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Author Topic: Sarah-Bee Sales: Things have been tough, an apology.  (Read 5181 times)

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Offline Sarah-Bee

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Sarah-Bee Sales: Things have been tough, an apology.
« on: July 18, 2016, 07:32:20 AM »
*** Possible trigger warning: mental health and abuse - no major detail, however ***

Hi everyone

I took the plunge in January and quit 'the day job' to do my pony sales full-time and to say I've had a rough time since then would be an understatement.

I wanted to make this post to explain a few things because I have not been on form and that is NOT how I like to operate.

All of my buyers and potential buyers have been utterly amazing. The level of support I've received from people who were total strangers to begin with has blown me away. I now have some new friends and for that I am eternally grateful.

I'm going to keep this brief and to the point (please heed the trigger warning if you are vulnerable etc):

Was in abusive marriage for 10 years, with him for 12 years total. Mostly emotional/ psychological abuse, some physical, some... 'other'
Left him Feb 2015 and did great for a long time, was ecstatic to be out of it and was dealing phenomenally
January 2016 - New Years - it hit. Long story short, was in same place I used to go with him each NY and it was a major trigger
Huge depression
Weird stuff started to happen; again long story short it turns out the anxiety I had constantly while with him was masking Bipolar Disorder but I didn't know that until roughly May this year
Jan-May I was up and down, among other things, without knowing what on earth was going on
Diagnosis - relieved - coping with it now I knew what was going on
However, major event (unrelated) at start of June that I'd been 'preparing for' since February caused massive stress, that led to physical illness, huge drop in body weight, wasn't sleeping or eating properly.
Predicted once it was over I'd "crash and burn" which I did. Expected a week or two - I just came back out of that THIS WEEKEND
In the meantime have only been able to work sporadically and had another bereavement in the family (first was Grandma in Feb - expected). This was cousin, cancer, expected but NOT YET. Huge shock. I was a wreck.
Funeral was Friday and I now have closure and feel more like myself than I have in months.

I feel able to work properly now rather than having to force myself to do so because I'd completely ran out of money. I will be operating to my usual standards now and when times get hard with the bipolar I have people on hand to get me through it and that includes keeping my work up to standard.

So, that's it. But I'm back now. I've thought that at several points and I've been wrong but this feels very different, I'm pleased to say.

I had to explain that for me because I haven't been on form and my working standards have been sub-par to say the least and that IS NOT how I like to operate.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you to everyone who has been there for me, been patient with me and helped me. I love you all, you are angels.

I have a little catch-up to play with regards my current sales, which are mostly on my Facebook page and three to finalise here which I anticipate to be all up to date by mid-week this week.

Thank you again. This community is amazing, it is my pony home and it contains some of the most wonderful people I've ever had the honour of knowing.

Sarah x

Offline Juliepants

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Re: Sarah-Bee Sales: Things have been tough, an apology.
« Reply #1 on: July 18, 2016, 08:00:55 AM »
So glad you're starting to feel better my dear one.

Giant *hugs*  :* :*

Love Jules xx
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Re: Sarah-Bee Sales: Things have been tough, an apology.
« Reply #2 on: July 18, 2016, 10:06:14 AM »
Dear Sarah,
thank you very much for the open words!
I wish you all the best on your way to happieness and health. Please enjoy life again with all it's ups and downs and don't feel sorry for not being 100% perfect. It's okay. I never met a better and friendlier ebayer- so thank you again, some of your ponies found a new home here in my herd. :)
Best wishes

Offline Tzan19

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Re: Sarah-Bee Sales: Things have been tough, an apology.
« Reply #3 on: July 18, 2016, 11:33:35 AM »
Awww, wishing you all the very best.   :hug: Glad to hear you are starting to feel better, here's hoping you are back on the mend, go easy and don't be too hard on yourself, sounds like you've had a LOT to be dealing with. Big hugs xx
Tzan
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mskittylovesrobin

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Re: Sarah-Bee Sales: Things have been tough, an apology.
« Reply #4 on: July 18, 2016, 11:47:05 AM »
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Offline sweetbubbles

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Re: Sarah-Bee Sales: Things have been tough, an apology.
« Reply #5 on: July 18, 2016, 12:02:19 PM »
many many many bigggg hugs to you my ponyfriend  :lovey: :lovey: :lovey:
:newpony: Sweetbubbles   :lovey:

