Differing opinions on definition problem with Jamiedey5 (arena) Jammiepie5 ebay

[brighteyes]

I have no comlaints about her starting the thread for that reason...i have a problem with her posting my user name having people block me for a misunderstanding and not having her defending what actually happened. in turn making people not trust me...sh can post questions without using my name making me out to be a problem.

Tak's original post did not call you out. People in the thread asked for a name, and the title was modified by a mod.

Since you have given your side, I'm sure the original post will take out the bit about the listing.

This is true.  Tak originally posted here to get info about how to better describe ponies to avoid issues in the future.  It was the fact that a case was opened before she had a chance to resolve any issues, combined with what seemed to be selling of free ponies that prompted many (myself included) to urgently request an ID of the user to be posted.  This is not against the rules in the Trader Support forum and Tak did absolutely nothing wrong by posting your user ID.  Frankly, I would not want to deal with someone who opens a case before allowing me to resolve any issue.  This is a big no no in the collecting community and even if you aren't new to Paypal it can negatively impact your account.  Also, even though the Arena does not offer protection in the same way that eBay does, any transaction in paypal that is not marked as "gift" is protected, regardless of whether it is on eBay or not.  Thus there was no cause to file a claim so quickly.  Besides this, messaging people with BIN auctions on eBay that don't have Best Offer option in order to get a lower price is frowned upon and considered by many to be harassment.  I would recommend not doing that in the future.

[lunar_scythe]

ebay is like a flea market, but places like the Arena are set up more like a community: just like in a neighborhood, info(good or bad) spreads fast.  To be honest, *that* is a big deterrent to abusing the buying and selling on the Arena, if it wasn't, then no one would care what was being said in the trading forum, right?  A negative feedback on ebay may make a few people not bid, but we all know how there are bad buyers on ebay who think *anything* is worth a bad review.  On here, things are much more personal, and we handle them a lot more like, say, a relative messing something up, I guess!

I think the main thing for Jaimedey5 to remember is: if you ask on here, we'll answer to the best of our ability...but we only see the side we're presented with.  I would suggest waiting longer to make a paypal claim if the issue comes up again; you can see when the PM gets opened by checking your 'sent' mail(the icon changes) and usually wait at least a day or two after it's been read before doing anything else, Paypal claims are viewed as the 'last resort' by most of us, even after asking on the trading forums.

It wasn't until TAK thought you were selling the ponies that anyone really said anything negative, right?(well, many of us felt she should have asked for the ponies back, but that's a separate issue.)  Having your name in the title of a thread is usually an attempt to get your attention and warn others there may be an issue going on, not a blacklist type of thing.   You can check, *my* name has been in here before, I had a string of personal disasters, so I wasn't able to be online much.  Same with MANY sellers and buyers.  If they thought there was a major problem(scams, shill bidding, etc.), the title would probably have had WARNING or ATTENTION in it.

TAK, for you I think the thing to remember is there are *tons* of each pony out there, and just because someone is selling the same pony doesn't necessarily mean it's the one you sold or gave them.   If someone asks about smells, a good way to check is get your nose right into the hair, and the base of the tail, in a place where there won't be competing smells.  It sounds silly but the hair picks up odors more then the vinyl will, and if there's no other scents in the area it's easier to notice.  I have a horrible sense of smell do to being around smoke most of my life, but I've found this works pretty good!

I hope both of you continue to be active here on the arena, and don't let this experience sour your pony fun!

[Snapdragon]

Jamie said
you are a disgusting ugly person....you are destroying my Ebay business with your slander...having people block me is just sick. 

The fact that you stoop to insults is what would make me avoid you as a seller really quickly, actually. I'd be interested to see any evidence of your eBay business being harmed, if you have it?

To be brutally honest, the conversation between Tak and JamieDey5 in this thread feels quite a bit like bullying. I feel like Tak is getting a major guilt-trip, both on and off this thread, and she's caving to it because she considers herself a "newbie" going up against a more experienced seller making unfounded threats and inappropriate insults. She's under immense pressure to make it "right" again, even going so far as promising to make a "big purchase" from JamieDey5 in May. Maybe I'm misreading, but that's what I'm feeling here, and it's something that upsets me quite a bit.

JamieDey5, you make your business re-selling ponies for large markups on eBay. So you, of all people, should know that if you are trying to buy very cheap ponies, you run the risk of receiving ponies from non-experts, who may not know all of your concerns. The phrase "too good to be true" comes to mind here. Do you think if you asked the average flea-market seller, if they would know what mold smells like? That's a similar risk you're taking here. Most people who buy and sell ponies as a business, they are aware that when you buy things for very cheap, you are often paying the market price; you run the risk of getting amazing, hidden gems, or unsellable baits.

Yes, you asked for clarification (which was the proper next step), but we as collectors all have different abilities to sense flaws in our ponies; some people simply lack the experience to see what another person might pick up on immediately. There is no surefire way of ensuring you receive mint ponies from other collectors, unless you pay the high prices required, or buy from very experienced sellers.

Any time you step into a "newbie" seller's thread, I feel like it's an expected fact that you take your luck into your own hands. Sure, you might score a great pony for a great price, but you also risk buying something that's not described to 100% detail. When you see a pony for very cheap, you should not assume "what a deal!" but "this probably isn't a mint pony, or else they would be charging more."

Here's my feeling: the ponies should have been sent back. That was more on Tak than on Jamie, so I'm not blaming either party for this, because Tak was trying to be nice. Ultimately, it's more fair if the ponies were returned for a refund. If I had been Tak, I also would have assumed those were my ponies on the eBay page, so although it was an incorrect assumption, it's a mistake that probably would have happened to anyone. Filing the Paypal claim before working it out with the seller was a big no-no on Jamie's part, which set the stage for everyone to be concerned about scamming in the first place. Even on eBay, you are encouraged to try and work out a refund with your seller before you file with Paypal, unless eBay's policies have changed since I last checked. Ultimately, if JamieDey5 decides to sell any of the ponies she got for free, it's going to look pretty shady to a third party, which is why it would have been a better idea to just return them to Tak in the first place. And there is never a place for bullying and insulting, period.

