Should we 'Grow out of Toys'?

[lockette]

I think another thing to consider is enjoying toys in an age-appropriate manner.  children play with their toys by acting out scenes, pretending they're real, whatnot.  almost no adult collectors do that.  in the "do you play with your ponies" thread, people said that we enjoy our toys by taking/sharing photos, cleaning/upkeeping them, organizing them, etc.  not that it's anyone's business if you DO act out little scenes of ponies talking to themselves, but there is nothing wrong with enjoying toys in an age-appropriate manner.

[lovesbabysquirmy]

Peer discussion often brings out many issues in childhood that the MLP are an "escape" from, even as adults when we haven't escaped those feelings.  Many of us had broken families, bad parents, childhood illnesses, etc.  that caused us to latch onto our toys.

BUT if one does grow past feelings and emotions and issues, then one should be in a healthy place to be INSPIRED and MLP will bring JOY for its simplicity, but... collecting shouldn't be used as a replacement for therapy IF one really does have issues they need to work through. 

By their nature, toys are supposed to be role play tools to help us rehearse different scenarios in our minds.  Most adults forget that... then they go spend money on a sports car LOL so they can pretend they are The Coolest Person on the Road.

I don't think any of us grow out of toys, per se... just the type of toy changes, because you can influence others more so with adult cars, computers, etc.

[Leave a Whisper]

Only if it's natural for a person to grow out of them. If they're still enjoying toys, let them.

Hit it right on the nose Sapphire Rain!

I loled at Cinderella's Castle being your "Summer Home." Pokeyonekenobie

[lockette]

collecting shouldn't be used as a replacement for therapy IF one really does have issues they need to work through. 

[ . . . ]

I don't think any of us grow out of toys, per se... just the type of toy changes, because you can influence others more so with adult cars, computers, etc.

ALL THIS!  collecting of any sort is very very often due to nostalgia in some way or another, and that's okay, but it shouldn't be a coping mechanism in and of itself.  iirc that can lead to hoarding behaviors? (since hoarding is a bad coping mechanism itself)

we almost always have toys.  some people have tech, video games, cars, or even making art could be considered playing tbh.

[Harmonie]

I really don't get why people feel the need to judge others for enjoying toys (or anything for that matter, but staying on topic...) other than towing the societal line, but fortunately I've managed to mostly get past bothering about what narrow-minded people think. At the end of the day, my little bundle of toys makes me happy, and that's all that matters. Also, when you get right down to it, how is toy collecting any different from collecting ornaments or anything else? Choices are still made based on personal connections and aesthetic tastes, they're just made of different materials.

years ago when I told my aunt that I collect ponies, she was basically like, "but they're useless, what do you even do with them?" and my answer was basically that I enjoy them.  then I pointed out that she collects coffee mugs from everywhere she goes and she said that those had a purpose.  THEN I commented that it's very common to collect dolls, and she said, "well I think that's silly too." 

whatever though.  I can see if people don't "get it" but to be so close-minded that you think it's completely stupid, I just don't understand that.

It is interesting, though. You brought up your aunt collecting mugs and she said they have a purpose. However, the TC mentioned that people collect stuff like spoons and they never actually use them, they're merely for collecting. I know this because my mom has a small collection of different kind of spoons that are purely collectibles.

If people collect spoons just to collect them, that is very much going against their actual purpose. So I don't understand why there would be a problem with people collecting toys.

[Wardah]

I think there's something to be said for the idea that males are typically allowed to "play" with toys throughout adulthood and that hobbies like building model trains are considered more socially acceptable than collecting ponies/dolls. It's almost as tho dolls are still seen by society as a child raising surrogate and that girls should "grow up, find a husband, and make babies" once they get a certain age which is garbage.

[LadyMoondancer]

I don't think kids should be pressured into 'growing out of' toys, but I also think it's natural that most kids do.  Because at a certain age most kids have a desire to become more "grown up", and for many kids this means separating themselves from the things they associate with childhood (i.e. toys.)  In my school kids hit this around 4th and 5th grade.