My wantlist is here:
http://mlparena.com/index.php?topic=367105.new#new

Offline shadowlark

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Re: Sarah-Bee Sales: Things have been tough, an apology.
« Reply #6 on: July 18, 2016, 12:21:53 PM »
Big hugs to you. I can relate having gone through a major depression last year that took me 8 months to finally get help for. I feel so much better now. It's like I'm a brand new person. Mental illness is a horrible disease as there is so much stigma attached and not enough resources for people. I wish you the best and if you ever need to talk I am here for you  :hug:

Offline Stormness_1

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Re: Sarah-Bee Sales: Things have been tough, an apology.
« Reply #7 on: July 18, 2016, 05:36:18 PM »
If you ever need to talk, I'm here (I'm not on fb at the moment though, so a PM here is the best way to find me). Depression and Anxiety is my current situation, along with enough Hyper-somnia to keep me nice and exhausted! I'm still bouncing around after my mother's death early last year. I tend to operate in cycles (or spirals, as I call them) and noticed two days ago that I was on the defensive, and customers were offending me and getting on my nerves, so I'm approaching what I call the 'danger zone' which is when I'm likely to start having anxiety attacks, bouts of unexplainable tears, and thinking about why my life is even necessary. If a danger zone hits at the same time as PMS, I get pretty scared, because that's where suicide becomes a viable option. I try to be alone as little as possible, which isn't easy with my work schedule. Mental illness is not an easy thing to deal with, and sudden shocks make it far worse, so hang in there!

Know that here you are surrounded by those who both care and understand, and that at least someone here is usually available most of the day and night, someplace in the world. You are a valued member of our community, and have contributed so much to this place. Knowing what's going on with you is half the battle, so I'm glad to hear that you feel good right now. Hang on to it and embrace it, it's more than worth it!
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Offline Honeycomb

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Re: Sarah-Bee Sales: Things have been tough, an apology.
« Reply #8 on: July 18, 2016, 05:44:45 PM »
Oh Honey, I had no idea. I hope you are getting better. You are such a wonderful person. Huge hugs!

Offline Barnacle_lady

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Re: Sarah-Bee Sales: Things have been tough, an apology.
« Reply #9 on: July 18, 2016, 11:24:59 PM »
Big hugs from me too

Offline Tak

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Re: Sarah-Bee Sales: Things have been tough, an apology.
« Reply #10 on: July 19, 2016, 01:47:32 AM »
I'm so sorry to hear about you having to suffer through so much back to back. Glad you are doing better and have a plan in place with people to help you. You're always welcome to pm me if you need to vent or talk. I'm diagnosed as big-polar among other things. It's been a long 23 years. Please, really, feel free to vent anytime. My condolences on your losses. Even if you expect them, it still hurts to lose a loved one. I'm glad you're back. :) stay well!

Offline Ringlets

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Re: Sarah-Bee Sales: Things have been tough, an apology.
« Reply #11 on: July 19, 2016, 04:58:52 AM »
*massive hugs*  :hug:  :deathhug:  :hug:  wow you've been dealing with some tough times! that was very brave of you to open up by posting about it here too :hug:
I'm so sorry that you've had so many bad things happen and that things have been so rough for you :sad: You're doing really well - especially considering that any one of those things on its own would be hard enough to cope with!  I'm glad you got things sorted and that you're starting to feel better :hug:  thank you for posting :heart:
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Offline salemsparkler

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Re: Sarah-Bee Sales: Things have been tough, an apology.
« Reply #12 on: July 19, 2016, 07:50:12 AM »
Glad you are back! *hugs*

Offline Cool.Breeze

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Re: Sarah-Bee Sales: Things have been tough, an apology.
« Reply #13 on: July 20, 2016, 05:37:41 AM »
Big hugs, Sarah <3 that all sounds like hell :/ it took a trauma for me to find out I had Bipolar, myself. It's not a fun reality to wake up to, but you're right about it being a relief when you finally know what's going on. I can relate to other parts of your story as well, but this isn't the time for me to share all that. Good luck to you and all your future endeavors :) may life take it easy on you, dear <3 I've always really liked you!
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Offline Skeen

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Re: Sarah-Bee Sales: Things have been tough, an apology.
« Reply #14 on: July 20, 2016, 12:55:39 PM »
Big hugs to you, darling.  Let me know if I can do anything for you.  You can haz kitteh pics!  :D 

 

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