New Arena trend: not responding back?

[hokuspokus]

I've seen a new trend on the arena, and that's the "not responding back" trend (due to selling/trading)


I get messages about my sales/trades. Totally fine and welcome BUT, after i give info on sales (shipping/details on trading and so on), i see more and more people not responding back anymore, not even when i ask them to please tell me something, because sometimes there is more interest in a certain pony. Seriously, it kinda irritates me now, since it seems to happen more and more. These members have read my messages, i can see it in my outbox.

I ALWAYS ask people to at least let me know if they do not want to go further in trading/buying anymore. I get it that the Dutch shippingcosts are high, or maybe someone changes their mind, that's totally fine, it happens . But come on, don't let me wait like this  Just tell me that you can't afford the high shipping(for example), i totally understand! But the disappearing.... i find it rather rude. To some people, i've been asking several times to please let me know something, as i was putting the pony on hold for them, and still nothing. Sigh.

I kinda wonder if i'm the only one who is having this. Probably not, but i wanna know if this happens much. I've also seen the most lame excuses for the lack of responding;
no time (while they are starting/responding several topics on here...pff)
no money (while i see them PMing for expensive ponies from others) and so on. I don't gét these excuses. Let's just be honest and say: 'no (arena member), i didn't PM you because i didn't care enough' Takes ya only 5 minutes or less.

Is it really tóó much effort to respectfully answer the seller/buyer/trader? 


a quick end of this topic w/ a thanks to everyone that doés respond back. It makes ya really appriciate that nowadays. Even with the negativity i write here i never forget the happy communication that also excists

[bluerose9978]

I get the exact same thing. Sometimes I wonder if my PMs are going through because I will respond and get absolutely nothing in return and it's annoying. I can understand if someone can't respond immediately, but to ignore a PM completely is just rude.

[hokuspokus]

I get the exact same thing. Sometimes I wonder if my PMs are going through because I will respond and get absolutely nothing in return and it's annoying. I can understand if someone can't respond immediately, but to ignore a PM completely is just rude.

Thanks for understanding & sorry to hear you're dealing with it at the same time.

Taking time = no problem, indeed! I've put ponies for someone on hold for almost a month, BUT this was in perfect communication with the buyer, and the buyer paid when she said she would pay. It went all perfect! I don't mind if it takes a few days or even a week before someone PMs me back, really. I think i'm not difficult as i'm very open to put ponies on hold for longer than 7 days, in communication with the buyer there is always an option for several things. But if i dó hold the pony for one, i'd like them to at least get back to me if the don't want it anymore. Again, very rude and annoying.. thanks for your understanding - really means alot right now

[Sarahlacewing]

Hmm I think I've done this before.  I try to shoot a quick - ok nevermind, but I know I forget sometimes.  I usually just assume the person isn't interested if they don't inquire further. I never hold unless directly asked to hold.  My memory is so bad. If I've done this to any lurkers, sorry!!

[Unicorn_pops]

Sorry Hokus that your dealing with this! Maybe put in your listings about holding an item for 24 hours only. That way you've given them a chance and if they don't respond, you can move on to a more interested buyer. Good luck sweetie!!

[SFlame]

Ive also been having problems with this - its kinda rude i think!

[Vintergatan]

I've had people do this many times, but like Sarahlacewing, i don't bother if they don't answer after inquiring about an item because I don't automatically put it on hold for them or anything like that.

what bothers me is when the sale or trade HAS gone through and the other party doesn't let me know they got the pony and if everything is ok :S:S I find that really annoying because I'm under stress from the day I ship out an item until I get the message that the item is received and is safe and sound.

fortunately this happens very rarely but communication is just so important!

[lovesbabysquirmy]

I think the new PM script makes it really easy to not respond to people while passively surfing, and that comes across as very rude.    If it marks them all as read, then you might only reply to the newest - or you might just click to another screen.  I know I'm guilty of this, but I usually feel guilty enough that I go back and answer that same night. 

