Should we 'Grow out of Toys'?

[Leave a Whisper]

At Stormness. They're just jealous cuz your awesome.

How does one grow out of pets? I can understand being incompatible personality wise but they're a responsibility.

[Stormness_1]

^^ Urgh, usually she just takes on more than she can viably afford/fit in her home in the future, even though she's aware of that fact, she just chooses to ignore it for the short-term gratification. Then she has to re-home them. It drives me crazy. Don't get pets you know you can't keep! Also her interests change frequently in every aspect of her life, and pets are no exception... so she'll re-home all her chickens to get ducks, then sell those to get parrots, then decides she'd prefer finches.. then she misses the eggs so she's back to chickens. Grrr... PICK SOMETHING! Right now she's got chickens and ducks, as well as some parrots. She's thankfully not pursuing dog breeding at the moment, and both her dogs are desexed. They are getting old however, and I pray that when they pass she doesn't get back on that bandwagon again. My SIL moving back in with all her animals (2 dogs and several chickens) is restricting her somewhat at the moment, but for that I'm actually a little thankful, even if my SIL is a total bum. No more pets!

[Broken Irishwoman]

Until recently I would have said "Of course not!" But now I'm not sure anymore. That is, collecting and loving toys is more than fine. Who doesn't love to relive the past now and then when things get tough? You can find so much comfort in bringing your childhood memories back to life. And that's absolutely fine.

HOWEVER. I noticed a disturbing trend in popular culture the last couple of years. Being a big child is something that seems to be heavily promoted nowadays. Items with prints that say "I'm a unicorn" or "I don't want to adult", comics all over the internet that reflect how so many of us are not ready to be an adult, and sooooooo much Disney/Potter/Pony/Pooh clothing everywhere. For grown-ups, yes. Nothing wrong with wearing that stuff, I enjoy my pony pajamas too, but it's SO. EXTREME.

I find it quite alarming to see how this generation seems to be avoiding adulthood. Of course you have to keep the child inside of you alive too, at least to me that's very important. But let's not forget that WE are the adults now, there's no going back. Our children need responsible adults they can rely on, just like we did.

[Leave a Whisper]

Until recently I would have said "Of course not!" But now I'm not sure anymore. That is, collecting and loving toys is more than fine. Who doesn't love to relive the past now and then when things get tough? You can find so much comfort in bringing your childhood memories back to life. And that's absolutely fine.

HOWEVER. I noticed a disturbing trend in popular culture the last couple of years. Being a big child is something that seems to be heavily promoted nowadays. Items with prints that say "I'm a unicorn" or "I don't want to adult", comics all over the internet that reflect how so many of us are not ready to be an adult, and sooooooo much Disney/Potter/Pony/Pooh clothing everywhere. For grown-ups, yes. Nothing wrong with wearing that stuff, I enjoy my pony pajamas too, but it's SO. EXTREME.

I find it quite alarming to see how this generation seems to be avoiding adulthood. Of course you have to keep the child inside of you alive too, at least to me that's very important. But let's not forget that WE are the adults now, there's no going back. Our children need responsible adults they can rely on, just like we did.

Hardly extreme. Those shirts are all in good fun. Your looking too deeply into a joke if you think that shirts are alarming.

[lockette]

I wouldn't call it alarming per se, just kind of childish (as opposed to young-at-heart).  it's definitely just a joke but it's such an oversaturated joke now that it's cringey.  millennials tend to stay "younger" longer than previous generations.  I think part of it is that we just don't care, and part of it is that it's hard to feel like an adult when you can barely afford food and rent and work a crappy job-- which is a huge problem for this generation!

that said, I would never go back to being a kid!  I absolutely love my 30s, and I love the total agency I have over my own life.

[Broken Irishwoman]

Yes, that's the biggest issue, that it's so overused. To see it here and there is fun, but to see it everywhere is just going to far. It stopped being cute 500 shirts and 700 comics ago. I get that it's just a joke, but I'm just starting to wonder where we will end up if it's "okay" to be a big kid for the rest of your life. [/killjoy]

[lovesbabysquirmy]

Totally agree with you Broken Irishwoman . 