Ultimately, the thread was started because Tak felt she was not educated enough about selling, and wanted to remedy a problem she had recently faced - she was not trying to call out her seller or insult her in any way. Tak has been nothing but apologetic in this thread, and it was only when more seasoned sellers saw fishy things happening that the mood of the thread changed, IMO.

Frankly, this thread didn't reflect well on JamieDey5, but it truly began to stink when JamieDey5 revealed how aggressive and outright insulting they can be when questioned. Yes, having a thread about you in Trader Support is no fun. But buying and selling ponies for profit means sometimes you have to deal with problem sellers/buyers, and you can't start calling them "disgusting and ugly" when they've been nothing but polite to you until then. Frankly, Tak's PMs to you seem exceedingly apologetic and polite, and you respond with insults.

As a buyer, you have a right to be upset about receiving not-as-described ponies; I think everyone here has had a buying experience that has gone south, and people are sympathetic to what you are going through, myself included. But some of the onus is on you, as well, to ask for photos of every angle of the pony if you are going to be picky about your purchase, and to advise the seller of such. You only make yourself look bad when you start insulting someone, instead of defending yourself without resorting to insults or bullying. No one is suggesting a site-wide boycott, Tak least of all.

Coming into a thread like this and acting like a bully is what's going to sink your reputation in the community, not jumping the gun on a refund.

I'm sorry if this sounds angry, but I can't help but feel like Tak is being taken advantage of, and it's making me a bit tetchy. I've edited my post a bit now that I've cooled down.

[Tiggums6]

I completely agree with Snapdragon here.

[JamieDey5]

im not insulting or bullying anyone...if anyone is bullying its everyone on here not knowing both sides of the story and continually picking on me. I wanted to return the ponies and tried comforting the seller when she started feeling bad about it...I have no control over her decision...now that we hashed it out i am still being attacked by people not even involved in the matter. that in its self doesnt sit right. I stated she was being nasty slandering my name to everyone without everyone having all the info...she in turn made it right and i apologized for any offense, from the shock and hurt of it all, i may have caused. I asked specific questions and she unknowingly sent me exactly what i requested i didnt want so i requested a return which i was informed she didnt care to have them back. I am sorry but I am not all at fault in this matter and will own my part of jumping the gun on opening a paypal case out of my own fear no problem. I didnt in anyway suggest or "bully her" to buy anything from me in the future, nor do i understand why she would say she would?...especially after TAK stating she doesnt have a lot of money?...Im confused and have been confused with several statements/Convos i have received from TAK. No harm done tho i just wish my name not to be drug through the mud either way. i think it untactful to continue to reply with uncalled for jabs towards me...how is me defending myself bullying for a matter TAK and I have made whole, coming here to find out it wasnt whole? She should have continued to talk to me if she wasnt happy with the outcome...but instead came on here and posted nasty things about me from a decision she made without any influence from me...again, i wanted to return the ponies and would have paid to do so but TAK found it not to be worth it. AGAIN NO MORE ATTACKS ON ME PLEASE...TAK AND I HAVE CAME TO A SETTLING POINT.

[Tak]

It is settled at this point I ask a mod to maybe lock the thread? I can be confusing. My mind doesn't work like average and it can be hard to be clear. I take longer because of it. I didn't promise a purchase. I said maybe, because I don't mean to hurt her business. I am low income and especially bad right now. May is my birthday and my mom lets me pick my present within reason. I got a vacuum last year. Best. Present. Ever. On the happy thought of my awesome vacuum, I'm going to try to be more clear in the future and leave all the drama behind.

I implore everyone to just leave it be. You can always pm if necessary. Thanks again for the suggestions, help, and support.

[Snapdragon]

im not insulting or bullying anyone...

I'm just curious, did you not PM Tak that she was "ugly and disgusting"? I'm just curious about how you can claim that you don't bully or insult anyone in public, and then be insulting privately.

I'll say it again; you have every right to be upset about a Trader Support thread. You didn't do anything wrong by agreeing with Tak to not return the ponies. But PMing that to someone when a sale goes south is going to make people avoid you, not any of this business about the sale and misrepresented ponies.

[JamieDey5]

I said that to her in PM (not on the thread) about her character in posting such a thread without coming to me about it not about her appearance.  I guess you have never been hurt and said things to the person who did the hurting....we can all learn from you to be perfect i guess. Please like both TAK and i have said, let it be. Or if insist, u can just keeping bullying me...how ironic.

[bluerose9978]

I said that to her in PM (not on the thread) about her character in posting such a thread without coming to me about it not about her appearance.  I guess you have never been hurt and said things to the person who did the hurting....we can all learn from you to be perfect i guess. Please like both TAK and i have said, let it be. Or if insist, u can just keeping bullying me...how ironic.

Again, as others have pointed out, Tak posted this thread as a learning tool, not to hurt you, JamieDey5. She didn't slander you. You really need to look up that term and its meaning. She never said a bad thing about you. She did make a mistake about thinking you were selling the ponies you gave her and she owned up to that fact. And you have owned up to the fact that you shouldn't have jumped the gun on the paypal dispute. But you have NOT owned up to the fact that you continually call Tak names, call her a bad person and put her down. That is bullying. Snapdragon hasn't bullied you, just pointed out that fact. Saying it in a pm doesn't make it right, it just covers it up so that the rest of us can't see how terrible you're being to the other person!