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Actually, you can, depending on the country I suppose. Getting the sender to mark the package as a gift is one way. Getting them to write a lower value on the envelope also helps. Plus, it's not really tax, it's more like you getting ripped off when someone sends you a free bait and the state wants to charge you $10 for "importing" it, but I digress.It is 100% buyers responsibility to anticipate tax and to deal with it, and it sounds to me like this buyer knows it but still wants to try to come on top in this situation. They had no right to demand you do them any favours regarding this AFTER they bought the item, that is something that needs to be done before bidding. If I'm not mistaken, eBay rules say as much, so you really don't need to go out of your way to please this buyer.
I would hardly call it fraud... Someone sends me a free bait pony and I have to pay € 10 import fees? Now that's stealing!