Come ON!!! we even call dealing with Reality, "Adulting" now.   

[Leave a Whisper]

Yes, that's the biggest issue, that it's so overused. To see it here and there is fun, but to see it everywhere is just going to far. It stopped being cute 500 shirts and 700 comics ago. I get that it's just a joke, but I'm just starting to wonder where we will end up if it's "okay" to be a big kid for the rest of your life. [/killjoy]

Okay so? Lots of things are overused. There are far worse things that are becoming commonplace or are already commonplace in the world that go straight into horrifying, atrocious, sickening, tragic, senseless and infuriating then a bunch of shirts with silly messages and adults owning toys that people worry about. 

[xTic_Tac_Toex]

Yes, that's the biggest issue, that it's so overused. To see it here and there is fun, but to see it everywhere is just going to far. It stopped being cute 500 shirts and 700 comics ago. I get that it's just a joke, but I'm just starting to wonder where we will end up if it's "okay" to be a big kid for the rest of your life. [/killjoy]

I can see where you're coming from Broken Irishwoman. I feel like people in their 20s and 30s are struggling (at least in the UK) because it's really hard to get your foot on the property ladder and actually own your own home, because the housing market has inflated atrociously. A lot of people have to live with their parents out of necessity (I myself had to for 7 months after graduating) - this in itself can make you feel like you're still just a kid with few responsibilities :/

However, I also feel like a lot of people my age deliberately neglect their adult responsibilites. I remember at university, being pretty shocked by everyone's lack of respect for the kitchen and common room, and general wasteful attitudes.

Not really linked to toys at all, but I get that these kinds of 'memes' seen on t-shirts could be doing more bad than good. They probably are just innocent fun overall...but I can definitely related to what you're saying here.

[Littlesparklepony]

Yes, that's the biggest issue, that it's so overused. To see it here and there is fun, but to see it everywhere is just going to far. It stopped being cute 500 shirts and 700 comics ago. I get that it's just a joke, but I'm just starting to wonder where we will end up if it's "okay" to be a big kid for the rest of your life. [/killjoy]

Okay so? Lots of things are overused. There are far worse things that are becoming commonplace or are already commonplace in the world that go straight into horrifying, atrocious, sickening, tragic, senseless and infuriating then a bunch of shirts with silly messages and adults owning toys that people worry about. 

I agree with you here. The popular Culture is very innocent relative to other problems in the World. Also for me it´s two different things how people dress and how they are as persons.
Ivé met a lot of Young people in my job and many of them are much wiser than older people Ivé met even thow some of them like Disney, manga or whatever.

I´m in the over 35 generation and can´t see that people my age doesn´t want to grow up. Many including myself have lived a adult Life for a long time with own appartments, houses, relations, jobs, Children etc.

[Broken Irishwoman]

I agree that there are bigger problems in the world, however (and maybe I'm taking this too far), I think it's still connected, to some extent. If staying a big kid is being promoted, and people get more and more comfortable like that, who will take responsibility for anything?

Like I said, I may be taking this too far, but I do see a connection. Maybe not the way it is now, but if this trend continues to grow, I really believe it can be harmful in the long run.

[poniesthatsparkle]

I remember being 11 or 12 when my parents told me that when I turn 13, I'd grow out of toys. They said I'd become more interested in clothes and jewelry. Well, I'm still into toys, and while I do enjoy shopping for graphic tees, I can't say that I'm into fashion. After all, my regular outfit is a graphic tee from a movie or series I like, a pair jeans, and sneakers.

I certainly do not think we should have to grow out of toys. Sure, we don't have to play with them as adults, but we can still enjoy them for what they are. Toys can be just as fun to look at and collect as it is to play with them.
I used to be embarrassed when I told people I collect My Little Ponies, but recently I've learned to be somewhat happy to tell others and sometimes even show them my collection. If they think it's weird, who cares? My hobby has brought me so much happiness and I think that's way more important than what society wants everyone to be.

