*UPDATE - it's got messy* Advice re buyer with no contact/payment?

[Marlin]

*update in post 5th November*

Hiya

I have a higher value pony that I decided to offer privately to collectors in my country first, before looking to the overseas market.

I got a very interested response - four people overall in fact which was great. In order to be fair, I let her go to the first person who contacted me, advising the other two mostly interested parties that I would let them know if the sale didn't go through.

Well... three days after Buyer One confirmed she wanted the pony and enthusiastically asked me to 'hit her with my bank details', I'd heard nothing - no mailing address and no payment. So I sent her an email asking if she was still interested, advising fairly and truthfully that I had two other interested parties. Another three days have gone by, and still nothing.

I have dealt with this person one, maybe two other times over the last couple of years, and whilst she has eventually gone through with the trade, certainly the last time we traded (over my country's auction site) she was slow and I think she gave me the 'I put in the wrong bank number' excuse if memory serves me right (but I've long since deleted the emails of that trade so can't be absolutely certain) before eventually paying and putting forward her address etc.

If there's one thing I can't stand about buying/selling, it's a lack of decent communication.

I've emailed her again just now saying that if I haven't heard from her by tomorrow (one week since I gave her my bank details) that I would offer to the next person in line. Do you think this is fair of me to do?

The only thing that is making me uncertain about my decision is that Buyer One advised that she was ill in the same email where she asked me to hit her with the bank details. But if she is capable of emailing, surely she can also pay and send me her mailing address, right? She mentioned her condition was pneumonia - pretty serious I know - so I am concerned that maybe she has ended up in hospital or something. But one - I am purely relying on her word with this - and two - is it too much for me to expect her to at least let me know what is happening? I know that she is mostly communicating from her phone, so surely it wouldn't be that hard for her or someone else to drop me a line?

Your thoughts/advice?   I want to sell the pony. I have two other reliable buyers who are interested. But at the moment I am stuck with one who has been problematic in the past 


EDIT to add: Hmm. In the past 5 minutes since posting this she has just replied to my email...

[ponylady]

I am sorry you are in such a dilemma Marlin. I personally think that if that amount of time has passed with no communication, that it's fair to move on.  While I hope that she is not seriously ill, I feel you are well within your right to sell to the next buyer in line. I believe you have given her ample enough time.

[Marlin]

Thanks, Ponylady

In the past 5 minutes since posting this she has just replied to my email saying she has been in hospital and she thought she had paid and she is going to look into it. But still no mailing address.... so even if she had paid, how was I supposed to send the pony?

I also just checked my auctions feedback and confirmed to myself that yes, it was this trader who had 'trouble' with the bank last time (as she thanked me for my patience in her feedback over the matter).

Guess I'll see what happens. Sigh.

[Ringlets]

  it sounds like this person is a bit of a pain to deal with ..no? but at least she has paid up eventually before hasn't she so hopefully this time is no exception. I understand real life stuff getting in the way sometimes and all that but really communication is so important. Here's hoping everything goes smoothly for you from now on with this

[terabithianprince]

It sounds like a really tricky situation, Marlin. I think enough time has passed to offer them to the next person in line. Communication is so important when it comes to trades and things. And if they really want the pony you would think they would give the address!  They sound like a pain to deal with. Would you mind pming me their trader name? :/

I hope you can work it out

[Marlin]

Thanks, everyone, for your support    And I'm SO glad you agree on the communication thing! Drives me up the wall when people don't bother to let you know what's going on or just leave you hanging. What I don't get is how people fail to realise how just a bit of effort can go such a long way in helping a seller/buyer understand or better a situation.

I emailed her back straight away after her message, reminding her that I also need an address, but, surprise surprise, no response (and she is communicating on a iphone, so my messages I would think would be hard not to see...)

I remain highly skeptical but will give her another day or so. If no joy then Number Two buyer might have an opening.

Will keep you posted, and Prince - I'll pm you now

[Corona]

Usually with people with dodgy communication I give a deadline with my email. In this case it would be "Please respond to this email in X days with (information you want) or I will offer the pony to the next interested buyer." Deadline passes with no communication? Onto the next interested buyer.

[Marlin]

Excellent. Now I am being accused of fraud.

 


Thanks, Corona for you advice. In the end, and after no further emails from the buyer, I gave her another couple of days to see if the payment would go through. Her last communication was that she thought she had paid and would look into it. But she still didn't give me her address.

When no payment was showing this morning, I'd reached fed up point.  I emailed her again, advising I wished to cancel the trade and was going to sell her to the next interested buyer, who I emailed right away.