I was a kid who still valued and played with toys when I was 12, and I fully support anyone (kid or not) who still plays with toys.  But at the same time, I don't think every kid who declares they're "too old for [toy name]" is being 'pressured' into it.  Ultimately a lot of kids who give up their toys never look back or feel any regret, even if they feel nostalgic about their toys years later.

(I've also seen a few cases in the MLP community where a parent and child collected ponies jointly, but eventually the kid sort of felt 'obligated' to continue collecting even after they'd lost interest, and finally told the parent they wanted to stop.  So you have to be sensitive in both directions about not pressuring kids.  Personally I think it's better for a kid to have toys where their interest in it is all THEIRS, not a joint venture with the parents.  JMO.)

It truly depends on the individual!  If collecting toys makes you happy, then go for it.

[Littlesparklepony]

I discussed this with my therapist a while ago concerning my own childhood. I often heard my mum say that I was to old for different toys, hairstyles etc. and I often felt like I was not good enough.

My Therapist had a good Point saying that Many parents biggest fears is that their Child will be outside the social Community. That explained a lot to me.

I Think I would grow up with a much better selfesteem if she had encouraged me to be myself instead. But offcourse I Think she did her best at that time.

So my answer is No we shall never grow out of toys!

[Leave a Whisper]

I think there's something to be said for the idea that males are typically allowed to "play" with toys throughout adulthood and that hobbies like building model trains are considered more socially acceptable than collecting ponies/dolls. It's almost as tho dolls are still seen by society as a child raising surrogate and that girls should "grow up, find a husband, and make babies" once they get a certain age which is garbage.

Depends on what collecting community your in as well.

In the model horse community for example, there are a lot of chicks. Though there are still plenty of guys. There is a lot of play.

People photograph, customize, make use of props, accessories, figures and dioramas, assign pedigrees, even to the point of using real horses for the parents of their horses, compete in photo shows and real life show for ribbons and awards, create entire family lines and breeding stock. Sometimes from there literal prize winners.

Quite a few of these people, sink serious cash into this hobby. As much as any guy could.

That sounds like a community that brazenly refuses to give up their play.

[Ponyfan]

I was very fortunate that I wasn't forced to give up any of my toys before I was ready. A childhood friend was told by her mom one morning that she had to sell all of her toys at a garage sale that day with no warning.

I stopped playing with ponies when I was around 13 or 14. I had them in a box and one of the last times I remember playing them a much younger person was also playing with them and said I "had to" brush their manes and tails everyday. They were my ponies so of course I wanted to decide when and how to play with them.

Now I love taking photographs of my ponies and posing them.


Ponyfan

[alaskaallie]

Well I can say that the whole "buying material goods which have no purpose just to put them on a shelf" doesn't really... go along with the rest of how I live my life. But hey, so long as I'm having fun I will continue.

I do, however, have some strong feelings about this "being too old for toys" thing. I am an elementary school teacher and I work with students in many different grades. I have noticed that they say they are too old for toys VERY early, around 8 or even younger! Physical toys are replaced with games, youtube, and time spent on the ipad. I have noticed that it is an IMMENSE struggle for them to use their imaginations! They have an extremely difficult time coming up with ANYTHING on their own. I think this is severly detrimental to their writing and critical thinking skills if from an early age they are only consuming what is already made (games, videos) and not making up their own stories. I think that imaginative play is so important and kids today are often missing out.

Some background: I "played" with toys well into my early teens; there was a gradual transition from completely imaginitive play (acting out stories, I do miss having the imagination to do this!) to building dioramas and making miniatures. Both of my parents are creative sorts and my dad especially enjoyed building different things and helping me with my creations. I also did well in several classes through building models and dioramas (which felt like "play") to me. So long story short, I guess I've never been too old for this sort of hobby. I do wonder if my interest in toys specifically from my childhood may wane as I age, but I feel like I will always have the interest in miniatures and model horses!

[Sky_Rocket_Sammie]

I grew up with a bad home life, thus I often say I didn't have a childhood just mini adulthood. So yes toys in a way are giving myself the childhood I never had. It also gives me the ability to have my own belongings beyond the necessities. That are mine full stop, something I never had growing up. With the resurgence State side of nearly all things 80s retro. I'm finding that when I say I collect Transformers/Star Wars hardly anyone bats an eye.