[LadyMoondancer]

I think part of the reason people in their 20s and 30s are struggling to find an adult identity is that there's less of a set social 'pattern' than there was in times past.  Which I see as a positive thing rather than a negative overall. 

That and the fact that a lot of people have trouble hitting the 'adult' social targets that DO still exist, like buying your own home or getting a 'real' job (as opposed to a fast food job or whatever).  And it's not their fault on that front . . . it's tough to find 'real' (permanent) jobs even with training in a lot of areas and housing prices are through the roof in many places.  I am 38 and renting, with a roommate, in a city where the median house prices is $725,000 and the rent for a studio is usually more than $1300 a month.  This expensive housing leads to a lot of adults continuing to live with their parents, and it's reeeeally hard to change the "child-parent" dynamic to "adults on an equal footing" dynamic . . . which leads to people feeling like they haven't grown up.

[Littlesparklepony]

I agree that there are bigger problems in the world, however (and maybe I'm taking this too far), I think it's still connected, to some extent. If staying a big kid is being promoted, and people get more and more comfortable like that, who will take responsibility for anything?

Like I said, I may be taking this too far, but I do see a connection. Maybe not the way it is now, but if this trend continues to grow, I really believe it can be harmful in the long run.

Ok I guess we have different views about it. But I agree with your explanation Lady Moondancer, it´s not easy for Young people finding a way of living as adults today. It depends on the society and lots of other things like were you live for example.

Ivé worked as a counsellor a long time and helped a lot of Young people finding their first job which offcourse is a very important start of being an adult. 

[Taffeta]

I agree that there are bigger problems in the world, however (and maybe I'm taking this too far), I think it's still connected, to some extent. If staying a big kid is being promoted, and people get more and more comfortable like that, who will take responsibility for anything?

Like I said, I may be taking this too far, but I do see a connection. Maybe not the way it is now, but if this trend continues to grow, I really believe it can be harmful in the long run.

I actually feel quite upset by this, but I realise that's probably my personal experiences coming through. I do see your point on it, but I don't think that has anything to do with adults having toys. You're talking about people dodging their responsibilities, thinking of themselves rather than other people, and acting like they're still kids. To me the skills to understand responsibility, empathy, communication, etc all come from play with toys as kids. If anything, kids lose that opportunity too early because of mobile phones and computer games and social media as young as seven or eight. If you don't let a child develop their imagination when they are young, they won't cope with society as adults. Then you get the problem you're talking about - but whether they have toys or not doesn't mean anything.

As a person with autism, one of the most damaging things that people with autism suffer is society deciding when people should grow up, when it's appropriate to do x or y, and also that you have to do one or the other, and can't just do both. I had to hide my pony collection as a teenager, because I didn't need to be more bullied than I was. I had friends at school, but if they had known about my ponies, then maybe they wouldn't have been my friends. I pulled back and didn't really trust them. Having toys didn't make that happen. The expectations of society as to when it's ok to have toys or otherwise did. It left me feeling helpless and broken as a person, like I was somehow wrong and that's really hard to shake. Now, as an adult, I am not hiding my collection. Having my collections and having people who share those interests has actually helped me hugely as a person and allowed me to become an adult. But those experiences did damage to me growing up. It took me  a long time to realise the thing that was wrong was society, not having ponies. And what you're talking about is also not toys, but society.

Everyone grows up at their own pace, and has their own challenges to deal with. But I see no connection between having toys and not being responsible for one's actions.

As a person with autism, it frustrates me that society wants to make itself less connected to each other's lives. The increase in social media means that being friends now means ticking a button online, and it's apparently okay to leave death threats on social media of people you don't agree with. This is a really deep and big social problem, but nobody is actually addressing it. If you give your baby a mobile phone or a tablet to play games on instead of a box or a teddy or something which requires them to think out their own game, then how are they going to think out their own situation going forward as adults, deciding on university or on juggling costs and bills and real life? Toys are a good and necessary part of our lives. If people aren't growing up, it's because someone gave them tech which encourages them to watch cat videos rather than go and talk to real people.