Canned unicorns

[lostpony]

Found something awful on Amazon the other day!

We all know unicorns poop frozen yogurt and fart cotton candy but now the golden goose has been slaughtered for our culinary enjoyment:

visitors can't see pics , please register or login

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0089KZPNU/ref=pe_2285880_218343410_em_1p_0_ti

Like, Eeeew.  Maybe it's actually chicken?  I guess unicorns are cloven hoofed so we can eat them right?  Where have they been raising these guys?  When I find out, I'm going to rustle some live ones up for myself.  Join my unicorn-rescue posse!

Here's the cotton candy, isn't its packaging hilarious???

visitors can't see pics , please register or login

https://www.amazon.com/Bag-Unicorn-Farts-Stocking-Elephant/dp/B01E9D0OR2/ref=sr_1_2?s=toys-and-games&ie=UTF8&qid=1481671479&sr=1-2&keywords=unicorn+farts


I just called them fishing for where the unicorns are raised but their information security is too tight.  They did assure me that no unicorns are actually killed to harvest the unicorn meat, and this is what they look like when they are returned to the wild:

visitors can't see pics , please register or login

https://www.amazon.com/Archie-McPhee-Accoutrements-12530-Handicorn/dp/B00SHH7T52/ref=sr_1_8?s=toys-and-games&ie=UTF8&qid=1481671479&sr=1-8&keywords=unicorn+farts

[tulagirl]

I like the Unicorn Snot personally.

[LunaMoonCustoms1212]

ok, that unicorn meat is so funny  but its actually just a dead unicorn plushie hahaha 

[lostpony]

ok, that unicorn meat is so funny  but its actually just a dead unicorn plushie hahaha 

actually from the pic I couldn't rule it out:  in which case it really IS unicorns...probably harvested from toy donations that weren't in good enough shape to rehome

Tulagirl, an oversight on my part, here's the unicorn snot:
https://www.amazon.com/Unicorn-Snot-Stress-Putty-Stocking/dp/B01LY2ZAHG/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1481679468&sr=8-1&keywords=unicorn+snot

in all fairness it lacks a cute unicorn pic, just a nice horn but it IS in a nice little metal tin.

[Leave a Whisper]

Eww.

[Seachanger]

Yes I've seen that before but it makes me laugh every time. Eww! I would like to try the unicorn farts though.

[Kanchii]

This is the best post ever.

Yes, let us create a unicorn rescue to save them from the terrible meat industry!

[Mainsail]

This is way too funny!! I'm curious as to what the meat tastes like...... but it does sound quite odd.

I wouldn't mind the cotton candy....... excuse me...... I mean unicorn farts.

[Khoufu]

I've seen unicorn meat on thinkgeek for years, so the others aren't surprising. It's rather amusing.

[Khayman81]

Don't eat Unicorns, go vegan!


Well that was funny! While eating some magical animal may sound awful. Like why don't eat leprechaun too, or fairies...

Anyway I wonder what kind of real meat it is...

[lostpony]

Could be leprechaun, the can says it's from Ireland.

[melodys_angel]

I think it originated on thinkgeek on april fools day some years ago.

Its just a unicorn plush inside, not actual meat.

[Bekuno]

You can also buy canned dragon meat!

[Ponyfan]

Poor unicorns *sneaks in to farm and sets unicorns free before they can be turned in to canned meat.* 

I had to look up what was really inside. It's a plushie unicorn.

Spoiler

There also unicorn air freshener spray

Ponyfan

[Dragonflitter]

Don't forget unicorn farts being used to freshen bathrooms, now!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LqL4DRZ2EkA