Saying I collect vintage MLP and Disney specifically Princess related. That gets me odd looks thus I don't often disclose that I do. Especially since I started transitioning (I'm ftm) because I've found it undermines my gender. It's also interesting what an item codes as; retro G1 adult t-shirt,high end retro G1 purse/bag, adult sized shirt with Transformers/Star Wars logos,high end Disney collectibles. All of that codes clearly for the adult collector in mind. I'm not saying nobody would get crap for that but personally it's less.

Also, it's interesting and annoying the assumption that if someone collects toys that person must be lacking in knowing how to adult. When I say I live on my own,pay my bills,go to college..it shuts people up. But only if I make it clear that I do those things. When someone questions that my maturity must be lacking I say all the people that have created the things we love. Are adults who are full of creativity and ambition to bring those things to life. It's their job to do so.

[Taffeta]

This is a really interesting topic and one I think about from time to time.

I'm 35, my sister is 30. The other week when it snowed, we took ponies out in the snow and took photos of them. Naynie even built a 'snow pony' for them. We are both of the persuasion that you grow older, but growing up or growing out of things is a state of mind.

For me personally...

I have found it easier to be open with my collections as an adult now than as a teenager, when I felt I had to hide the ponies away in the wardrobe when friends came over. I think that at that age it's a lot more insecure - whereas now, I'm an adult making my own decisions and I stopped caring so much what others might think.

Also, there's another factor in this for me with MLP.

I have other collections and have over time collected and dispersed other things. I used to have Keypers and Shera, aside one or two they have all gone now. I have Monster High and Jem, but specific MH dolls and my Jem dolls are confined to their own cabinet, no exceptions. If I had to make a choice to keep only one collection, it would be MLP. This is mainly because I had them so young I don't remember not having them, and they often marked important events in my life growing up.

I'm also autistic. I was diagnosed as an adult in 2005. From that point my attitude towards the world changed from feeling like I was constantly fighting everything to reassessing who I was, what I wanted and what was important to me.

Collecting MLP taught me a lot of things in the time before my diagnosis. I was bullied online by some unpleasant people, which taught me that sharing the same interest as someone else didn't mean they would be my friend. That may seem obvious but to an idealistic teenage autistic girl with absolutely no clue, it was a harsh wake up call. On the other hand, going to pony meets and carboot sales and things like that helped me to find some courage to go out there and meet people who did share my interests. I dunno if this is true for other autistic ponypeople, but I have always found it hard to define or explain aspects of my own self, and have always tended to rely on other people's opinions of things more than I really should. But ponies I guess have always been there alongside me, no matter what. In 2003 I even graduated with a pony (Rainbow Dash I).

This year, I went to Japan. I was really scared about the flight and things beforehand. My sister bought me Fluttsi because she felt that Fluttsi would bring me luck. Taking Fluttsi around Japan was fun and it helped me to get used to the different environment and settle in more quickly.

When we look back, my family and I, we all agree that in general collecting MLP has helped me to be able to do the things I do now. Studying at university, doing my third degree, travelling...all of those things come from building a self-confidence that I never had as a child and really struggled to build. I guess what I'm saying is that the way I appreciate ponies has changed, but my love for them never will. I don't think that it's always about growing out of something, but how the way you appreciate that something changes as you grow up.

I still mess around and take photos of ponies and I find brushing their hair is soothing - I always did as a child and that has stuck with me. But I actually pity people whose worlds are so small they are afraid of something as harmless as collecting toys. It does nobody any harm, so long as the money spent is not meant to be spent on something more vital (food, rent, power etc). I think the problem is with society.

But as a person with autism, I think most problems are with society, and their fear of things they don't understand.

What is interesting in my case is that the more academic or 'adult' I am in something (such as presenting at a conference or submitting something for my thesis or whatever), the more I then want to interact with my ponies or my dolls and just chill. I think I realised that my brain associates them with relaxing and that's a good thing.

