Describe your job badly!

[tikibirds]

I have conversations with people who can't speak English.

Spoiler

English as a second Language Teacher in China

[Lhianneth]

My job is manyfold, so here are the different aspects of what I do each week:

I give myself eyestrain and RSI by sitting too close to a large screen, while gently stroking it.

I torture fabric, stabbing it over and over, until it does what I tell it to do.

I piss off two different branches of the same franchise with large piles of boxes.

Spoiler

I design, sew, and ship alternative fashion garments, as well as textiles and house goods. The design process is almost all digital, from rendering the textile pattern, to creating the sewing pattern, so I'm usually glued to a computer screen for hours at a time on days I'm not sewing. The two local post offices each hate me for different reasons: one because they hate click and send, the other because I'm not *technically* within their jurisdiction, so they often want to adjust the postage rates the online site gives me (the rate is the same, I'm only going 300m in a different direction...and when I go to their branch, I use their post code, just not on the return labels).

[Mareacooda]

Bombing holes alot bigger reaction than excepted!

Carter, wittness, plan and insisted!

I actually have two jobs... Can anyone guess them ;b

[Icicle]

I currently don't have a job, but the idea I came up for my last one was just too funny not to post.

I made sure people knew what the heck was going on on a Sunday

Spoiler

Media tech for a church. Making slides, inputting everything into the computer so the congregation could follow along with the sermon. And making flyers and the like for events/weekly updates

[Twizel]

I watch people move stuff.

[Littlesparklepony]

I´m getting in to peoples brains and listen to their problems all day.

[Chrissytree]

I wait all day for attention then have to figure out what I'm supposed to do when my bosses bark orders at me. I've also recently been waiting for things to appear and watching out for suckers.

Spoiler

I'm unemployed. I look after my sisters two dogs and mine barks when she wants something.
I've been growing vegetables from seed for the first time and tending to tomato plants - I read online that you have to remove "suckers" that grow above the main branches so I've been plucking them off when I spot one.