I got a reply straight away from the first buyer, and finally got her address. We spat back and forth a bit. She wasn't happy that I was not going to complete the trade and kept trying to tell me she had paid and that she had sent her address through. That I know that full well and now she is out of pocket, and basically she accused me of fraud and that she has been advised to take this to the police!

Seriously?!

There is NO payment in my account. I think I can read my statements clearly enough. And I HAVEN'T received any communication from her that has her full address or details of payment being made.

This most disturbing thing about her email was that she stated 'I have been warned about people asking for payment, then stating the money had never come theough...' 'knowing what I know, I just can't trust you'.

Oh my frikken god! I would NEVER scam anyone. I have a great selling history, and I think a lot of people who know me know that. And after sending an email to several collectors about this pony, why on earth would I risk ruining my relationships and reputation in this community by trying to scam money out of them? What a crock.

Sorry - I'm pretty pissed about it all.

Although she has now explicitly stated that she has blocked me and does not wish me to contact her I have sent her one more email. If she has PROOF that she has paid me, I have asked that she sends it through. If 'neither' one of us is lying, then it is quite possible that maybe something has gone wrong. I've asked that she re-send any correspondence concerning payment dates and mailing addresses. I'm not sure what else to do at this point.

The obvious thing I guess is to move on and sell to the next interested person. My only concern is that IF she is being honest, then my conscience won't rest easy.

And to heck with it. If anyone is wondering who this person is, it's Melindra who used to be on trademe (it seems her account no longer exists there which also concerns me). The pony concerned is the MOC Sugarberry I requested a pc on recently. I am not going to be dragged down over this. I think people who know me know that I wouldn't try to scam them.  And if she tries to pull the police into it? For heaven's sake, I have all the proof in the world right now in my inbox and bank statement to show I have not been dishonest.

[foalpatrol]

OK sweetie, deep breaths!  *hands you wine and chocolate and unicorns*

You have done nothing wrong here.  If the money does happen to show in your account from this person, you'll refund her right away.  Tell her that.  She can get the police into it if she likes, but I'd advise her to check what account she supposedly deposited the money into before she embarrasses herself and wastes their time. 

She can call you a scammer and accuse you of fraud but it's pretty clear who's in the wrong here (hint: not you)!  I would trust you with my life AND my alt birthflowers.  xxx

[Marlin]

Oh, you're such a sweetheart - thank you - I needed a smile! 

[Sebby6]

Snipping Tool is a wonderful thing if she felt like sending you a screen shot of the bank transfer...

[ponylady]

Snipping Tool is a wonderful thing if she felt like sending you a screen shot of the bank transfer...

I agree. It sounds like if she did send payment and that's a BIG if, she sent it to the wrong Paypal address.

Post Merge: November 04, 2014, 02:23:13 PM

*edit* to add she is a member here. Although she has not signed on for a year.

[Marlin]

Thanks, guys.

I'm hoping she'll come through with a screen shot or a reference number or something to at least prove herself, but I remain dubious. If she really had sent these emails that she claims, surely she would have followed up if I had not responded? Especially since I had repeatedly requested her mailing address so that I could send the pony once I had been paid. That's what I would have done, anyway.

I've since rung my bank and confirmed that what I am seeing is correct. There is no payment nor anything pending.

Hoping this storm passes quickly.

[terabithianprince]

I'm sorry I didn't say before, but this is the same trader I had issues with a few years ago now And I trust Marlin, she is always a reliable seller and she would never defraud anyone.  But if the buyer did deposit into the wrong account, then surely it would've gone back? Or she'd provide proof of a screenshot or something.  I'm not sure if she paid by NZ bank transfer or what, but I always double check the bank account numbers when transferring for ponies, and nothing like this has ever happened. And even, then I could go back and screenshot the payment, the date etc. Something seems odd.

Just tell her you'll refund her if the payment does show. I hope you can get this sorted and hugs to you.

[Marlin]

Aww... thanks so much, Prince. It means a heck of a lot having that support, thank you 

I had forgotten before speaking to you the other day that you'd had trouble with her. Certainly my first mistake in this whole endeavour was including her in my sales email. I wish now I had never done it. Hindsight, eh?

Well, as of this morning still no response to my email asking for proof of the payment, and no payment of course. So unless something is seriously wrong with my email and I'm not getting her messages for some reason, then she's done herself no favours in my book.

What I don't get, is that if she wanted out of the trade, she only needed say so. I gave her plenty of opportunities - I gave her lots of photos as the pony is flawed, and made mention several times when trying to confirm that she wanted to go ahead (because I hadn't heard from her) that I had other ready buyers. And yet she maintained in one of her latter emails that she really wanted to add this pony to her collection. This whole thing has been very stressful and is now highly baffling.

Thank you again to those who have posted in this thread for your thoughts and support. This has certainly made its way into my top 'worst' trading experiences