In general
I think that it's a fallacy that any human being ever actually outgrows the concept of play or imagination. Or if they do, they probably don't have much of it in the first place. I mean, I write, and I know a lot of other collectors also write. Writing is also exercising the imagination, it is just considered in a more respectable manner by (most) people. A lot of people who criticise collecting toys probably go to the cinema to watch a movie or play video games. Again, those are considered respectable. Even going to see a cartoon movie in some respects.

I saw a documentary a while ago where they were talking about someone who'd committed some crime and one of the people talking was all like, "he had all these toy cars in his room, so we knew he wasn't normal." That annoyed me. The two things are not connected. Having a room full of toys doesn't mean someone is going to commit a crime or is somehow 'wrong'.

I think the problem is society is governed by a narrow strand of extremely insecure people who decide what is and isn't acceptable. And the larger part of society is so afraid of seeming odd that they go along with those parameters. It's easier to judge than to risk being judged.

One other thought. As Wardah said, it's a lot more respectable to collect 'boy' toys than 'girl' toys. I've noticed that most of the compilation TV shows about toys of the past focus on 'boy' toys and have guys going on about them...then there'll be a little condescending section on some toy girls liked (like MLP) and then back to awesome 'boy' toys. I put those in '' because I don't believe in gendering toys, but other people do, including toy stores.

Girls are apparently expected to grow up and boys are not. That's what I take from that.

[Leave a Whisper]

I grew up with a bad home life, thus I often say I didn't have a childhood just mini adulthood. So yes toys in a way are giving myself the childhood I never had. It also gives me the ability to have my own belongings beyond the necessities. That are mine full stop, something I never had growing up. With the resurgence State side of nearly all things 80s retro. I'm finding that when I say I collect Transformers/Star Wars hardly anyone bats an eye.

Saying I collect vintage MLP and Disney specifically Princess related. That gets me odd looks thus I don't often disclose that I do. Especially since I started transitioning (I'm ftm) because I've found it undermines my gender. It's also interesting what an item codes as; retro G1 adult t-shirt,high end retro G1 purse/bag, adult sized shirt with Transformers/Star Wars logos,high end Disney collectibles. All of that codes clearly for the adult collector in mind. I'm not saying nobody would get crap for that but personally it's less.

Also, it's interesting and annoying the assumption that if someone collects toys that person must be lacking in knowing how to adult. When I say I live on my own,pay my bills,go to college..it shuts people up. But only if I make it clear that I do those things. When someone questions that my maturity must be lacking I say all the people that have created the things we love. Are adults who are full of creativity and ambition to bring those things to life. It's their job to do so.

The last quote about creative ambitious adults are beautiful and true.

[Stormness_1]

Urgh. Growing out of things is a natural way of being, but not everything needs to be grown out of. God my MIL grows out of things faster than anyone I've ever met. She 'grows out of' her furnishings, her collections, and frustratingly even sometimes her pets. (that last one drives me INSANE. Pets are FOR LIFE.) But you don't HAVE to grow out of things. It's a very subjective thing, and it's an important part of who we are as people. I never grew out of ponies. I went wide of them for a few years, but I ALWAYS loved them, and never considered myself 'too old' for them, or 'over' them at all.

Social stereotypes drive me crazy. Every interest I've ever had has been questioned by the 'target demographic' so to speak. People think I'm 'too old' for toys and games. I've been interrogated by bearded men in the music aisles for my love of metal, by gamers and otakus for my gaming and manga/anime interests, heck even my husband's uncle (an IT consultant) was shocked that I'd already ruled out all of his suggestions when my FIL's PC wouldn't go online, because he didn't think a girl with only self-taught computer knowledge could possibly know that much about diagnosing complex computer network issues. People were floored at my debut when they found out that it was the skinny 16 year-old girl in a white dress that was the contract cattle musterer that the local farmers been talking about, and not the boy on her arm. Stereotypes be damned, I'm a walking contradiction, and I'll like what I want. I've always been different to how people expect, and I think that's why my name suits me so well. I pick up everyone's assumptions and throw them around the place. I only wish more people had the courage to be themselves for all to see - maybe the world would be a better place!