[hokuspokus]

Maybe put in your listings about holding an item for 24 hours only.

I've had people do this many times, but like Sarahlacewing, i don't bother if they don't answer after inquiring about an item because I don't automatically put it on hold for them or anything like that.

Maybe i should change the 'on hold' thing. I always do 7 days to give everyone plenty time, i don't want to rush people into payment, but it's sooo annoying if i hold the item 7 days and the person goes into silence. After i told them i put it on hold for them :/
Thanks for the advice - maybe i should put hold for less days or just for people that i know will pay in the end.

I think the new PM script makes it really easy to not respond to people while passively surfing, and that comes across as very rude.    If it marks them all as read, then you might only reply to the newest

Really? In my PM box it says 'new' with all the new messages. Is there a difference if you're on cellphone or computer? I don't use my phone to come online here, only good ol' computer

[Marlin]

Call me old fashioned, but I think a little manners goes a long way, and people all too often forget about them nowadays. I think what you've experienced Hokus is downright rude, and I'm sorry to hear you've had it happen to you.

A while ago I posted a few ponies up for sale. I got a couple of enquiries and both members were slack in their communications. One person eventually got back in touch to advise they would leave them (which was totally fine - I appreciated them finally getting back to me), and the other who appeared quite interested came back and forth (over about a week and a half if I recall) asking about various shipping costs to the point where I eventually went down to the post office and got an accurate quote for them. I never heard back from them. And they never responded to my follow up pm either. Totally poor trading etiquette in my opinion.

I've also had a member twice now approach me about an art trade and never follow through with their communications. Geez.... if you don't want to go ahead, that's fine, but at least have the courtesy to say so! Not that bloody hard 

In both the above cases I was never angry about things not going ahead (rather relieved, actually - if things start out badly how will they end up?), but I was disappointed in their communications. Again, it's just manners! (but needless to say, I won't be keen on wasting anymore of my time with either of the members concerned if they approach me again in the future )

I agree that it only takes a couple of minutes of your time to drop someone a note, and even if it is to advise that you do not wish to follow through with a purchase or a trade at least it brings some closure to the person you enquired with.

[Taxel]

I think the new PM script makes it really easy to not respond to people while passively surfing, and that comes across as very rude.    If it marks them all as read, then you might only reply to the newest - or you might just click to another screen.  I know I'm guilty of this, but I usually feel guilty enough that I go back and answer that same night. 

I was going to say this. I've completely missed PMs that I never touched because they got marked as Read. Usually I'm able to catch missed PMs quickly, but if for some reason I'm getting a lot of PMs or something like that its alarmingly easy to completely lose a PM because of it.

Before you get upset/angry at people, try PMing them multiple times. The Arena's PM system makes it much too easy to lose PMs.

[Stormness_1]

Yeah I often miss messages when I'm on my phone, but I do try to get on the actual computer to have a look if I remember.. but then again sometimes I'll be walking out the door on the arena, and my wireless cuts out and I have no idea if a PM sent or not either... and then I'll be work-sleep-work-sleep for a few days and completely forget to check until I realise I'm waiting on a reply. Multiple pm's are definitely the way to go.

[Sugar]

I've noticed that if I check into the Arena on my 3DS (which I sometimes do at work), I can miss PMs.   Of course, I'm also a bona-fide twinkie-flake, so if I've forgotten to reply to a message 'cause I've spaced on it, I am sincerely sorry for it.   Sometimes we old folks need (and appreciate!) a nudge.

[Prince Primbrose]

I also miss PMs if I have multiple messages  at a time. I also have a terrible memory; I'll ask about a pony, then leave the page to think about whether I want to buy her or not, and then I won't remember for a week. I try to remember to get back to everyone about whether or not I want to buy something.

(With personal messages, after a while I feel too awkward about forgetting to respond.  )

[HoustonCollector72]

if they do not respond and do not request an item to put on hold then just move on    why wait on them ? no drama