand in front of your face!

Wishing everyone all the best for the weekend!

[Ponyfan]

I was doing well but have had a setback due to health issues. I’m hoping I can get back on track next week.

Ponyfan

[tulagirl]

Yea is it okay if we start over next week. I am having major issues?   Sigh  Ponyfan I am with you.  Royal nightmares going on.  Shakes head and runs in circles then back to the heating pad, ice pack and bottle of tylenol. Argh...the only thing I have been able to consistently do was read, memorize and everything else went into the trash can.

[glitterball]

Dreamer - diaries are great for inspiring organisation 

Pokeyonekenobie - good to hear current management are listening to you! Enjoy your crafting time!

Safflower - woah hope your grandparents are ok? Don't be scared of the big history project - set aside a wall (or whiteboard or pinboard), lots of post-it notes + get busy with writing little soundbites / paragraph prompts to "sketch out" how your project will shape up. Breaking it down into these little blocks will make it easier when it comes to writing stuff up, plus it reminds you to include certain bits that you may otherwise forget!

Taproot - getting good vibes from the interview chat! 

Ponyfan + Tulagirl - get well soon and don't feel sad!

 

[lovesbabysquirmy]

I have all of this goal stuff in my Giant Household Excel Sheet of crazy.  Seriously I am trying to track expenses, food, shopping lists, to-do chores, pricing out home reno projects LOL  so it sort of functions like a journal?  I highly encourage documentation of some kind!!! 

Keep up the positive thinking everyone!  Even if it is just visualizing the life you want when you have no power to do anything about it - the dreaming is also good for you! 

I have also been in such a MEHHHHH state of mind lately which has not made my poor DH happy.  Usually I putter through my to-do list and keep ahead but it has been so hard lately.  I sit down and lose myself in reading a book or researching recipes...

January-11-18: Need to clean the kitchen. DD's playgroup. More job searching.
January-12-18: Reported to EI.  Made turkey stock.  Cleaned kitchen.
January-13-18: DD's bday party.  Expect nothing to get done except making a bigger mess Oh I cleaned the bathroom!
Today: hopefully more job applications! also have to get the house set to rights again post-party.  This mind fog, it MUST lift soon!!! 

[Safflower]

Thanks glitterball I will definitely use those tips!

Spoiler

My grandma died yesterday. Right now I'm just working with some clay and sculpting mini ponies, so at least that's art. I practiced some Gaelic yesterday though so that is something. It's hard right now. Being on the Arena is helping a lot since you guys are so awesome and kind here.